Keep Moving Forward
by heart-of-a-volunteer
Summary: The seaQuest accomodates two scientists for a five-month research project, who cause more upheaval than expected, particularly for one member of the crew. Set during Season One.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first story, so please be gentle, and I hope you enjoy it. Feedback is always appreciated, but if you have a criticism, please make it constructive. Writers gain nothing from nasty feedback except a loss in self-confidence.**

**I owe a lot of thanks to my beta, Shudunedus, for her contributions, especially relating to Katie, and to Modestroad for reading everything I throw at her too.**

**Note: The 'something' that's supposed to have happened to Katie is a nod to 'The Other You' by Shudunedus, because I enjoyed that story so much.**

**Set shortly after 'Greed For a Pirate's Dream' and during 'Whale Song' and 'The Stinger'.**

**seaQuest concept and characters are the intellectual property of Universal Pictures and Amblin Entertainment. I own nothing.  
**

***

_seaQuest DSV 4600 – I  
__North Pacific Ocean,  
__24th August 2018, 0725  
__41N 2' 46.38", 137W 22' 22.97"_

"You know it's true what they say about breakfast. A good, well balanced meal will set you up right for the whole day, which is why I'm glad we always have such a variety to choose from here on the boat."

Jonathan looked up, quizzically, at the Lieutenant sitting next to him. "It's the same everyday, Krieg."

"Exactly. A little variety wouldn't go amiss every now and then."

"Well, _you're_ the supply officer," Jonathan quipped, receiving nothing but an unimpressed look from Ben for his efforts.

"Yes, thank you, Commander. It's a big boat. Sometimes you can't please everybody."

"A boat, no matter how big, isn't much good if its' crew is unhappy."

"Let me know what you'd like, Commander. I'll see what I can manage," Ben said, sarcastically, rather exasperated.

Jonathan, on the other hand, was enjoying the exchange. "I never said a thing. It was you who brought it up," he teased.

Collecting her breakfast a few tables away, Katie watched with amusement as Jonathan tried to suppress a laugh. He had a lot more time for Ben these days, after what happened. If anything, Schraeder's attack on the seaQuest had made the relationship between the three of them more solid, and forged a mutual respect between the two men. However, even with a newfound tolerance for Ben, Jonathan still didn't half like to tease him.

"Take it easy, Ben. He's just winding you up," she told him, as she sat down at their table.

"I'm perfectly aware of that," he insisted.

Katie and Jonathan both glanced at each other with a look that read, '_sure_'.

In the face of competition from breakfast, conversation took a backseat for a few minutes while they ate and caught up with their own thoughts.

Among Jonathan's thoughts, a sudden question came to him. "Katie," he began. "What the hell happened at Hilo? You've smashed your distance records on the treadmill three nights running."

"Jealous?" she answered, dodging the question entirely.

Jonathan grinned and shook his head. "Not a chance."

Frowning, she nodded in sarcastic agreement. "I was just blowing off some steam."

"Before this research thing starts?"

"Something like that."

"When _do_ the researchers arrive?" Ben asked, eager to interrupt the banter.

"A few hours," Jonathan answered.

"What is it they're studying again?"

"Whales," Katie answered, flatly, her thoughts elsewhere.

Jonathan feigned disappointment. "And I was _really_ hoping it would be something interesting. I hear sea cucumbers are _fascinating_," he laughed.

"Actually sea cucumbers are quite a delicacy in the East," Ben added.

"You have _not_ tried sea cucumber," Katie half stated, half asked.

"I did. Three years ago in Singapore."

"How was it?" Jonathan asked, interested, as they tidied away their dishes.

Ben paused for a moment, trying to remember the exact texture, and shuddered as it came to him. "Disgusting."

"I still can't believe this is going to take _five_ months," Katie added.

"What's wrong with that?" Ben asked.

Katie rolled her eyes. "This boat, and this crew, is capable of so much more than tagging along behind a group of whales for five months. It just seems like a long time."

Together, they left the mess and headed along the corridor.

"I believe it's called a pod," Ben corrected.

"What?"

"A group of whales; it's called a pod."

"Figures."

"Figures what?"

"Figures you'd know that," Katie said sternly. Watching his baffled expression, a smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. Something always made her do that – she loved to confuse him.

"Whatever," Jonathan interjected. "As long as we don't end up near another volcanic island – I don't mind," he joked.

Ben agreed with that statement. Being stranded on an island that was about to explode hadn't exactly been his greatest experience of the tour. '_All I wanted was a suntan_,' he thought to himself, dismally. He was just thankful that the boat's Chief Scientist, Kristin Westphalen had stood up and taken control of the situation. "Yeah, what's going on with that? Is Westphalen still getting a reprimand?" he asked.

"I wouldn't think so," Jonathan guessed. "Bridger isn't likely to let her take the fall for it. Especially when she saved our lives."

"I still can't believe she did that," Ben mused.

Katie smiled in agreement. "All credit to her. It's not everyday a scientist releases the entire missile payload of a military sub."

"No," Ben corrected. "I'm talking about what she did to Noyce. Can you imagine the reprimand _we'd_ get if one of us were to shut off the Admiral mid-sentence?" He slowed down as Katie and Jonathan stopped by the mag-lev. "See you guys later," he waved.

Katie and Jonathan both nodded in response and chuckled as they took a seat.

'_mag-lev engaged, please be seated to avoid injury. Next stop – Bridge.'_

"Are you sure nothing happened while you were away?" Jonathan asked, after a moment.

"I'm sure," she gazed at him warmly and smiled in reassurance.

He half-smiled back in acceptance, knowing not to investigate any further.

'_Please wait for full stop – Bridge – Thank you for riding mag-lev_.'

As soon as they stepped out of the mag-lev and through the doors to the bridge, they both slid into their familiar, business-like, demeanour, and settled into their positions as the next watch began.

***

_seaQuest DSV 4600 – I  
__Gulf of Alaska,  
__North Pacific Ocean,  
__24th August 2018, 1145  
__53N 57' 21.9", 145W 22' 15.94"_

The watch had been a slow one, but the relaxed pace was something Nathan was relishing considering recent events.

They'd left Pearl three days previously, after a short stop to re-stock their ordnance, and had headed north, where they now cruised in the Gulf of Alaska, waiting to rendezvous with a research team. They'd been circling the rendezvous co-ordinates for a good few hours, waiting patiently.

The UEO, partnered with several Universities across the globe, had commissioned seaQuest to follow the movements and behaviour patterns of several humpback whale groups, with the aim of establishing a temporal marine reserve to conserve the species. With under-water traffic growing, collisions with sea-craft and pollution were becoming a severe problem for the species. This project was hopefully a step forward in the conservation of all marine life, while still allowing for expansion of man's underwater exploits, and was precisely the type of research that had tempted him out of retirement.

He looked over his right shoulder to the sonar station, where Chief Ortiz had just sprung into life.

"Captain," he called out. "WSKRS are picking up the launch from the University."

"How far, Mr Ortiz?"

"Approximately 11,000 metres."

"Reduce speed, Commander. Let's give them time to catch up."

"Aye, Sir. Helm, reduce speed; 30 knots," Ford relayed the orders.

"I'll be in the launch bay," Nathan announced, standing up. "Mr Ortiz?"

"Sir?"

"With me, please. Take the wheel, Commander."

Ford nodded and watched as the Captain left with Ortiz. Grinning inside, he leisurely strolled over to the Captain's chair and sat himself down. Being in command of the seaQuest, for no matter how short a time, was something that he couldn't ever see getting old.

***

The passengers of the shuttle stared in awe as the lights of the seaQuest loomed out of the darkness of the cold North Pacific. One of its' satellites bobbed around nearby, keeping an eye on their course. A voice crackled over the speaker.

"seaQuest DSV to launch MR-3. Good afternoon, it's 1200 hours and you are cleared for docking. Adjust course, bearing 163 degrees and proceed to docking bay two."

"Roger that, seaQuest, 163 degrees, reducing speed for approach."

The pilot reversed the engines, slowing the shuttle and allowing room for manoeuvring into the docking hatch.

As they moved in closer, they could see the full length of the thousand-foot long submarine streaming out in both directions. It was even more impressive than they'd imagined.

***

Aboard the seaQuest, Nathan and Miguel prepared to welcome the researchers. With them stood Kristin, and another member of the science staff, Lucas Wolenczak.

"Doctor Briers is an absolute legend, I am so looking forward to working with him," chirped Kristin.

"How much does this suck though? It's summer and we're heading for the Arctic," Lucas added.

"Like it really matters when you're on a submarine, Lucas," Miguel chuckled. "I'm just glad we're doing something positive for once, instead of settling disputes."

"By _settling disputes_, you mean following the UEO mandate, Mr Ortiz?" Bridger raised a brow.

"Uh, yes, Sir," Miguel smiled, embarrassed.

"At ease, Mr Ortiz. This will be a welcome break for all of us."

Miguel, like the rest of them, was eager to meet the researchers. Unlike many of the other science projects they'd had onboard, this one would be making heavy use of the WSKRS and tracking equipment, so he'd be involved in a lot of the work. It was a prospect that excited him. So far he hadn't been very intensively involved in any of the scientific projects, so he was looking forward to working on something long term. However, five months was a long time to spend working with strangers. He just hoped they were decent enough people. Work was work, but having the right atmosphere made all the difference. That's why he was glad Bridger had thought to invite him down to the launch bay. Hopefully they'd all start off on a good footing.

"Launch MR-3 has docked, Sir. Our guests should be with us shortly," Chief Crocker told them.

The party watched in eager anticipation as the docking hatch doors swung open. At the top of the stairs stood an elderly man, whose face burst into a warm grin as he spotted them. Crocker immediately took his arm and began to help him down the stairs. Behind them, a young woman slung bags over her back as they were passed up the ladder from the shuttle. Once he was done helping the elderly man, Crocker went back to help her. Laden with baggage, they both made their way towards them.

"Doctor Briers, welcome aboard," Captain Bridger shook his hand.

"Thank you, Captain, we are most grateful for your assistance."

"I'd like you to meet Doctor Kristin Westphalen and Lucas Wolenczak of our science staff, this is Chief Manilow Crocker of our security team, and Chief Petty Officer Miguel Ortiz, our sonar and WSKRS operator."

"Ah, Doctor Westphalen, I know your work well," Doctor Briers shook her hand.

Kristin smiled in delight, instantly charmed by his manner.

"How do you do? A pleasure," Doctor Briers acknowledged them all in turn. "Uh, I beg your pardon, this is my research assistant, Elizabeth Allen."

Beth stepped forward shyly.

"Captain Bridger, thank you for having us," she shook his hand firmly.

"Doctor Westphalen, Mr Wolenczak, Mr Crocker, Mr Ortiz," she greeted each of them.

"Is this all of you?" Kristin asked, bemused. For such a large project she'd expected a team of five at least.

"Securing the use of the seaQuest wasn't cheap," Doctor Briers explained. "I could only squeeze enough funding out of them for two researchers."

"Oh!" Kristin barked. "Don't get me started on the inadequacies of funding."

"Well," Nathan interjected. "If you'd like to follow me, we'll show you to your rooms. Thank you, Chief." he said, as they left Crocker to his duties, and headed out of the launch bay.

Miguel watched as Beth scrambled to pick up as many bags as she could. "Here, let me help you with those," he offered.

"Thank you," she said, handing him a suitcase and rucksack. He went to pick up another bag but she snatched it away, protectively. "I've got it, thanks," she insisted.

He raised an eyebrow, but dismissed it, assuming it was her personal effects.

"That's one of the many pitfalls of working for an OAP," she spoke, "I do all the heavy lifting."

"I heard that!" Bill bellowed from ahead of them. "I may be an OAP, but don't you underestimate the range of my hearing."

Miguel breathed a laugh at the wit of the old man. "What's it like working for him?" he asked.

"You heard him. Imagine that all day in the lab," she joked. "But no, it's good. Challenging, but good." There was silence for a moment, as both struggled to continue the conversation, listening intently to the cases rattling along the grates covering the deck. "What about yourself?" she asked, eventually. "Must be quite something…working here."

"Yeah, it's pretty much the same – a challenge, but a good one," he explained.

He watched her walking for a few moments. "You've never been on a submarine before have you?"

"No, why?"

"You look as pale as a sheet and you're walking like you're on the moon," he laughed.

"Yeah, I'm not actually feeling that great," she admitted. "I've been on plenty boats before, but it always takes a while to get my sea-legs."

"Speak to Doctor Westphalen. She might be able to give you something to help. I'm afraid there's nothing we can do about the moon walking though," he chuckled, while she rolled her eyes at him.

They rounded the corner and gathered with everyone else in front of the mag-lev. Once it arrived, they all piled in, attempting to make room for all the bags, and ensure Bill was comfortably seated before they were hurtled along the boat.

'_mag-lev engaged, please be seated to avoid injury'_

"Well," Bill sighed, as they started moving. "That certainly saves a lot of creaking joints," he joked, raising a laugh from them all.

"Just make sure you're properly seated, otherwise it'll be more than creaking joints I have to contend with," Kristin reiterated.

"I _did_ hear the announcement, thank you, Doctor Westphalen."

Kristin and Nathan exchanged an amused smile, while on the other side of the mag-lev, Miguel and Beth did exactly the same thing.

The mag-lev slowed to a halt and the doors opened. Miguel helped gather the bags once more and plodded along after them. When they reached Bills' room, Beth handed over 4 of the 6 bags, much to Lucas and Miguel's shock.

"What?" she said. "Some of us know how to pack light," she nodded sarcastically to Bill. He laughed and waved her off. "Will you be alright?" she asked him.

He raised his eyebrows. "I _am_ capable of being unsupervised for more than 30 seconds," he quipped.

"Not in my experience!" she shouted as Kristin led her along the corridor to her room. Their cabins were situated among the rest of the science staff, and as such were larger than those endured by most of the crew onboard, with the exception of the officers. The room was far more luxurious than Beth had imagined. She'd had visions of a narrow, darkly lit room with thin, wobbly bunks, straight out of old war movies. But the guest quarters were spacious, with enough room for a small desk, wardrobe and a washbasin, and the bed set into the wall.

"It's not much, I agree, but in a few days you'll just be glad of somewhere to lay your head," Kristin reassured.

'_Not much?_' Beth thought. Doctor Westphalen clearly had different standards.

"You must be tired after the long journey. Perhaps you'd like a few hours to rest?" she asked, as Nathan rejoined them.

"Actually, no," Beth stated. "I'd rather see some of the boat, if that's alright?"

There were glances exchanged, back and forth, between the figures in the doorway for a few moments, before Nathan made a decision.

"Mr Ortiz? Perhaps you could escort Miss Allen to the bridge. I'll be along shortly."

"Yes, Sir," Miguel nodded.

"That's great, you can meet Darwin!" Lucas' enthusiastic voice spoke from behind them.

They all rolled their eyes, knowing he loved to show him off to any new guest onboard, but Beth just looked confused.

"Alright, I'll leave you in their hands," Kristin said. "I think Doctor Briers is going to have a rest. I'll be in the lab most of the afternoon if you happen to stop by, but if not I'll see you at dinner."

"Uh, when is that? Dinner I mean," Beth asked.

"1800 hours, I'll see you later," she smiled, and headed off down the corridor with Nathan, leaving Miguel standing with Lucas, waiting expectantly for Beth to join them.

"Just give me a minute to catch my breath," she said, smiling awkwardly, before moving to the door and closing them out.

Sealed in the relative confinement of her room, she blew out a deep breath, as much to steady her nerves as in frustration at the close quarters she'd suddenly found herself in. Personal space was something she'd always valued, so to have been thrust onto a submarine with a group of people to whom she had no connection whatsoever, was somewhat of a challenge. She'd been honoured really at having been given the chance to work on this project, but the thought of being cooped up in a metal tub for months on end didn't really appeal; least of all in the frozen Arctic. At least she had her own room – somewhere to escape to. '_And_,' she reminded herself, '_This is a once in a lifetime opportunity_.'

After a few minutes of waiting, Miguel and Lucas stepped back to let her walk out and shut the door behind her. She'd changed out of her loose travelling clothes into jeans and a zip-up olive cardigan.

Miguel motioned her forward and led them back along the corridor to the mag-lev. Unlike before, when the conversation had at least been stilted, now it had dried up completely, leaving all three sitting in uncomfortable silence, and Miguel hoping it was just a momentary blip.

There was a collective sigh of relief when the mag-lev slowed to a halt. '_Please wait for a full stop – Bridge – thank you for riding mag-lev.' _

They piled out and stood in front of the set of silver clam doors at the entrance to the bridge. Miguel turned the lever on a control panel to the right and with a buzz of bells, the doors swung open.

"Welcome to the bridge," he smiled and held out his arm, urging Beth forward. As they reached the top of the steps, Lucas quickly disappeared over to a dome shaped water tank to their left and motioned her over. She didn't notice, instead too distracted by all the sailors walking about on duty, the flashing lights and various images appearing on large screens around the wall. The scene was impressively mesmerising, however she was brought back to her senses as two crew members approached them.

"Mr Ortiz?" The man asked.

"Commander, this is Miss Elizabeth Allen, Doctor Briers assistant," Miguel told them. "This is Commander Jonathan Ford and Lieutenant Commander, Katherine Hitchcock."

The Commanders' faces relaxed as they shook Beth's hand and welcomed her onboard.

"Nice to meet you both," Beth smiled. "Thank you for having us."

"I think Lucas wants to show you something," Miguel nodded towards the tank.

"Pleasure to meet you, Miss Allen; if there's anything you require while you're onboard, our supply officer, Lieutenant Krieg, will be happy to help you out," Ford told her. "Mr Ortiz, assume your station please," he ordered.

"Yes, Sir," Miguel took his leave and returned to work.

Lucas was perched on the edge of the tank, punching digits on a yellow controller, as Beth walked over to join him. She looked at him questioningly.

'_Just wait,'_ his expression read.

A few seconds later, a spray of water droplets broke the surface and a sleek bottlenose dolphin paddled over to greet them.

"Wow," Beth beamed.

"This is Darwin," Lucas said.

"He's beautiful. Does he _stay_ here?" she asked, with underlying concern.

"Well yeah, but he's here of his own free will," Lucas insisted.

"Free will?"

"Yeah, he wants to be here," he tried to explain, but received only a blank look. "Captain Bridger sort of _adopted _him…actually they adopted each other."

"Lucas," a voice said, "new lady."

Beth's eyes bulged as she stared at Darwin, "_What_?"

"It's a prototype system I designed," Lucas said proudly.

"That's incredible."

"New lady," Darwin repeated.

"Yes, new lady. Beth," Lucas explained.

"Beth," Darwin tried. "Beth, friend?"

"Yes, Beth friend," Lucas replied.

She laughed and removed her hand from the tank. "How long did it take you to put this together?"

"A long time," Lucas laughed, "It was trial and error mostly." He looked at Beth, noticing the thoughtful expression on her face. "You're wondering whether the same could be done for humpbacks?"

"I suppose, yeah, but I wouldn't have a clue where to start."

"It's just putting meaning to sounds – learning another language."

"A very different language," she commented.

"What's your background?" Lucas asked, "Scientifically speaking I mean."

"Ecology," she told him. "I'm guessing you didn't major in the biological sciences?"

"No, Applied Science of Artificial Intelligence," he said.

"Ah, a whiz kid," she teased.

"Something like that."

"You must be in your element here then? All this technology to play with?"

"Yeah, it has its moments."

"Is this what you want to do then?" she asked, gesturing around her.

"Well," he stumbled. "I don't know." He thought hard for an answer. It wasn't as if he hadn't thought about it – it was just that every time he did think about it he failed to come up with anything solid.

"Ah, you've got time," she dismissed it.

"Play, Beth, Lucas play," Darwin splashed, fed up with their conversation.

"What do you want to play, Darwin?" Lucas asked him.

"Swim, football."

"You taught him football?"

Lucas laughed, "Yeah, what's wrong with football? I mean baseball is better, but I could see a few problems with that," he joked.

"Mr Wolenczak? I assume you're remembering the vocorder is classified," Captain Bridger scolded from behind them.

Lucas turned and tried to judge whether his question was genuine. "But Captain," he said, unsure.

Nathan scowled at him, tight lipped, before breaking into a grin. "It's alright, Lucas, Miss Allen and Doctor Briers are both security cleared," Bridger laughed.

"That's not funny," Lucas frowned. His stunts already had him in some disfavour with the UEO, and he didn't like the thought of jeopardising his position.

"This is a very impressive ship, Captain, not at all like the tub I was expecting," Beth remarked, somewhat clumsily.

"I'm glad you think so," Nathan replied, amused. "And, just for future reference, it's a boat. Would you like a tour of the Bridge?" he asked.

"Yes, thank you," Beth replied.

Miguel looked round from his station long enough to notice Beth was no longer at the tank, and was being walked round the bridge by the Captain. A voice suddenly came across his headset, startling him.

"Hey, so, what do you think?" Tim asked across the internal comms system.

"Tim! She's been here five minutes, I hardly know!" he whispered. He swivelled round further and found her walking with the Captain towards Tim. "Bandit, 6 'o clock!" he warned, and laughed as Tim turned sharply and gave his best '_I'm really excited to meet you_,' smile, that he'd called upon many times during the tour.

"Miss Allen, this is our communications officer, Lieutenant Tim O'Neill. Mr O'Neill, Miss Allen is Doctor Briers student, she'll be working with us on the bridge over the next few months."

"Pleasure to meet you, Mr O'Neill."

"Thank you," he remarked, and watched as the Captain led her onwards, treating her to in-depth explanations at each station. All the while, Miguel was stealing glances in her direction. Tim simply rolled his eyes. It seemed the boats' womaniser was back in action.

Nathan led her onwards round the helm controls and up the steps to the engineering screen where Lieutenant Commander Hitchcock was seated.

"Commander Hitchcock is our Chief Engineer; she keeps everything ticking over," he said.

"Can't be easy on a big boat like this," Beth commented, making sure to use '_boat_' this time.

"No, but I have a good team," she smiled, before turning her attention to the monitor in front of her. "Captain, helm control is having some difficulties with the rear dive planes; the response time is out-with acceptable levels. I'd like you to have a look over it with me."

Nathan looked over at Beth apologetically.

"That's ok, I'll look around," she smiled, slightly annoyed at having been given what felt like a brush-off, and wandered off, immediately heading for a familiar face.

"Hi," she spoke behind Miguel. "So, this is where everything goes on?"

He swivelled to find Beth standing behind him.

"Hey," he smiled, "Yeah, sonar is controlled from here, along with our WSKRS – Mother, Junior and Loner. Three are out on point at all times. We sometimes use a fourth, Lucky, but not often. All the data is sent back here, where I have to make sense of it."

"Right," she said flatly. "I read up a little on them before we left."

Miguel sensed a little annoyance in her tone. "Sorry, just stop me if I'm repeating what you know."

"No," she said, shaking her head and taking a seat next to him. "You're the expert, fire away," she insisted. "I know what WSKRS stands for and I know how much they cost – that's enough to scare me."

Miguel smiled, "They're a little intimidating, until you get to know them."

"Get to know_ them_?" she teased; "you're on personal terms with your equipment?" she laughed.

He was relieved that she seemed to have loosened up a bit. "They're our link to the world around us – I kinda have to be. It's not as complicated as you might think," he reassured.

"Good job too," she smiled back. "Have you tested them out around any pods?"

"We've tried deploying them whenever there are pods in the area, but those were just casual encounters. We haven't specifically tracked a pod yet."

"And how did that go?"

"Pretty well. I think most of the time they were more concerned with filling their bellies. Those that did take an interest didn't see them as a threat. They seemed keen to interact with them actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I almost lost loner once or twice to a swish of the tail," he laughed.

They both stopped as Nathan and Lucas walked over to join them.

"Miss Allen, Lucas will take you back to your room for now so you can get some rest if that's alright."

"Uh," she stumbled.

"Unless you'd like to stay here and learn about the sensors. They are after all an integral part of the project," Nathan suggested.

Beth stuttered, torn, and not really knowing what she wanted. She was tired, but the last thing she wanted was sleep. She wanted to be alone and be left in peace, but she was also enjoying the relaxed company of the Sensor Chief. He was genuine and was content with simple conversation rather than trying to pry personal information from her. She liked that. "No, I'm sure Mr Ortiz has far better things to be getting on with," she decided. "But I'm really not tired. Maybe I could see the labs?"

"Sure, I could take you," Lucas offered.

"Right then. Thank you, Mr Ortiz," Nathan ushered her away. "A quick word if I might," he said, hushed, leaning closer to her. "Forgive me for saying, but Doctor Briers doesn't appear to be in the best of health."

Beth sighed. "He's 81 years old, Captain," she said, sarcastically, which he didn't appreciate.

"I'm aware of that, Miss Allen," he snapped back.

Realising she'd spoken out of turn, she backed down. "His body just can't keep up as well as it used to. Compared to a lot of people his age, he's not doing badly. His work is what keeps him going. You've no idea what a tonic it is for him to be here."

Nathan nodded, reassuringly and allowed Lucas to lead her off the bridge. On their way out they ran into Ben.

"Oh, Ben, this is Beth Allen," Lucas introduced. "She's a research assistant for the humpback whale project. Beth, this is Lieutenant Ben Krieg."

"A pleasure," Ben said as he shook her hand. "As I'm sure Commander Ford will have told you, I'm the Supply and Morale Officer onboard. Feel free to contact me if there's anything you need. You're here for a few months I hear?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Excellent, excellent. Always good to have new faces onboard," he commented.

***

Although she'd been hard at work, Kristin had been gracious and taken time to show Beth round. She was an extremely likeable character, both assertive and gentle at once.

She was also introduced to Doctor Joshua Levin, another senior member of the science staff, who was extremely enthusiastic about the project and filled her with an eagerness to get started on the work.

"What's your main area of interest?" she asked him.

"Oh, anything in the biological and geological sciences."

"How many projects do you have running here at any one time?" Beth asked, curious.

"Dozens," Doctor Levin answered.

"What have you got going at the moment?"

Joshua was both amused, and slightly irritated by the interrogation. "A lot of it is classified, but lately we've been measuring the dissolution rates of various atmospheric gases into the Indian Ocean," he explained.

"What are the applications of that?"

"Well, it'll give us some idea of what happens to the gases we release into the atmosphere and how it could affect oceanic processes, like phytoplankton production."

As they were speaking, a short, blonde haired scientist entered the lab, carrying a tray of what looked like seaweed samples.

"Oh, Tanya!" Kristin exclaimed, startling the woman and almost sending the samples flying. Tanya simply sighed and set them down, calmly.

"Yes?" she asked.

"This is Beth Allen, she's Doctor Briers research assistant, so will be with us for a few months. This is Tanya Rothman. She's another ecologist, so you'll have someone to swap ideas with while you're onboard."

"Oh, excellent, hi," Beth smiled and went to shake her hand, only to discover she was wearing sterile gloves.

"Uh, nice to meet you," Tanya assured. "Sorry, I have samples to take care of."

"What are you working on?" Beth asked, interested, and walked over to the lab bench, where Tanya explained her project.

Standing by the moon pool, Lucas rolled his eyes and groaned. "And I thought she was gonna be a _little_ more interesting."

"Lucas!" Kristin whispered harshly, giving him a whack on the arm.

He simply grimaced, and was relieved when Darwin showed up a few minutes later. He got suited up and plunged into the water to play a game.

Standing from the sidelines it was clear he and Darwin shared a close bond – they relished each others company. It was also then, that Beth realised it must be difficult for him to be in the company of adults all the time, and that Darwin was a good way for him to exercise his childish side.

"They're really close, huh?" she commented to Tanya.

"Yeah. They're also a pain in the ass when the ball doesn't land in the pool."

"Oh?"

"Smashed beakers, I'm saying nothing more."

"Oh," Beth said, cringing. Clearly that was a sore subject. Her ears caught onto a discussion Kristin and Joshua were having nearby.

"You're not forgetting about the medical supply inventory tonight, are you?" Kristin asked him.

"No, but I haven't been able to find anyone to witness, are you free?"

Kristin shook her head, "Not tonight, I'm meeting the Captain and Doctor Briers." She sighed in frustration. "Just track someone down and promise them an afternoon off sometime. The UEO expect the results by 1300 hours tomorrow, so it needs to be done tonight."

"It will be," he reassured. "What about keys to the supply cabinet?"

"Oh," Kristin said, digging in the pockets of her uniform and getting nowhere. "I must have left them in my lab coat. It's hanging in hydroponics on B-Deck."

"Alright."

With the conversation over, Beth turned her attention back to what Tanya was doing, and tried to pretend she'd been listening to her for the past few minutes, her mind already whirring.

***

Dinnertime soon rolled around, and Tanya offered to take Beth to the mess hall, with Kristin promising she'd be along shortly.

The food didn't look especially appetising, but with no other option, they loaded up their plates and walked to a table at the far end of the hall. On their way, they passed Commander Hitchcock, seated alone, engrossed in a news bulletin. She seemed completely unaffected by the hustle and bustle around her, and Beth wished she could capture some of that serenity for herself. Seated among a group of people, chatting loudly, soon began to grate on her, despite Tanya's attempts at pleasant conversation.

She distracted herself by observing the people coming in and out and focusing on individual groups, rather than the collective maelstrom of noise. Next to enter the hall were Chief Ortiz and Lieutenant O'Neill, who sat with Commander Hitchcock and began chatting away animatedly. Soon after that, Lieutenant Krieg joined them. It wasn't possible to home in on their conversation, but it wasn't really necessary – their body language told her everything she wanted to know. They seemed a tight-knit unit, all the senior crew onboard. She supposed they had to be, to keep everything running smoothly.

As promised, it wasn't long before Kristin had arrived and seated herself next to them.

"So," she said, somewhat breathlessly. "How do you like it?"

"Huh? What, the food? Or, things in general?" Beth asked.

"Well, both I suppose. The boat really."

"It's…big."

Kristin chuckled. "Get lost a couple of times and then you'll know your way around."

"Speaking from experience?"

"Embarrassingly, yes," she smiled. "Oh, don't look so glum, it's not all bad. I'm sure you'll quite like it here by the end. Oh, Nathan asked me to tell you that he and Bill are having dinner together and Bill says not to fuss."

Beth rolled her eyes and managed a grin.

"You two are quite close aren't you?"

"I guess."

Kristin opened her mouth to speak, but Beth got there first.

"Is there anything I should know about life onboard? I mean, the sailors all seem pretty tight, and the scientists all seem pretty tight – don't they mix?" Lieutenant Krieg had said to her earlier that it was '_good to have new faces onboard_' but she didn't see any evidence of mixing between groups.

"It's not as bad as you think," Tanya added.

Kristin just smiled. "This is the first time such a large science contingent has been stationed on a military vessel. There is some slight segregation between military and science personnel, but it's nothing to worry about. It's not malicious I assure you."

"Right, I just got the impression earlier that Commander Hitchcock wasn't that pleased to have us onboard."

"Well, I find that hard to believe," Kristin said, raising her eyebrows and placing her coffee cup back down on the table. Of all the officers, Katie wasn't one she would have singled out as displaying feelings of dissatisfaction to a visiting scientist.

"Probably just me then," Beth smiled, awkwardly. The noise level in the hall seemed to have doubled in the last few minutes and the intensity of the dozen or so conversations going on around her were deafening. Her tolerance was rapidly deteriorating, as was her interest in everything that was going on around her.

As Doctor Levin entered the hall, her mind snapped back to reality and she hurriedly stood up to excuse herself.

"Don't be silly, stay and get to know everyone," Kristin insisted, but Beth bluntly refused and turned face to walk briskly out of the door.

"Charming," Tanya commented.

"I thought she'd be a bit more sociable considering it's her first night onboard," Kristin agreed. She had been eager to speak to her about Bill. Having spent a bit of time with him throughout the afternoon, there were aspects of his health that she'd picked up on and were worrying her. She'd hoped to approach her about it, and get some answers, but now it would have to wait until another time.

***

It was lucky that he'd turned his head at the right moment; otherwise he'd never have caught her flying past in the corner of his vision. Quickly mopping his mouth, Miguel leaped from his seat and followed after her.

"Hey," he called. "Is there a fire I don't know about?" he joked.

She turned and gave him a weary smile. "Going back on shift?" she asked, completely ignoring his effort.

"Watch," he corrected her.

"What?"

"A shift on a boat is called a watch."

"Right," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "So, are you going back on _watch_?"

"Actually I'm on watch, I'm just on my meal break."

"Right," she nodded.

"So, I just wondered whether you want to start work on the WSKRS tomorrow morning. I'll need to know so I can get everything set up."

"Sure," she agreed.

They walked along in edgy silence until they reached one of the stairwells.

"Where are you headed?" Miguel asked.

"Back to my room, I think. It's been a long day. Goodnight," she smiled as she began to climb the stairs, ending the conversation abruptly.

"Night," he said, dismayed, kicking himself for needlessly correcting her. Even so, she seemed less than happy to be there, and as he headed back to the mess to face the inevitable accusations from his crewmates, he hoped she wasn't going to be so bipolar for the rest of her stay.

Once he'd re-entered the mess hall, Beth crept back down the stairs, and after stopping to get her bearings for a moment, headed away, unseen, in the opposite direction.


	2. Chapter 2

_Breathe deep. Breathe slow. Breathe quiet._

_Merge. Blend in. You're not even there._

_Two minutes._

_Focus. Concentrate. Eyes Up, alert._

_Take position. Stand ready. Anticipate._

_One minute._

_Ignore distractions. Ignore the children; smiling, laughing, playing._

_Thirty seconds._

_Final checks. Deep Breath. Eyes locked on target._

_Target in range – move._

_Ignore distractions. Ignore the children; crying, screaming, running._

_Ignore the fingers; pointing, accusing, condemning._

_Work through the struggle. Hold firm. Relish the stillness that comes after._

_Breath rasps. Realisation. Look down. Look what you've done._

_Look. Look! LOOK!_

"NOOOOO!"

***

"You gonna get things up and running this morning?" Tim asked Miguel as the two sat at breakfast before watch the following morning.

"I think so. She didn't seem very enthusiastic last night," he replied.

"She's a bit odd don't you think?"

"What do you mean?"

"Ten minutes onboard and she was taking a bite out of the Captain. Highly strung much?"

Miguel smiled. "It was a sensitive topic, something about Doctor Briers health. She's alright, I think. Like I said, I haven't really spoken to her."

"You think she's attractive?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"I'm just interested!" Tim defended, through a mouthful of eggs.

"I don't know – she's not outstanding." He lifted his head up and looked around to scan the mess. "Have you seen her this morning?"

Tim shook his head. "No, ask Levin."

Miguel swivelled round in his seat and looked over at the Doctor, who was sitting alone, reading the morning news bulletin and sipping his coffee. "Doctor Levin?"

Joshua looked up at him, questioningly.

"Have you seen Miss Allen this morning? We're meant to be starting work with the WSKRS."

"No, sorry," he answered, simply, and turned his attention back to the news.

"Maybe no one told her what time breakfast is," Tim suggested.

"She'd better show up. I'm not working a double watch just because she can't get up on time," he insisted, causing Tim to chuckle.

"Speaking of watch, we'd better hoof it," Tim suggested.

"Yeah," Miguel agreed, stacking his dishes onto his tray, and following Tim to the hatch.

"Hey, did you read the story about the chef on the _Mississippi_ in this months magazine?" Tim asked as they reached the door.

Miguel turned his head to answer and exclaimed in surprise as he barrelled into something. Instinctively he put out his arms and grasped hold of what stood in front of him. "Whoops, watch out," he stated, moving the brunette out of the way. Dressed in the standard issue science uniform, she looked like every other scientist onboard. It was only when she lifted her head up to gaze at them, looking just as surprised, that he realised who it was. "Oh, morning, Miss Allen," he greeted.

"Sorry," Beth replied flatly, rubbing her eyes and attempting to move past them. "Yeah, morning."

As she walked away to get her breakfast, Miguel and Tim simply raised their eyebrows at her less than polite greeting.

"Clearly not a morning person," Tim commented in amusement.

"Great!" Miguel groaned, not relishing the prospect of spending his watch in such _pleasant_ company.

Still sat eating his breakfast, Joshua paused, with concern, and examined an article detailing the UEO's plans to relax restrictions on resource mining in the South China Sea. The area was deemed to be of '_little relative biological value on a global scale_'. Just thinking about it made him sick. What was worse was the fact he worked for the organisation responsible.

He looked up, startled, as Beth seated herself in the space opposite with a face like thunder.

"Sleep well?" he asked.

"Not exactly," she groaned.

"You'll get used to it," he reassured.

"Everyone keeps telling me that – give it time, you'll get used to it," she ranted. "There isn't that much to get used to – I _have _been on boats before. Maybe I'm just having a bad day! And these uniforms are so unflattering. I feel like some wannabe astronaut!"

Joshua couldn't help but laugh at the outburst. He knew she'd meant every word, but it sounded so comical, he couldn't help himself.

"What?" she snapped, but soon started laughing along with him. "I am such a grouch!" she sighed. "Sorry."

"Lighten up a bit. Grouching loses its novelty very quickly under these conditions."

"I'll remember that," she said, bashfully. "What are you reading?"

He passed her the news bulletin and pointed to the article he'd just read.

"You're kidding, right? When are they going to learn?" she commented.

"I agree, but economies are still growing. The UEO is treading a very fine line. We might be more aware of what damage we're doing to the planet, but I think it'll be a good while yet before they're ready to sacrifice economic growth for biological conservation."

"Yeah, even if it's bound to come back and bite us in the…"

"I think I should get going," he nodded, drawing attention to the fact the mess was pretty much empty. Everyone had moved on to either begin or end their day.

"Right, I'll see you later."

"You should get a move on, too. Chief Ortiz was looking for you earlier. I believe you're meant to be on the bridge?"

The horrified look of realisation told him all he needed to know, and he left her to inhale her food, while he headed to his lab to begin work for the day.

***

Katie surveyed the bridge during forenoon watch, as the seaQuest continued its' slow progress north, through the Aleutian Islands and into the Bering Sea.

The Captain hadn't come on duty yet and Ford was in the launch bay over-seeing some repair work, so she was enjoying the opportunity to be in command. She knew she had it in her, so every moment at the wheel just filled her with an insatiable hunger for her own boat and her own crew. But, being on the seaQuest was a huge learning experience in itself, and gave her the chance to exercise her abilities as an HR operator, something which wouldn't happen on every boat, so she made sure to appreciate it while it lasted.

There were aspects she didn't particularly enjoy though. This research project for example, wasn't exactly her idea of fun. Even though she was a scientist herself, she often found these projects laborious and slow; perfectly demonstrated by the five months this one was going to take. She just hoped there would be plenty of hard graft to distract her during that time. At least she and Lucas had their own project to work on.

She turned as clam doors rang open, and Doctor Briers, assisted by Doctor Westphalen and Captain Bridger walked slowly onto the bridge.

"Good morning, Captain," she said, walking forward to greet them.

"Commander," Nathan nodded to her as he took his seat and claimed command of the ship. Kristin seated Bill next to him.

"No sign of Miss Allen this morning?" Nathan asked.

"No, Sir," Katie replied as she took her seat at the engineering console.

"She'll turn up," Kristin remarked happily.

"Any chance of finding us some whales this morning, Commander Hitchcock?" Bill asked.

Nathan smirked as he looked over at Katie for an answer. "What do we have, Commander?"

"No sign yet, Sir," Katie informed him.

"I wonder if I might suggest that your sensor Chief tune the WSKRS to pick up low frequency vibrations?" Bill suggested.

Nathan looked over to the sonar station, "Mr Ortiz?"

"Already on it, Sir," he said, growing ever more annoyed that Beth hadn't bothered to show up, especially after all the work he'd put in the night before to set things up.

When she eventually did appear, Katie watched her slink onto the bridge, and couldn't help but feel that all her suspicions about the young woman had been confirmed.

Although the boat was labelled as an undersea laboratory, it frustrated her how all the visiting scientists took advantage of the hospitality being offered to them. They seemed to think the crew was there simply for the purpose of their research, ignoring the fact they had other duties to perform, and that science wasn't the _only_ function of the boat; there were other things that often took priority. But, these scientists always held the view that _their_ work was the most important thing onboard, and had to continue at all costs. That selfish attitude grated on Katie a lot. You couldn't afford to be selfish on a submarine; it cost lives.

"I'm sorry," Beth started, taking a seat next to Miguel. "I didn't sleep great and lost track of time."

"That's alright, as long as we make up for it now," he quipped.

"Yeah," she agreed.

"Alright."

He decided to launch straight into teaching her the basic operations of the WSKRS, and started with a simple lesson on how to sort and interpret the data.

"Of course you'll probably be doing most of this in the lab. This system is mainly for retrieval purposes. Here's what we've managed to gather from the few whale encounters we've had." He loaded the data and set Beth the task of sorting through it.

The data from the WSKRS was complex and time consuming to analyse, giving her a whole new level of respect for him.

Once he was satisfied she had a grasp of the sorting method, he handed her control of Loner and showed her how to keep the satellite in formation with the other two. Thankfully she seemed to have defrosted slightly since breakfast and had regained a little of her enthusiasm.

However, within the first minute she was struggling to maintain it's position. He cringed as Loner escaped her control, struck out on it's own and veered away to port stern. He quickly snatched it back and tucked it under the bow, ready for her to take control again.

"Slippery little devils," she commented, raising a surprised laugh from Miguel. "So, did you always specialise in sensory analysis?" she asked, tentatively.

"Uh," he stuttered, surprised at the personal question. "I was good at Math in school, but my parents couldn't afford to send me to college. I figured this was the best way to see the world and make use of that skill," he said.

Beth nodded, thoughtfully, still concentrating on the screen in front of her. "So, you'd have gone to college if you'd had the choice?"

"The point is, I didn't," he said abruptly, "there's no point in thinking about it. I enjoy what I do." He paused, "I might have studied literature, mythology, along with mathematics."

"What kind of mythology?"

"Greek."

"So, it's the myths and legends side of things you like as opposed to the history?"

"I guess," he said, glancing at the console to check the position of the WSKRS. To his amusement, Loner was flitting around a Sea Crab.

"I can't say Greek myths interest me much. I can really get my teeth into early Scottish history though," she said.

Suddenly Katie spoke at them. "Watch your positioning, Mr Ortiz."

Beth flinched as Miguel leaned across and altered Loner's course. She looked at him, alarmed.

"What did I do?" she asked, hushed.

"Nothing, you were just a little too close. Shan doesn't like the WSKRS in his face."

She cringed as she looked over at the Commander, and could have sworn she saw a dirty glance thrown her way.

Beside her, Miguel could tell she was wound up, and assumed it was because she'd made a mistake. No one expected her WSKR control to be flawless at the first attempt, so the tension was completely unnecessary.

"Don't worry about it," he reassured. "She's had Ben reverse shuttles into cliffs. A near miss with a Sea Crab is nothing."

Although he sounded sincere, she wasn't so sure. "What's Shan doing out there?" she asked.

"We were having some problems with the dive planes. He's performing an external sweep to make sure there aren't any more visible abnormalities."

"Ah," she mused, and focused her attention back on the WSKRS, being extra careful to give Shan plenty space.

***

They hadn't had much time to settle into a routine before Miguel's shift ended, and Beth headed through to the lab to meet with Joshua.

"How were things on the bridge?" he asked.

She screwed up her nose and groaned. "Alright. I don't think Chief Ortiz was very happy with me though."

"Ask Lieutenant Krieg for an alarm clock," he suggested.

Beth looked at him with an amused grin. "I have one, thanks. This was just a first day hiccup. Shall we have a look at this software?"

Lucas had offered to customise some programmes to sort and chart the data to specific requirements as it fed into the system, saving them a lot of time so she and Joshua were consulting each other on what features they wanted in the programmes before Lucas got to work.

"Time categories would be the best way to divide the behavioural data," Joshua suggested. "Hour by hour?"

"Yeah, hour by hour will be fine. We're just doing a broad-brush behavioural survey, so anything smaller would be too detailed."

"What types of behaviour are you monitoring?" Kristin asked, as she slapped an armful of ring binders down on the workbench.

"Feeding, breeding and socialising mainly," Beth answered. "What have you got there?"

"Feeling better this morning?" Kristin quipped, referring to her rushed exit from the mess hall the night before.

"Uh, yeah, sorry. It's just been a bit much all at once."

"Yes it is, but you're going to be here for five months, so you'll have to get used to it."

Beth and Joshua exchanged a glance, remembering her rant at breakfast. "So, what have you got there?" Beth repeated.

"Health and safety protocols," Kristin wheezed. "Technically I can't let you begin work in the lab without getting you to read these, so…" she pulled out a chair and motioned Beth to sit, "let me know when you're done."

Beth raised an eyebrow. "You're kidding right? All those?"

"Yes," Kristin nodded.

Beth blew out a deep breath. "I hope Bill is getting the same punishment."

"Of course," Kristin said, winking at Joshua, and blithely patting Beth's shoulder. "How were the results of the supply inventory?" she asked Joshua.

"Good. There were only a few items unaccounted for."

"Like what?"

"A vial of iodine and a couple of doses of Temazepam."

"The vial of iodine I can account for – Miss Zandar dropped one the other day and must have forgotten to log it. How many doses of Temazepam?"

"Three."

Kristin shook her head, unable to think what could have happened to them. "I certainly haven't prescribed it to anyone. Alright, log it as missing and keep an eye on it. Life under the waves is stressful enough without thievery to contend with."

Behind them, Beth suddenly exploded into a fit of coughing, and they turned to look at her, questioningly.

"Are you alright?" Kristin asked.

"Sorry," she coughed. "Crumb from breakfast or something."

With other things to get on with, Kristin left as quickly as she had appeared, leaving Beth to pour over the manuals.

Joshua laughed to himself, watching her frustration grow with each passing minute. He finished the plan for the computer programmes and left it for her to look over later, before returning to his own work. He plucked a leaf from a plant in one of the tanks and began cutting it into even shaped squares, then placed each of them in a beaker of water.

"What are you working on?" Beth asked behind him.

"I thought you were meant to be reading," he replied, noting down a reading from a probe.

Beth grimaced. "Would _you_ be able to concentrate on this?"

"Only took me an hour," he said, moving onto the next beaker of water.

"Oh," she said, taken aback, and returned her attention back to the pages. She'd been reading for half an hour already and had barely got anywhere. The content was as dry and difficult to digest as stale bread. It stuck to the roof of her mouth and grated her tongue as she desperately tried to take some of it in – what to do in an emergency, reporting accidents, operating the oxygen valves, securing hatches. She was sure she'd been shown most of this the day before.

After he'd finished with the last beaker, and placed them all in an incubator, Joshua finally answered her question. "I'm measuring the electrolyte leakage from _Ulva _species located near outflow pipes at power stations," he explained. "We want to find out whether being in enriched water is affecting them at a cellular level."

Beth lifted her head. "Long-term project?"

"No, should be done in a couple of months. I've taken more than enough samples from 6 different power stations and I'm comparing them to samples of the plants from unpolluted sites. It's a simple enough analysis, might even be published early next year. I've got loads of other things on the go though, so I might not get that much done on it."

"Nice."

"You published anything?"

"No, not yet. I would love to get my name on a paper someday though."

"It's a real rush, I'll tell you," he admitted.

"Go on then, how many have you had your name on?" she teased.

"Fifteen in all," he beamed. "Only six of them have been my own work though. The others were as an assistant researcher."

"Got to start somewhere."

"That's right, just like that binder, keep at it!" he told her sharply.

She pursed her lips and with a frustrated sigh, looked back at the words.

Joshua simply smiled in amusement.

***

When it drew near lunchtime, Lucas breezed into the lab to find them both still working on the same things – Beth with her nose in the folder, and Joshua taking readings at regular intervals.

"You guys decided what you want me to do?" he asked.

Beth looked at him apologetically. "Sorry, Lucas, I have to read these health and safety manuals before I can do anything else."

Lucas screwed up his face in confusion and looked to Joshua. "What health and safety manuals? Has she…?" he stopped abruptly as Joshua shook his head.

"Has she what?" Beth asked.

"Oh, nothing, so…are you two coming for lunch?" he asked, hopefully.

"Yes," Beth said, eagerly snapping shut the thick ring binder.

"I'll be there in a bit, I need to keep this going," Joshua said.

"Alright," Lucas said, as he and Beth head towards the mess hall.

***

Mid-way through the afternoon, Lucas returned to the lab to find much the same scene as he had before. He immediately burst into a laugh and looked sympathetically at Beth, who was still reading through the manuals.

"Oh, come on, this is bordering a little on cruelty don't you think?" he exclaimed. "How long were you going to let her carry on with it?"

Joshua looked at his watch. "Another two hours, maximum."

Beth looked at them, slightly spaced out in appearance after trying to take in so much information over the last five hours. "What do you mean?"

Lucas walked over and turned the folder to the first page. "Read the last line," he said, pointing to the words.

Beth studied them carefully. "Oh you have GOT to be kidding me!" she snapped. The last line of words read, '_Unless you are the Chief Science Officer, you are not required to read past the first ten pages of this manual_.'

"What a waste of time!" she bellowed. "Do you pull that stunt on every researcher that comes aboard?"

Joshua chuckled, "Yeah, sorry. It's Westphalen's way of finding out who pays attention."

"It's just a joke," Lucas added.

"A joke? Ha ha! It's a laugh and a half alright!" she shouted, throwing the binder to the deck. "Do you know how much I could have got done during that time? I don't know how anything works around here – I already feel like an idiot in front of the crew for turning up late! I could have used that time to catch up!"

"Hey!" Joshua interjected, stepping between her and Lucas. "Don't take it out on him. You've got no right to speak to either of us in that tone."

"No right? After that stunt!?"

"Look," Joshua said, gripping her by the arms and sitting her down. "Calm down and don't take it so seriously. Remember what I told you about grouching."

Lucas watched as the anger faded from her eyes and was left with a look of regret mingled with dejection. "Guess I failed the test then," she mumbled.

Joshua smiled. "We won't tell if you don't, right, Lucas?"

"Right," Lucas agreed. "How about you show me what you want in these programmes?" he asked, wanting to find a way to lighten the mood.

"Good idea," she agreed, and for the next couple of hours, talked Lucas through how she wanted the data arranged, finding his innocent nature a soothing tonic against her own ever darkening mood.

***

"How harsh?" Ben asked Miguel, as they walked to mess that evening.

Miguel was in the process of explaining how Beth had accidentally come too close to Shan with the WSKRS and had taken Katie's warning way too personally.

"Not harsh, exactly. I just think she took it the wrong way."

Ben breathed a laugh. "That's no surprise. She's not the easiest person to interpret."

"I guess," Miguel grumbled.

"Look, Ortiz, Katie has never had fluffy feelings about having scientists onboard, you know that. It's nothing personal. She'll just have to deal with it."

"She just seems so sensitive," he moaned.

"Who? Beth or Katie?"

"Beth. She's been up and down like a yo-yo since she got here. What annoys me is that she seems like a nice enough person, if she'd just lighten up!" he grumbled.

As they entered the mess, he picked out her and Lucas sitting together at a table towards the far end of the hall. Lucas didn't hesitate to wave them over.

"Well, we'll soon see whether the storm clouds have lifted," Ben commented.

"So what meaningless activity have you filled your hours with today then, Ben?" Lucas asked with a grin, as the two men sat themselves down.

"I resent that, Wolenczak," Ben quipped back. "What have you been doing that's so worthwhile?"

"Oh, you know, saving the world," he chuckled as the two men rolled their eyes.

"So Beth, how are you settling in?" Ben asked.

"Ok I guess," she answered through a mouthful of salad. "Ask me again in a week."

"I hear things went well with the WSKRS this morning," he teased.

Beth looked suspiciously at Miguel, knowing they had to have been talking about her. "Very funny," she quipped. "Commander Hitchcock certainly didn't think so."

"She's harmless don't worry…" Ben trailed off as he tuned into a discussion at another table. "Lucas, I think someone just mentioned apple pie, let's strike while the custard is hot," he said, as he and Lucas quickly made their way over to investigate.

While they were absent, Miguel took the opportunity to continue the discussion, and hopefully reassure her that she hadn't really done anything wrong. "Listen, don't sweat it about this morning – you didn't even hit anything. So just forget about it."

"Ok," she said, slightly exasperated.

"No one's worried about it, alright?"

"Alright, I know," she sighed, and he gazed sternly at her, not pleased with her manner. After all, he was only trying to set her at ease. "I'm sorry," she said, setting her head in her hands and sighing again, loudly. "My head is about to spin off my shoulders, there's so much to take in."

"Give it a few more days, you'll get used to it."

She snapped her head up to look at him and he recoiled, not sure what she was about to say, or how she was about to say it.

"That's about the sixth time someone has said that to me today," she explained.

"That's because it's the truth," he said, with a laugh.

"Yeah," she agreed, reluctantly. "I'm just expecting too much, huh?" she said with a smile.

He nodded, his heart warmed at having extracted a smile. He knew it had been lingering in there somewhere. "I'm back on watch at 2000, if you want to keep going over things with the WSKRS?"

Beth's smile widened. "Yeah, that would be great, actually," she agreed.

"How's the motion sickness?" he asked.

"Getting there slowly. The moon walking isn't so obvious," she joked. "So, what have you been doing with your day?"

"This and that. Wrote some emails, went to the gym."

"I can't imagine there's that much to keep you entertained while you're onboard."

"You get used to it. We rely on each other for entertainment a lot. There are a lot of practical jokers."

"So I've noticed," she said, violently spearing a potato.

"What do you mean?"

She proceeded to tell him about the prank with the health and safety manuals, and much to her annoyance, he started laughing.

"I didn't find it funny!" she exclaimed. "Do you know how much work I could have got done during that time?"

"No, no, I'm sorry," he said, swallowing his food. "Is that what's bugging you? I thought it was just that thing with the WSKRS."

"Well, it didn't help."

He continued to laugh. "Didn't Lucas tell you he fell for the same prank?"

Beth looked at him with a blank face.

"Guess not," he cringed.

She let rip at Lucas as soon as he sat down. "How come you didn't tell me you fell for it too?"

"You think I'm going to admit to that?" he looked around, making sure no one had heard.

"Course not," Ben interjected. "Wouldn't want anything to ruin your 'cool' image, would we?" he joked.

Lucas glared at him for a few seconds before he, Miguel and Beth burst into laughter, with Lucas nodding along, and rapidly turning the conversation to other subjects while they continued their meal.

***

"…and she just _glared_ at me, and said, '_You find this amusing?_'" Nathan laughed, retelling the story of how he and Kristin had first been introduced.

Beside him, Bill also laughed heartily, while Kristin pursed her lips, not so keen on being painted in such a witch-like manner.

"I was trying to make a point, and all you could do was stand there and laugh!" she defended, and took another sip of coffee. The three of them had just finished having dinner together and were now getting better acquainted. With similar personalities, the banter was flowing back and forth quite nicely.

"You know, Jonathan's pretty cool-headed, but somehow you always manage to wind each other up," Nathan commented.

"It's not my fault he's so narrow minded sometimes," she quipped.

"Well, Captain, you've certainly got your hands full with this one," Bill joked.

"And don't I know it?" he replied. He turned his head as a knock came at the door behind them. "Come in," he called.

They all watched as Beth tentatively poked her head round the door. "Hi," she said. "I was just trying to find Bill."

"Come on in," Nathan told her. "How are you finding things?"

"Beth, I _am_ sorry about the manuals," Kristin interrupted.

Beth waved her hand in dismissal. "That's ok. I blew my top at Joshua and then got over it," she admitted, rather ashamedly.

"You look tired," Bill told her, concerned.

"I'm alright," she insisted.

"Might explain the temper," Bill continued.

"Bill!" she exclaimed quietly, while Nathan and Kristin laughed to themselves. "I can't stay," she told them. "I'm heading back up to the bridge to do some work with Chief Ortiz."

"You can learn a lot from him," Kristin stated, with a slight hint.

"Just keep the horns retracted," Bill teased.

Beth rolled her eyes and nodded, humouring him, though she knew he was right. If she didn't make more of an effort things would just get harder for her. "You'd better be taking care of yourself," she told him. "Don't let him out of your sight. He likes a sneaky break-dance when people aren't watching. Not good for the hips," she joked and walked back out the door, leaving them laughing.

***

After getting her to open up a little earlier, Miguel was a little more relaxed about working with Beth again that evening, and was even more relieved when she arrived on time.

In command at the time, Katie turned as Beth walked onto the bridge and went over to greet her. "Miss Allen, what can I do for you this evening?"

"I've arranged to do some work with Mr Ortiz, if that's alright?"

"Of course," she nodded with a smile, before stepping out of the way to allow Beth to walk past.

"I swear that _woman_ hates me," Beth sighed as she sat down next to Miguel. "All she has to do is look at me and I feel _this_ big," she said, demonstrating with her thumb and first finger.

Miguel simply smiled. "She's just doing her job," he said, deciding not to address her imaginary concerns any further, instead concentrating on showing her how to feed course data from navigation straight into the guidance computers onboard the WSKRS.

"It saves a lot of time," he explained. "Means I can concentrate on other things."

He showed her the course the seaQuest was planning to take north, and allowed her to try feeding the information into Loner.

"I didn't think there were any humpbacks this far north," he stated.

"There weren't, until about ten years ago when sightings in the Chukchi and Beaufort Seas began to increase," she explained. "What we think has happened, is that with global warming, zooplankton distribution has pushed northwards, and the humpbacks have followed their food source. Wherever the zooplankton goes, the fish and the whales follow. I'm really looking forward to using these babies to see just how much their range has changed."

Miguel laughed. "Now who's on personal terms with the equipment?" he joked, and she laughed along with him. He was pleased to see a hint of sparkle in her eyes as she spoke about the project. "What made you decide to take part in it?" he asked.

"Well, I'd just graduated and I had no idea what to do with myself, so when Bill suggested it, there was no way I was going to turn him down."

"Have you been working together long?"

"Just over four years. He was my advisor of studies all through my degree, and I helped out with his research over all the summer breaks."

"So you know each other pretty well, huh?"

"Yeah, quite possibly too well," she smiled. "Shall we move on?"

Miguel nodded, and moved onto showing her how to move the WSKRS around a stationary object, which was difficult considering the seaQuest was in motion. Once or twice, she came close to a near collision, but luckily it remained un-noticed by Hitchcock.

"You were saying earlier that you liked Scottish history, right?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered, her tongue between her teeth, concentrating on the satellites' minute movements.

"What do you like about it?"

"I guess it's all the mystery," she answered. "Those cultures built such monumental structures, like the stone circles, and we'll never really know what they were for, we can only hypothesise. But it was obvious that they had enormous respect for the world around them. I like that part of their culture."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. It's the same with the Greeks. Their stories are just so…"

"…magical?" Beth suggested.

"Well, yeah, but I was looking for a more macho word," he said quietly, causing Beth to chuckle. Momentarily distracted, he failed to notice the screen flashing in front of him. He jumped as it eventually drew his attention.

"What is it?" Beth asked.

"Mother's picking something up," he told her, listening carefully to identify the sound. "Commander," he said, swivelling in his seat to face her. "One of the WSKRS is picking up some biologic disturbance."

"On speaker," Katie ordered.

Miguel watched Beth with a smile as her eyes suddenly lit up in recognition. The faint sound of humpback vocalisations streamed through the speakers.

"Looks like we found our first group," he told her. "Can you tell anything about them?"

She listened intently to the sounds coming through her headset. "I really can't say. Bill's the expert on this."

Katie looked over to them. "Try to locate the source of the calls, Mr Ortiz, and feed the data into navigation."

"Aye, Sir."

Beth was excitedly recording the sounds and making notes in her workbook.

"Miss Allen," Katie spoke in her direction. "What time would you like to begin recording with the WSKRS tomorrow morning?"

"Uh," Beth stumbled, part with thought and part intimidation. Hitchcock always seemed so confident it was hard not to stumble under her gaze. "How about ten thirty?"

Katie nodded. "I'll leave a note for the commanding officer on the forenoon watch."

"Thank you," Beth replied.

For the remainder of the watch, Miguel watched her with amusement, as she bombarded him with questions about how to analyse the sounds coming through their headsets.

"Isn't it the most amazing sound?" she asked.

He paused, not sure what to say. She was obviously quite absorbed in it, but he'd been listening to similar sounds for years and hadn't really thought of them as amazing. Maybe he was just too used to over-analysing them. "I guess," he said, simply.

Shortly after midnight, they walked off the bridge and he caught her looking back over her shoulder at Commander Hitchcock.

"I still, really, don't think she likes me," she insisted.

Miguel sighed, "You're over-reacting," he said flatly. He felt for her though. Getting used to a military environment couldn't be easy.

"Everything on this boat is controlled. We have protocols for everything because we have to maintain order. It keeps the boat running smoothly. It's difficult to get a handle on, but you'll learn," he said reassuringly, knowing he was probably repeating what she'd already heard, but hoping it would help anyway. "You heading for bed?"

"I think I'll drop by and see Bill first."

"I'll walk you."

"No, it's ok, you don't have to."

"It's no trouble," he insisted, directing her along the corridor.

They walked along in companionable silence until they reached Bill's door. Beth knocked, but received no reply.

"Just go in," Miguel said.

Beth pushed on the door slowly, cringing as the pressure seal hissed loudly. She and Miguel quietly walked down the stairs into the room where Doctor Briers lay sound asleep in his bed. Beth affectionately tucked the covers under his chin. Both she and Miguel looked up as they heard shuffling in the doorway, to find the Captain and Kristin watching them. Beth gave Bill a last look to make sure he was alright, before they both left him in peace and closed the door behind them.

"Captain," Miguel said, standing to attention.

"At ease. Have you been making sure our guest is seen to, Mr Ortiz?" Nathan asked.

"I've been doing my best, Sir," he replied.

Kristin walked forward and put her hands on Beth's shoulders, frightening her slightly with the gesture. "He's been talking our ears off all day," Kristin laughed. "Beth, sweetheart," she said softly. "How long have things been this bad?"

Miguel started, shocked and confused, while Beth stuttered, and pulled away from Kristin's grasp. "What?"

"None of us have failed to notice how much of the work you're doing on the project, when you're only meant to be an assistant."

"Bill isn't capable of running around the ship," Beth insisted, defensively.

Kristin sighed. "I'm not a physician for nothing, darling. His dementia is very noticeable."

Once again, Miguel started in surprise, while Nathan looked on knowingly. He and Kristin had been waiting for the right moment to approach Beth for the last day.

"You don't know what you're talking about!" she snapped.

"Hey, take it easy," Nathan said quietly.

Beth's shoulders slumped. "He usually only struggles at night," she said, flicking her eyes between Nathan and Kristin. "He's still capable of doing a lot," she defended, and paused, knowing she still hadn't answered the question. "We've known for two years now."

Nathan stepped forward. "It's very commendable, what you're doing for him, but it's also a lot of responsibility for a young woman to take on," he paused. "I hope that, now we are aware of the situation, you'll feel able to ask either myself or Doctor Westphalen for help should you need it."

"Is this why you're so uptight?" Kristin asked, tentatively. Beth rolled her eyes and was about to open her mouth in protest when Kristin cut her off. "Oh, come on, we've all noticed it."

"Part of it, yeah," she admitted. "We knew that being in such a restricted environment might make it more difficult for him to cope. Is there anything you can do for him, without him knowing?" she asked Kristin.

"I can try to assess how far his condition has progressed."

"I'd appreciate that," Beth said, turning to the door, behind which her mentor slept on, lost in his dreams, probably the only place that made sense to him.

"We'll leave you for now," Nathan said, motioning Kristin away down the corridor. She laid a gentle hand on Beth's cheek before she left, leaving behind a reassuring patch of warmth.

Startled at the new development, Miguel simply watched in silence as Beth gazed down at the deck, not knowing what to say. He'd never expected to find something like this in her back-story, but in a way, it explained why she was so sensitive to the attitudes of the crew.

"I think we should go too," she said, downbeat.

Miguel held his hand out, motioning for her to go ahead, and they walked along in what was now a companionable silence. After a while, he spoke.

"I'm sorry to hear about all this."

Beth looked up. "There's not much I can do about it."

"Doesn't make it any easier though."

"No," she paused, "He's basically been my guardian for the last 4 years, so it's hard to see him slowly fading away."

"Sorry, I don't know what to say."

"Listening is fine," she smiled.

"Does anyone else know?"

"No, just me and Bill, though I don't really know how much he knows anymore."

"Why keep it a secret? He could get help."

"He doesn't want help. He's one of the most prolific ecologists of the 21st century. He wants to go out doing what he does best. I don't want him to be remembered as a fading geriatric."

"Would you prefer me not to say anything to the rest of the crew?"

Beth looked at him, "Thank you," she said simply, as they arrived at her door.

"Chin up," he said, lightly tapping her on the arm. "Goodnight."

"Night."

She closed her door behind her, feeling slightly lighter of heart.

***

_Beautiful._

_Look at the pretty pink dress and pretty pink shoes, and watch how she dances._

_I love my doll._

_But quiet, don't tell, secret._

_Change her shoes, and now she's a princess…with no prince._

_I can make her dance – she's going to be a ballerina._

_Someone coming - now footsteps, door handle._

_Hide the princess ballerina._

_Smile. Nothing to hide._

_Still one shoe. One pretty pink shoe on the floor._

_No! Nothing to hide!_

_Stand up!_

_Watch – don't close your eyes!_

_Watch as they take princess ballerina._

_Eyes burn and lip trembles._

_I don't understand._

_Dress falls in shreds. Shoes melt in the fire._

_I want my doll._

_Tears now – rapid and fast._

_A pain soon follows._

_No tears – tears not allowed! PAIN._

_No toys – toys not allowed! PAIN._

_More punishment next._

_Cry on the inside, never outside._

_No weakness – weakness not allowed! PAIN._

_Goodbye princess ballerina._

_I loved you._


	3. Chapter 3

_seaQuest DSV 4600 – I  
__Bering Sea,  
__26th August 2018  
__60N 55' 49.56", 173W 50' 51.56"_

The WSKRS began recording on schedule the following morning, under the supervision of Captain Bridger and Commander Ford.

Though they were able to pick up the calls of the humpbacks overnight, they still hadn't found their location. Their calls travelled notoriously long distances through the water, making it difficult to track them down.

The recording started without a hitch, mainly due to the fact Miguel had volunteered to do two hours extra watch time to get things up and running, a fact Beth was extremely grateful for.

Miguel, himself, had noticed a remarked change in her behaviour towards him now that he knew about the situation with Bill. She'd apologised repeatedly for her short temper over the past few days and made sure to tell him how appreciative she was of the work he was putting in – which meant a lot to him.

Bill had come to the bridge earlier to help them identify the whales making the calls. He could identify five individual calls, but wasn't sure whether they were travelling in a group, or separately. He was also able to identify them as being part of the eastern north Pacific population.

"He's like a dictionary," Kristin commented, as they listened to him.

They all continued listening to the haunting halls streaming through the speakers, as he made his assessment. For Miguel, the fact he was able to tell one call from another was impressive enough.

"How do you think the women feel?" Bill joked. "They use the calls to decide which male is best to mate with."

Miguel scoffed. "All that noise would just give me a headache," he said, giving Bill and Beth a laugh.

Bill had left soon after, going to the lab so Levin could show him the finished programmes for recording the data. Kristin would also be there, keeping a close eye on him, much to Beth's relief.

They were still recording the calls when Hitchcock had come on watch. Ford nodded to her and waited until she took her station before walking over and leaning down to her.

"I've been listening to these squeaks and squawks for two hours. Please tell me there's something broken in the engine room," he muttered, hushed, into Katie's ear, causing her to break into a smile.

"Not that I could find," she replied, and the two of them shared a grin.

It wasn't the ideal situation for either of them, but it was work. '_And on the seaQuest, something always happens eventually_,' Jonathan thought to himself.

"Sir, I'm picking up a distress signal," O'Neill suddenly called out. "From an island in the Aleutians."

Ford and Hitchcock snapped their heads up, eyes sparkling with the anticipation of some action.

"Any details?" Bridger asked.

"Hold on a second, Sir, I'm intercepting a call from a nearby military outpost."

Everyone watched, as O'Neill listened intently to the information he was being fed. "Sir, they're saying that a section of the Okmok Caldera has entered an eruption phase, and there are civilians cut off on the north side of Umnak Island. The military have tried an air rescue but the choppers can't get close – the ash cloud is too thick. We're the nearest vessel. They're asking for our assistance."

"How far away is Umnak?" Bridger asked Ford.

"About 600 miles south-southeast of us," he answered.

Bridger turned to look at Beth, who was watching the goings on with wide eyes. He sighed with disappointment at having to disrupt the project so early on. He, himself, had been enjoying the switch from military to scientific atmosphere on the boat over the last couple of days, but on this occasion they really had no choice but to provide assistance. "I'm sorry, Miss Allen, but the recording will have to take a back seat for now. Turn the boat around, Commander, and take us to Umnak, speed at maximum."

"Aye, Sir. Helm; bring us around, relative bearing 128 degrees; 53 degrees north, 32 minutes, 25.1 seconds; 168 degrees west, 45 minutes. Commander Hitchcock, put us at condition four. Miss Allen, if you could leave the bridge, please," Ford said with well-rehearsed accuracy, as he fired off orders in quick succession.

"Of course," Beth said, standing up from her station. "Good luck," she told Miguel.

Katie watched her with surprise. In past instances, when the seaQuest was called away to other matters, the scientists had caused an uproar at the disruption of their research, but not Beth. She calmly and quietly walked off the bridge, closing the clam doors behind her without so much as a word, leaving the crew to deal with the situation. In fact her humble exit left Katie more than a little impressed, and with the lingering feeling that perhaps she'd misjudged the woman after all. She selected the correct channel and spoke to Jonathan directly through her headset. "What was it you said about volcanic islands?"

Jonathan smirked, "At least I'm not _on _this one. Thank God Raleigh's not still onboard."

"I'll tell you one thing though; this does kinda demonstrate why his buoy would be worthwhile."

"Yeah," he nodded in agreement, before turning his attention to business.

***

While the rescue attempt was ongoing, Kristin, along with the rest of the science personnel, remained out of the way. With Beth in the lab working alongside Bill, it gave Kristin the chance to observe his natural behaviour and make a more thorough assessment of his mental status.

His short-term memory seemed particularly affected. One minute he'd be asking for a certain change to the data programmes, only to change his mind the next. In the end, Beth's patience couldn't take any more and she diverted his attention by asking his advice about the attitude of certain military personnel onboard.

"They aren't all bad," Bill insisted.

"No, but the rest of the crew take their example from the Commanders. How are we meant to get any work done if they won't respect us?"

"I haven't noticed anything, Beth," Bill answered simply.

"Thanks, you're so helpful," she teased.

"I don't think Commander Hitchcock would be disrespecting you on purpose," Lucas added.

Bill looked at him and nodded. "The boy is right."

"I swear I've seen her glaring at me!"

"Stop being so melodramatic!" Bill ordered, much to Lucas' amusement, and silencing Beth straightaway. She knew when she'd been outwitted. "Besides, you could spend your whole life getting people to respect what you do, but never achieve anything worthwhile. Stop focusing on what other people think, and try to remember what a breakthrough this project will be if we get it right," he told her.

Surrounded by so much wisdom, Beth didn't have much choice but to agree. Both Lucas and Kristin were amused at how quickly Bill could bring Beth down to earth.

Kristin was called away later through the afternoon to check over the stranded family as they came aboard, leaving the other three in the lab, with Joshua and Tanya watching over them.

As nice as the whale calls were to listen to, Beth didn't really know what to do with them, so left Bill to organise and catalogue them, while she helped Joshua with his project. He needed to take regular measurements over a three-hour period, so having an extra pair of hands was much appreciated.

"Do you have a spreadsheet I can put these into, or do you just want me to note them on paper?" she asked.

"Just note them on paper for now, and I'll show you the spreadsheet in a minute. I've kind of got my hands full right now," he breathed a laugh, with his hands plunged in the water tank, carefully holding a light meter in position.

"Does this happen often?" she asked everyone in general.

"Quite a lot, yeah," Lucas answered, hovering around them all.

"We're probably the best equipped sub-sea vessel in the water, so we're the obvious choice if anything goes wrong – anywhere," Joshua explained.

"It certainly makes things…interesting," Tanya added, groaning with the effort of carrying another tray of samples into the lab.

"Do you need a hand?" Beth asked.

"No, I got it," she insisted, setting them down and walking away again to retrieve more equipment from next door.

"How do you think Darwin will like being in the company of the humpbacks?" Beth asked Lucas.

"Oh, I don't know. I think he, uh, might get a little intimidated," he said, throwing a pen up in the air and attempting to catch it.

"Watch out!" Joshua yelled and Lucas turned just in time to avoid Tanya, walking through with a beaker of water.

"Like I said, smashed beakers," she commented, leaving them all laughing at the near collision.

Bill meanwhile, sat watching them with a chuckle. He'd known Beth for almost five years, but had very rarely seen her enjoying a moment of laughter. It was both refreshing and reassuring. Extremely dedicated, with a fine attention to detail and an insatiable desire to learn, she'd stood out from day one, but not just for those reasons. She had a quick temper and constantly felt inadequate next to her peers, so was constantly seeking to prove herself. He'd helped her with that and with several other issues that plagued her mind, and over the years their relationship had grown to the extent that they now depended on each other more than they realised, especially now with the development of his illness.

The frequency of his incoherent moments frustrated him, as did the constant feeling of confusion, as if his personality was being slowly buried and replaced, and all he could do was look out from the inside with no control over his own life. He wasn't sure how much of him would be left by the end of this project, and he had discussed this in depth with Captain Bridger over a few nights. He and Beth had already covered the topic, and he saw no need to alarm her further with his thoughts, especially when she seemed to be settling in better among the personalities aboard the boat. For a second he couldn't for the life of him remember where he'd put the keys to the house, or where he'd parked the car, but then he shook his head, struggling to clear it of the recurring fog, to focus back on the scene in front of him. But still, he couldn't remember where those house keys were – how would he get back into his hotel room without them…?

***

"Did you see his face when the Captain suggested _he_ man the launch to the island? – Sheer terror," Tim laughed later, as he and Miguel made their way to mess after the rescue. Both had found Jonathan's reaction hilarious.

"Classic," Miguel agreed, as they joined the line of hungry crew.

"So is it just the lack of sleep, or do you really not like it here?" Tanya asked Beth as they waited in line ahead of the men.

"It's just the sleep I think," she admitted. "It's not the boat, the boat's amazing. I'm not this snappy, really," she smiled.

"Right, I believe you," Tanya teased.

As they reached the front of the line, they both looked aghast at the '_critter fritters_' on offer.

"What is it?" Beth asked, now seated and prodding the fried meat with her fork.

"One of three protein products, none of which will be natural." Tanya cut a bit off and placed it in her mouth, making over-enthusiastic chewing motions. "Hmmm, tastes like chicken," she joked, raising a warm laugh from Beth. "Tell you the truth, I love it when we get called away on these things."

"Really? I thought it would just be a pain for your research."

"Well, yeah it is, but where else will I get the chance to be on the front line – not just scientifically, but politically too?" she said, leaning closer, and speaking in a softer tone, "and don't you just love the men running around in uniform?" she winked.

Beth exploded into laughter, completely caught off guard by the comment.

At the next table, Miguel looked over, relishing the unusual sight of Beth so relaxed and enjoying a joke.

"Guess she does have a sense of humour," Tim teased.

Not long after, Tanya excused herself, needing to make regular checks on her experiment, and left Beth sitting alone.

Tim could see Miguel toying with the idea of inviting her over to join them, and realised he was probably waiting for permission. "Just go ahead and ask her already," he laughed.

Miguel scowled at him, but it was the answer he'd been waiting for, so he leaned over slightly and got Beth's attention. "Hey," he smiled. "Why don't you join us?"

"Sure," she agreed, enthusiastically, and moved herself over to sit next to him. "How did the rescue go?" she asked.

"Good," Tim answered. "We got the civilians to dry land. They were a little traumatised, but no serious injuries."

"How did you get them off the island?"

"We positioned seaQuest offshore, then sent in a launch to pick them up," Miguel explained.

"Were you on the launch?"

"No," Miguel laughed. "I, um, I don't really get to do things like that."

"Oh," she cringed, sensing she may have touched on a sore subject.

They all stopped as Katie arrived and took a seat with them. "What you talking about?"

"I was just asking about the rescue," Beth explained, suddenly wishing she were anywhere but under the Commanders' gaze.

"Shan said the ash cloud was something else," Katie told them.

"Yeah, they reckon more than one of the volcanic cones have erupted. Could be worse than the 1997 eruption, and that one lasted for eight months," Tim added.

"So you'll have to keep a close eye on it then?" Beth assumed, slightly worried that if the volcano continued causing problems, the project could end up being a non-starter.

"Probably not. Now they're aware of the problem, the Alaska Volcano Centre will keep the Coastguard on alert. They only called us in because it erupted without warning," Tim reassured.

"Don't worry, you should still be able to start the recording tomorrow," Katie reassured.

"Don't start!" Beth barked, unexpectedly. "Do you _really_ think I'd have put those people's lives at risk to record some whale singing?" she asked, standing up.

"Take it easy, I didn't say that," Katie said, calmly.

"Just get off my back, that's not all I think about!" Beth snapped, before making a dramatic exit and barrelling into Kristin on her way out.

"Oh!" Kristin exclaimed, stumbling backwards and looking at the others, questioningly. They simply shrugged, as confused as she was, all except Miguel who sat thoughtfully, thinking he knew what was wrong.

All along the corridor she swore she could hear their voices – condemning, chiding, criticising, accusing – and it followed her all the way back to her room until she slammed shut the door behind her, and sunk to the floor in relief to be away from it all – only she never would – it followed her everywhere.

***

News of Miss Allen's outburst didn't take long to reach Nathan, especially because Kristin had witnessed the aftermath.

He could understand her concern for Bill's health was bound to be praying on her mind, and a submarine wasn't exactly the easiest environment to adapt to, but still – she was a professional who had signed onto this project of her own free will, and he would not stand for anyone treating his crew in such a disrespectful manner.

It was his intention to speak to her about it sooner rather than later, but it seemed it would have to wait, as alarm sirens began blaring throughout the boat.

"What's going on, Commander?" he asked through the comms system.

"Security alert, Captain," Jonathan informed him.

"Internal or external?"

"Internal. I've got Crocker on it. I'll update you as soon as I know anything," Jonathan signed off, keeping the line free for Crocker to contact him.

"It's in the med-bay, Commander. We're almost there," Crocker informed him. He led his men along the corridor and positioned them on either side of the door. Someone had left the seal open and was inside, making a lot of noise searching for something. He nodded, and they all filed in, filling the room with torchlight, all focused on the same point.

"Freeze, military police!" Crocker bellowed. "Turn around and keep your hands in clear view," he ordered.

The person ahead of them did as instructed, raising their hands and tentatively turning to reveal themselves.

"Miss Allen?"


	4. Chapter 4

"She's addicted to _what_?" Jonathan asked, incredulously.

"Temazepam," Nathan repeated, not just for Jonathan's benefit. His entire senior staff gazed back at him in disbelief – much the same reaction he had experienced about an hour beforehand.

"It's a drug prescribed to relieve sleeping disorders," Kristin explained. "Highly addictive, so without the correct supervision, patients can become highly dependent on it to live a normal life. You see, the more they use it, the less it works, so they have to take more and more of it to achieve the same effect. It's a vicious cycle."

"But one that can be broken?" Jonathan asked.

"With the correct treatment, yes," Kristin replied.

"What is she taking it for?" Katie asked; intrigued to know what could drive someone to that degree of desperation. Miguel, meanwhile, sat quietly, soaking in and slowly processing the facts before jumping to any conclusions.

Kristin and Nathan exchanged a glance, knowing the answer might not please them. "Nightmares," she told them.

"Nightmares?" Katie said in disbelief. "We all have nightmares, Doc."

"Yes, but we don't all have nightmares every time we close our eyes, and with such intensity that we wake up in cold sweats and are afraid to even attempt going to sleep," Kristin blurted, defensively. She'd seen the exposed shell Beth had become in the hours after being found out and was determined to protect her from any scorn. She'd already suffered enough wrath from both her own and Nathan's mouths, and was more than ready to begin repenting for what she'd done.

The pregnant silence exposed the crews' need for more explanation.

"From what we gather, Miss Allen suffered a rather traumatic childhood," Nathan explained. "We've been given no particulars, but it's been enough to cause her severe mental trauma, and that's what's causing the nightmares."

Bill had been just as aghast as they were, upon finding out about his assistants' deceit. He had been aware for some time that she was plagued by nightmares, but had no idea that they had driven her to such extreme lengths in an attempt to find relief.

"_I'm disappointed," he confessed, "and embarrassed. But I can assure you, fiery as she may be, she has never done anything like this before. I can only apologise."_

"_It's not you who should be apologising," Kristin had barked. "She sat there while Doctor Levin and I were discussing those missing drugs and it had been her all along."_

"_I know, but getting mad with her isn't going to solve anything," Nathan soothed._

"_I'm not mad," she insisted. "I'm like Bill, I'm disappointed, and I feel rather helpless."_

"_Think how I feel. I've been around her all this time and not noticed a thing. I know my mind's not what it used to be, but I should have seen something."_

"_Don't beat yourself up about it," Kristin reassured. "She's obviously very good at hiding things."_

"So, how long has she been on the pills?" Miguel asked.

"We don't know exactly," Kristin sighed. "Less than a year, probably about six months – about the time of her final year exams. Doctor Briers wasn't even aware of it."

"And she was prescribed these?" Jonathan asked, trying to get his head around it all.

"It doesn't seem so. There's nothing in her medical records. She was self-medicating," Kristin sighed.

"They're controlled drugs – how could she have got hold of stuff like that?" Katie asked.

"She's been on a college campus – you can get anything if you ask the right people," Ben commented.

"Is this why her behaviour has been so erratic? I mean, she practically blew my head off earlier," she commented.

"Yes, it's the most likely reason," Kristin agreed.

"The stress, as well as the exhaustion from not sleeping, means she won't have been thinking straight," Nathan added.

Another very pregnant pause followed, the same as the one he and Kristin had shared right after Kristin had asked him what he planned to do.

"_I really don't know this time, Kristin," he'd admitted._

_She gazed at him, sympathetically, knowing that while he felt compassion for Beth's plight, the best interests of his crew and his boat would always have to come first. "Let me make a suggestion."_

"_I'm all ears."_

"_I'll help her through the withdrawal."_

"_You will?" he asked, doubtfully, eyebrows raised. "You know how much work that will take?"_

"_I have a medical degree, Nathan, yes I know the amount of work involved."_

"_Why?"_

She sighed and directed his attention over to where Bill was sitting next to Beth, comforting her, and trying to get her to open up. "Nathan, these are two people who are lost, and the only things holding them together are their work, and each other. If we separate them from that, they'll fall apart. If they stay, they'll have each other's support. And besides – the UEO has forked out millions for this project. We can't let it go to waste."

"I know you all may not agree with my decision, but I have decided to let Miss Allen remain onboard," Nathan announced.

"You can't be serious!" Ford laughed.

"He's very serious," Kristin defended. "I have agreed to supervise Beth's withdrawal from the drug." She paused to allow the information to sink in. "We're going to reduce her dosage, slowly, over the next couple of weeks, and then wean her off completely."

"You think that'll work?" Tim asked, unsure about whether it was wise so have someone so unstable working among them.

"Because she's been on them for a relatively short period of time, the withdrawal should be fairly quick, so with all going well she should be able to leave this boat clean," Kristin answered.

"She could get clean in a rehab centre up world," Jonathan commented.

"If we shipped her off somewhere, there'd be no guarantee that she'd stick to the programme," Miguel added. "She could just start medicating again."

"Exactly, Mr Ortiz," Kristin agreed.

As much as she wanted to believe it could work, for the sake of Beth's future, Katie had to side with Jonathan. "But that's not our responsibility."

"No, but this project is, and it can't be completed without those two onboard," Nathan said.

Jonathan still wasn't convinced. He knew how much time and money had been ploughed into the project, but that still didn't mean keeping a junkie onboard was right. "What if she's not capable of doing the work?"

"She will be, I assure you," Kristin said, confidently. "If anything, a more strict and regimented atmosphere will help her maintain discipline and make sure she's not tempted to go back on them once she leaves."

"We have a chance here to give someone a new lease of life, therefore I want you all to be prepared to keep an eye on her – and not just a suspicious one. You've all earned your ranks because you've demonstrated an ability to manage people – so watch out for her, and do what you can. She'll benefit from your experience. Any questions, or concerns?"

"When will we be continuing with the project?" Katie asked.

"I'd give it a few days. Keep tracking the calls, but we won't be proceeding much further until Doctor Westphalen has been able to fully access Miss Allen's condition. And one final thing; this is to be kept under wraps. I don't want idle gossip to interfere with her recovery. Understood?" The silently nodding heads around the room appeared to indicate his message had got across successfully. "That will be all," he told them.

After a moment's pause, the crew all stood and made their way, silently, out of the wardroom.

"Uh, Doctor Westphalen?" Miguel spoke, turning back from the door and walking toward her.

"Yes?"

"Is she alright for visitors?"

Kristin looked to Nathan for some kind of sign. A single, quiet nod did the trick quite nicely. "I don't see why not. She's in med-bay four."

"Thank you," he nodded.

"Uh, Mr Ortiz?" Nathan called, stopping him in his tracks. "Be nice?"

Miguel smiled and nodded. "I will. Thank you, Sir."

Kristin gave Nathan a warm smile and rubbed his shoulder, before turning to leave too. She paused on her way out and turned to look at him. "Will you be alright?"

"Oh, I'll be fine," he insisted, putting on a brave smile. It wasn't himself he was worried about. All he could think about was how on earth he would tell Lucas.

***

When people are ill, they're often described as looking '_grey_', and until now, Miguel didn't really know what a '_grey_' person looked like. But now he knew. Because there, sitting on the bed across the room was someone who definitely looked '_grey_'.

Too pre-occupied with her odd behaviour towards him and the others, he'd never taken note of the black circles under her eyes, or the pale complexion that had mostly been red with frustration or anger.

The facts were still in the process of sinking in, so he probably wasn't in the best place, mentally, to be speaking to her. But he knew none of the other crew would be going to see her, so he felt it was his responsibility – not least because he knew more about her than they did.

She sat with her back against the metal headboard of the bed, her legs stretched out in front of her, eyes to the floor, looking exposed and vulnerable.

'_And no wonder_,' Miguel thought. '_All her secrets have been revealed to a bunch of strangers_.'

Realising that made him a little more sympathetic to her feelings, but there were still things that needed to be said, so after taking a deep breath, he walked into the room.

"So, this is the real reason you've been snapping at all of us since you came aboard? Had me fooled. I thought it was concern for Doctor Briers," he said sternly, taking a seat on the bed to face her.

She looked at him, not sure whether to be angry or ashamed. "I _am_ concerned for him," she said, quietly.

"Not as concerned as you are about getting your next fix."

"That's not fair, I'm not a junkie. I take those pills for a reason," she defended.

"Yeah," he nodded, sceptically. "I get it, you _need_ them."

"Don't say it like that," she pleaded. "There are things about me you don't know."

"No, you listen to me!" he said, harshly, his feelings on the matter getting the better of him. He didn't know what bothered him more – the fact that she'd betrayed his trust, and that of his friends, or the thought that he _knew_ she was better than this. "You're not the first person in history, or even on this boat, to have a difficult childhood. But not all of us take it out on other people. Some of us are strong enough to ask for help without resorting to pill popping to get attention."

"That's not why I took them."

"At this point I don't really care what the reason is. You've got the attention now, so what matters is what you're going to do with it."

Unseen from the doorway, Kristin listened in with interest. She was surprised to hear such a tirade coming from the usually mild-mannered sensor chief, but was glad he was giving her the message she needed to hear. Kristin could see that she respected him, so perhaps of all of them, he would be the one she'd listen to.

"This crew has welcomed you onboard and offered its' time to help with your project and all you've done is deceive us. Now we're willing to put time and energy into helping you through this, but you need to repay us by putting in double the effort. By all means, plough your energy into your work. But you need to put as much dedication into helping yourself as you do with the project - maybe even more. Because if you don't try, then we won't either," he finished, and waited for her to respond.

Eyes fixed on the bed sheet; she nodded silently, shame and regret plain in her eyes. "I will."

"You have to be serious about this, believe me, I know," he added. Seeing her expression turning to one of deep remorse, he wondered if he'd gone too far. The last thing he wanted to do was push her over the edge and make her feel hopeless.

Her head hung low, humiliation making it hard to face him. "I really do care about Bill," she said quietly.

"I know you do," he reassured. "And I believe you can do this. It's going to be hard, but you'll get through it." He paused to look at her, willing her to lift her head and see the sincerity in his eyes. "You have to find your way back to the person you ought to be," he said.

At those words, she did lift up her head, and she did see the warmth and sincerity he was sending her - willing her to give this her best shot. However, all she could think was, '_What if I don't know who that is anymore?_'

He raised his hand and gave her leg a pat, before standing to leave.

"Mr Ortiz?" she called after him.

He stopped and turned to look at her questioningly.

"I'm sorry I let you down," she said, her voice quivering.

He nodded, accepting the apology gratefully. "You should be more sorry that you let yourself down," he told her, and gave her a warm smile, before leaving her alone.

Only for once it was the one thing she hadn't wanted.


	5. Chapter 5

_seaQuest DSV 4600 – I  
__Beaufort Sea,  
__30th August 2018  
__71N 4' 26.6", 145W 32' 48.75"_

The revelations were still sinking in a few days later, when the project finally got underway. For some of them, the fact that someone in such a privileged position would even have considered stealing supplies was hard to accept.

"I'm sorry, I just can't believe she had the nerve," Tim admitted to Ben and Miguel at breakfast. "I hope she knows how lucky she is."

"Sometimes people aren't who you think they are," Ben mused.

Miguel dropped his fork to the table. "And sometimes circumstances lead people down the wrong path. I think we should give her a chance. She knows how much she let us down."

"Why are you defending her?" Tim asked.

Miguel stammered, trying to come up with a suitable answer. "I've spent more time with her than you guys. I just get the feeling she's not the kind of person who would normally do something like this."

"If she's done it once, she'll probably do it again," Ben warned; hoping Miguel might take the hint. Although he admired the way his crewmate always looked for the good in people, he hated to think that this girl might take advantage of that kindness.

"Is that your way of tell me to be careful?" Miguel quipped.

"Kinda."

"Well thanks, Pops. But I think I'm capable of making my own judgements."

"We know that," Tim added. "But you can't expect us all to be so forgiving. She hasn't exactly made herself very likeable. I mean; the way she flipped out at Hitchcock was something else."

"She flipped out because she wasn't thinking straight. And besides, she thinks Hitchcock doesn't like her," Miguel admitted.

"What gave her that idea?" Tim asked.

"Nothing exactly. Like I said, she wasn't thinking straight."

"Let's just drop this for now, alright?" Ben suggested. "None of us have been in this situation before, so we'll just have to see how it plays out."

Tim and Miguel gave each other a look of silent agreement across the table. Clearly this was a matter they were going to have differing opinions on.

***

Tracking the humpback calls had finally paid off, and they'd located them – a group of males, feeding in the Beaufort Sea, not far off the northern coast of Alaska.

"Five, maybe four males circling the boat at 2000 metres to port and starboard," Miguel announced.

"Very good, Mr Ortiz, five males it is," Bill told him, seated beside Nathan on the bridge.

"Are you recording this?" Miguel asked Beth, who was seated next to him and in control of Junior.

"Yeah," she answered, concentrating on the satellites' movements.

They'd powered down the sonar relays, so were relying completely on the WSKRS to kick back data to the seaQuest about the whales position and behaviour.

It was the first time the two of them had worked together since their conversation in med-bay a few nights ago. It was clear his words had made an impact, but perhaps not in the way he'd intended, because although she was making a visible effort with the work, she seemed wary of him, almost intimidated, and that wasn't the outcome he'd wanted.

Kristin too, was concerned at the way she seemed to have retracted into herself.

"I don't think she's slept any better, but that's to be expected. It's too early to expect any improvement in her sleep patterns," she sighed, as she gave Nathan and Bill an update, watching as she and Miguel worked silently together. "The truth of the matter is, I can help her get over the addiction, but unless she comes to terms with whatever is causing these nightmares she'll be no better off."

"Have you tried talking with her?" Nathan asked.

"Of course I have. But I'm not a counsellor and she's not a willing patient. She won't discuss it with me."

Beside them, Bill leant closer with a grin. "She's stubborn and pig-headed isn't she?"

"That's one way of putting it," Kristin grumped, giving Nathan and Bill a laugh.

"I have a visual now, Sir, transferring to the main screen," Miguel announced, interrupting them.

He and the rest of the bridge crew turned, and were captivated as the first images of their subjects appeared on screen.

Stepping through the doors to join them, Lucas was just as amazed. "Wow," he commented.

"Fantastic," Bill said, excitedly. "There are our boys."

"Handsome devils," Nathan joked.

"How about a surface observation, Captain?" Bill suggested.

Nathan looked over at his XO for an answer.

Ford sighed, "It'll be pretty rough, Captain."

"Oh, you've got a strong stomach, Commander, I'm sure you can handle it," he teased. Jonathan simply laughed. "Good. Then let's ready a launch," Nathan ordered.

"Yes, Sir," Jonathan smiled. "Miss Allen, Mr Ortiz, Mr Shan, with me please," he shouted.

"Captain," Lucas said innocently beside Nathan.

"Yes, Lucas?"

"I'd like to go to," he said, half request, half question.

He'd surprised Nathan over the past few days, accepting the news about Beth as if it were nothing unusual, and just getting on with things as normal. It was a sad thought that the boy was so accustomed to being let down, that it almost seemed he anticipated it. "Commander?" Nathan asked.

Jonathan grinned, and nodded in acquiescence as he, Miguel, Shan, Beth and Lucas prepared to leave the bridge.

As Beth walked past, Kristin gently took her by the arm and pulled her aside. "Do you think you're up to this?" she asked, concerned.

Beth looked around, nervously, hoping there weren't too many people paying attention. "Yeah," she nodded.

Kristin simply glared at her, doubtfully. "Hold out your hands," she ordered.

Reluctantly, she peeled her hands away from her sides and held them out flat for inspection, as still as she could possibly manage. If quivering rapidly qualified as '_still_,' she'd have passed the test with flying colours, but as circumstances would have it, that wasn't the case. She snatched her hands back and looked at Kristin defiantly.

"I'll be fine," she insisted. "Besides, I could do with the fresh air."

"Alright," Kristin said, still unsure. "Just don't do anything you're not capable of!" she shouted, as Beth walked away to join the others. She sighed in frustration. "Stubborn and pig-headed indeed!" she grumbled.

"I see someone hasn't lost their spark," Nathan commented.

"You're telling me she hasn't!"

"I was talking about you," he teased, and retreated quickly with a childish grin, laughing to himself, while Kristin scowled at him, unable to think of a come back.

"Everything alright?" Miguel asked, as Beth walked off the bridge. Seeing Doctor Westphalen had held her back, he'd hovered around the doorway, waiting for her.

'"Yeah," she reassured. "Kristin's worried I'm not up to this."

"And are you?" he asked.

The look she gave him translated quite clearly as '_not you too!_' but he felt it was within his right to ask.

"Yes, I am," she said, resolutely.

The following silence was definitely one of uncertainty, as both struggled to determine where they stood with the other. He could see she was trying, and that was the most important thing. In the end, he decided to attempt to diffuse the tension.

"I just hope your stomach holds out," he teased.

"So do I," she agreed, with a smile, glad that he didn't seem to be as annoyed with her as she'd first thought.

***

The sea-launch lurched as they left seaQuest and ventured out into the churning Beaufort Sea, with the turbulence only growing in intensity the further away they got, which was to be expected this close to the Arctic Ocean.

Seated in the back with Lucas and Miguel, Beth breathed deeply through her nose with her eyes tight shut. There was an enormous '_bang,'_ with an accompanying lurch and her arm shot out to grip the edge of the wall.

"You alright?" Miguel asked.

"I'm _fine_," she said, with frustration, through gritted teeth.

Lucas laughed and opened his mouth to speak but was stopped by a harsh look from Miguel.

"Sorry folks," Shan shouted down, apologetically, from the cockpit. As the best pilot aboard the seaQuest, he knew how to handle the craft in difficult conditions, but even he was finding this a challenge. Thankfully, however, the movement lessened as he manoeuvred the launch into place.

"Prepare us for anchorage, Mr Ortiz," Jonathan shouted down to him.

Once the launch was anchored in place at the surface, the men all worked to deploy the rib, while Beth and Lucas passed equipment up to them. Once everything was aboard, they made their way up the ladder and were awestruck by the sight that awaited them. The group of males were clearly intrigued by their presence and were spy hopping at the surface to get a better view. Shan carefully moved the boat nearer to the group, but made sure to keep close to the launch.

"This is close enough I think," Beth shouted over the rumble of the waves. "They'll come closer if they want."

"Hold position here!" Jonathan shouted, relaying the message to Shan.

As he secured the boat, Lucas and Miguel eyed Beth questioningly, wondering what she wanted them to do. She took out one of the cameras and knelt down at the edge of the boat.

"Give me five minutes," she told them, and set about photographing the identifying features of each of the five whales. Each time the whales surfaced and dived, she took a sequence of pictures, moving between the sides of the boat to get a better view.

As time passed, none of the men missed how uncomfortable she was beginning to look, being bobbed around by the waves.

"Here are the five males," she told Lucas and Miguel once she'd finished. "I've coded them A to E. I'll need you to remember their identifying features so you can note down what they're doing."

"Features like what?" Lucas asked.

"Here," she zoomed in on a photo. "A has four peduncle knobs behind his dorsal fin, while B only has three. You have to look really carefully to make sure you've got the right one."

"Alright, so we just write down what they're doing? That's it?" Miguel asked, noting down what she'd just told them.

"That's it," she nodded, and left them to it. She lifted her eyes up to look around her, but a mere glance at the uneven horizon was enough to turn her stomach inside out. With colour rapidly draining from her face, she sank slowly to sit against the side.

"I thought you'd found your sea legs," Jonathan commented as he took a seat next to her.

"I lost them again," she sighed, her eyes screwed shut.

"Don't close your eyes," he told her. "It'll just make it worse."

He turned his attention to Lucas and Miguel, who were having an argument over which whale was which.

"I thought you said that one was B!" Miguel snapped.

"No! I said _that_ one was B," Lucas corrected. "That one's E, B has a bigger knob."

There was a moment of disbelief before Miguel exploded into laughter, while Lucas just looked at him, comprehension refusing to dawn.

"What?" he asked, innocently.

"Nothing," Miguel reassured, "What were you saying?"

Jonathan chuckled to himself and looked back down at Beth, who seemed to have regained some of her composure. "Anything I can do?" he asked.

She looked up at him, pleasantly surprised. "Are you any good with a camera?" she asked.

"A little."

"Then there's another one in my bag," she told him. "If you could take as many pictures and videos as you could, I'd really appreciate it. I, um, don't think my stomach is going to handle this as well as I thought," she admitted.

"Is this from the withdrawal?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Well, just do what you can," he said, and headed away to get the cameras. He took a seat at the back of the rib next to Shan, and they took turns keeping its' position steady, which wasn't easy in the rough seas.

When it wasn't his turn, he sat taking pictures and video. "I feel like a tourist," he joked. Shan simply laughed.

They both leapt as a whale bobbed to the surface not ten metres from the boat, completely dwarfing it, and Jonathan suddenly felt extremely vulnerable, realising that if they wanted, these creatures could drown them all. As the same whale returned to the surface for another look, he found himself staring into it's large, glassy eye, and came to the more important realisation that, in actual fact, it was the whales who were vulnerable. Having been hunted and persecuted, and had their waters invaded by man, these creatures were struggling for survival, a fact he found hard to swallow as he gazed into the wise depths of their eyes. In them he saw no hatred, no fear, no judgement, simply acceptance, and it moved him profoundly.

Notebook in hand, Beth moved cautiously up the boat to sit by them.

"It's pretty good, huh?" she asked, watching the contented grin spreading wider and wider across his face.

"I didn't expect this," he admitted.

"How could anyone kill these creatures?" Shan asked.

"They feed, breed and mate close to shore. They're easy targets for everything – hunting, pollution, collisions with boats," Beth told him.

"It's not right," Jonathan sighed, shaking his head.

"A couple more minutes and we'll have to head in," Shan shouted. Between the pounding waves and the boisterous activity of the whales, he was beginning to lose control of the rib.

"Ok," Beth shouted back. She put her notebook away and picked up a case from the back of the rib, then moved cautiously along towards where Miguel and Lucas were sat. He was surprised to see a rifle inside the case.

"I'm going to try and tag them," she yelled. Once assembled, she slung the rifle over her shoulder and balanced on the edge of the boat. She looked through the viewfinder, patiently waiting to get her target in line, but the persistent shaking hadn't gone away, and made it impossible to hold a steady line of sight. After fighting cramp in two fingers, she prized them from the trigger and admitted defeat.

"I can't do it," she sighed, slipping the rifle from around her shoulders.

"Jonathan!" Shan shouted. "Take the rudder?" he asked. Jonathan nodded, and allowed him to walk over to where she was sat.

"Would you like me to take a shot? If you'll excuse the pun," he smiled.

"If you don't mind," she said, grateful for his offer of help.

"No, just tell me where to shoot," he said, slinging the rifle over his back. "I don't think we've been properly introduced by the way. Chief William Shan," he said, holding out his hand.

"Beth Allen," she said, shaking it in return.

Once he was balanced on the side, she showed him where to shoot, and watched as he waited patiently for the perfect opportunity to launch the dart, but the whales were surfacing too far away. Suddenly one reared up within metres of the boat and he fired, releasing an electronic tag that stuck painlessly to the side of the animal.

"One more!" she told him. That would be the difficult part. Not only would he have to wait for one to get close enough, but he'd have to make sure it was a different individual. Making sure he was certain meant waiting for what seemed like an eternity. He struggled to remain balanced on the side of the boat and would have gone over had it not been for Miguel's firm grasp on his life jacket.

"2 'o clock!" Miguel shouted, and Will turned just in time to shoot the tag

"Nice shot!!" Jonathan yelled excitedly.

"Thank you," Beth told Will as he placed the rifle back in its case.

"Sure."

Though cold and wet, they were all enjoying being out in the open, under real daylight and in fresh air, so it was somewhat reluctantly that they all packed away the equipment.

As he packed away one of the cameras, Miguel noticed Beth struggling to do up a buckle on her bag. He put the camera away and shuffled over to take the bag from her and slip the buckle into place.

She sighed, a sound inaudible over the boiling sea around them, but one that Miguel heard as clear as day, and she looked up at him, gratefully.

"Thank you," she said, and placed an appreciative hand on his arm.

They barely had time to turn and look when another animal surfaced next to them for a full on breach. They all stared open mouthed at the enormous creature hurling itself into the air. The impact of its' bulk hitting the water was enough to send a wave rolling towards the boat. Miguel and Beth grabbed onto each other for support, while Jonathan, Shan and Lucas sank to their knees and gripped the side of the boat as they all yelped excitedly.

"Everything alright up there, Commander?" The Captains voice came across the open inter-com.

"Yes, Sir, we're making our way back now," Jonathan answered, rather disappointed, but completely spellbound at the experience.

***

Back in the lab, Beth, Lucas, Bill, Kristin and Joshua reviewed the data and images proudly.

"I named those two," Lucas said, proudly.

"Oh yes?" Kristin asked, eyebrows raised in anticipation.

"Ripple and Crush."

Kristin laughed, "Ripple and Crush?"

"Yeah. Nice manly names," he answered.

"What kind of tags are you using?" Joshua asked.

"It's a new type of tag a team at the University came up with. It comprises a satellite tracking tag for relaying back information about the progress of the migration, and a PAT tag for recording behaviour," Bill told him.

"May I see one?" he asked.

"Of course. Beth?" he asked, turning round to see Beth pull herself up off one of the stools behind them. She took one of the tags out of the case on the desk and handed it to Joshua, who turned it over in his hands and looked impressed.

"The group that developed it tested them on sea turtles," he added.

While the two of them discussed the wonders of the new tag design, Kristin stole glances across at Beth, who had returned to her seat at another bench, ashen white face held in her hands, not uttering a word. She hated to say '_I told you so_,' but that still didn't stop it running through her head as she watched the poor girl suffering.

Miguel's voice suddenly came across the comms system. "Miss Allen and Mr Wolenczak to the bridge please."

***

On arrival, Nathan took them over to the WSKRS station, where Beth took a seat next to Miguel and slipped on a headset.

"Can you hear that?" Miguel asked.

Beth nodded. "Tracking signal. They're working," she smiled. Now they'd be able to find the males wherever they were.

Nathan lowered his head close to hers. "Just what did you do to my Commander?" he asked. The glint in Jonathan's eyes when he'd come off the launch had been unmistakeable, and had amused Nathan greatly.

"It was the whales, Captain," Beth smiled, and took her headset off, wiping the sheen of sweat off her brow at the same time, and exhaling deeply.

"How are you doing?" Nathan asked, knowing it was a redundant question, considering how bad she looked.

"I'll be fine," she grimaced. "It's all part of the process apparently."

"Well, stick in there," he reassured her.

***

The sweating and nausea were the least of the unpleasant symptoms she had to deal with. As the withdrawal continued, her mind seemed even less capable of distinguishing fact from fantasy, hearing jibes and insults where there were none.

"They're all laughing at me, aren't they?" she asked Lucas, suddenly, as they worked in the lab together.

He simply looked at her, wearily. "_What?'_

"Them!" she gestured out the door, seemingly indicating the _entire_ crew, which Lucas found ridiculous.

"No offence, but the people on this boat have way better things to do than sit around and contemplate _your_ problems," he said, simply, sending her sprawling face first back into reality.

Beth glared at him for a moment, before groaning and setting her head in her hands. "I hate this!!!" she said, angrily. "My head is spinning!"

"It'll get better," he reassured, thinking that was all he seemed to be saying to her recently. But, it did the trick, so he continued to say it at the appropriate moments.

Over the last week or so, while Miguel busied himself recording the males movements and behaviour with the WSKRS, Beth had been in the lab with Lucas, analysing the data they'd recorded previously. As they moved on to pursue more whales and gathered more data, the time she spent on the bridge grew less frequent, so it was a relief that she and Lucas had established a good working relationship, otherwise working in the lab would have been far more of a chore. He was smart and constantly curious, yet very much a child still. He understood concepts she couldn't hope to grasp and brought a new perspective to the research. She hadn't seen Joshua or Tanya much, and got the distinct feeling that they weren't quite ready to forgive her deceit.

She tried to move the conversation away from her personal battle, but had instantly regretted asking about how he'd ended up on seaQuest after hearing about his neglectful parents. It was something she could sympathise with though.

"I've never known my family either – I grew up with fosters, so I was never really close to anyone."

"It sucks doesn't it?" he sulked.

"In some ways yeah, but would you really be so independent if you'd grown up completely molly coddled?" she asked.

"Probably not," Lucas smiled at her and she knew then she'd struck a chord with him.

"Is that why you care so much for Darwin?" she asked. "He's always happy to see you, never hides his feelings."

"Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly it," he replied. "You don't have to wait in line to get his attention – he's always willing to listen. And he doesn't break promises."

Beth nodded, pleased at having been given the brief glimpse into his mind.

***

_Arctic Ocean,  
__14th September 2018_

The movement of the water was hypnotic. More than once, Beth had to blink to distract herself as the light rippled soothingly across the surface of the moon pool. It was late at night, and she hadn't quite got through the cloud of tiredness yet, but knew that if she went back to her room she'd just toss and turn until breakfast. So instead she sought solace in the reams of numbers on the computer screen in front of her.

The amount of data they'd gathered seemed to be endless. During the past few days she'd found it easier to concentrate on with no one else around, so had taken to working at the moon pool after hours. She was working on a particularly challenging set, and hoped to get it done within the next few hours, before a new set of data came in. However, tonight, it seemed things weren't going to go to plan.

She turned as the pressure seal on the door hissed open and groaned inwardly as she saw who stepped through.

"Oh." The word fell flat, unintentionally revealing Katie's disappointment at having found someone else in there. "I didn't know anyone else was working this late."

"No, it's ok," Beth said apologetically, suddenly feeling very exposed. She hadn't seen Katie much since she'd bellowed at her, and had been meaning to find the right time to apologise. It seemed the right time had finally caught up with her. "I've actually been meaning to speak to you," she said, turning in her seat to face her.

Katie set down the tools she'd carried with her, and placed her hands on her hips, listening expectantly, and knowing full well what was to come.

"I need to apologise for the way I spoke to you a couple of weeks ago. It was inexcusable and I am really sorry about it."

"Thank you, I appreciate that," Katie said, genuinely appreciative. She respected honesty, and people who took responsibility for their own mistakes. Stepping further into the room, she struggled for something to say that would put the younger woman at ease. Although she'd been angry at the time of the offence, time, and having learnt more about what Beth was going through, had cooled her off. Besides, she hadn't exactly had the most idyllic childhood herself, so she had some sympathy for how she might be feeling. And she had also seen the effort she'd been putting into the work. She was trying to make up for her mistakes, so she had to respect that too. "You know, you're probably breaching about a hundred health and safety regulations," she commented, referring to the fact Beth was working alone, in an area filled with sensitive equipment and tools.

"Needs must I guess."

"Can't sleep?" Katie asked, as she continued further into the room, carrying the tools she'd brought with her from the machine shop. She'd clearly come to do some work on the submersible she and Lucas had designed.

"No," Beth admitted. "My concentration isn't great right now, either, so I've been finding it easier to work alone. Besides, sometimes you get more done that way, huh? Without everyone else in the way I mean. "

Katie lifted her head. "I know what you mean," she agreed.

Beth smiled, despite herself. "I get so frustrated when people don't do things the way I want them to be done, that sometimes I end up doing the whole thing myself. It's a hard thing, letting go of your own work."

"Tell me about it," Katie said, indicating towards the unfinished hull of her latest project, hovering on pulleys over the water. "Some might say two heads are better than one, but when the other head is a stubborn 16 year old, things don't seem to get done very quickly."

"I can sympathise. In this case the other head is an 81 year old geriatric!" she laughed, surprised at the light-hearted exchange between them.

Katie smiled. It wasn't often that she felt like exchanging pleasantries with another woman. Most of her friends were men, always had been and to be frank, she was bored by the trivial things that filled most women's lives. "I'm sure you have him wrapped around your little finger," she said reassuringly.

"Are you kidding?" Beth raised an eyebrow. "He runs rings around me. One thing today, another thing tomorrow." Her face fell at the thought of Bill's deteriorating mental state. Working on the project was taking a lot more out of him than she thought it would, and no doubt learning about her addiction hadn't helped. Kristin and the Captain had also noticed and consulted her about it. She looked back at the computer, her walls already coming back up.

"Oh dear. Sounds worse than being married," Katie said, unaware of Bill's health problems.

Beth smirked, "I wouldn't know." She peered round the corner at the contraption hanging over the pool. To her it was all wires and flashing lights, but to Katie it was clearly more. The spark in her eye as she ran her hand over its' surface spoke volumes. "How's it coming anyway? Will it be ready for the trials?"

"I think so, but it's not about the trials any more. It's about the journey, not the destination. You see, they said it couldn't be done, electroactive polymers…laminar flow…breaking the speed record. We've had to patent about 60 different new devices just to get this thing in the water."

"You know I've seen that quote written down in countless books, but I've never heard anyone say it before. It's nice to see someone so dedicated to their work." Of course, what she meant to say was, 'It's nice to see someone _else_ so dedicated to their work.' Even though she had no interest in her area of expertise, she had to admit that on some level she respected Katie. And at that moment she also realised the reason that Katie had been the target of her scorn – she was the kind of strong, dependable woman that Beth had always strived to be, but had never managed to get there. To see someone else seemingly manage it with such little effort was somewhat of a kick in the teeth.

"Hey, I was going to get a cup of coffee. You want some?" Katie asked.

Beth could sense the olive branch being offered, and considering they'd already come on leaps and bounds, she wasn't about to turn it down. "Yeah," she nodded. "In fact, let me come with you. This isn't doing what I want," she shrugged in the direction of the computer.

"Just kick it. That's what I do." Katie waited, deadpan, to see if Beth would get the joke.

"I do, often. Just not when Lucas is around."

They both cracked into laughter.

"Just one thing," Beth said. "I've been ordered to stay off stimulants."

"We have got juice, too," Katie told her, and Beth smiled as they headed down the hall.

***

"Here. Apple juice, right?" Katie asked, handing Beth a glass and gesturing for her to take a seat at any of the numerous empty tables in the mess hall.

"Yeah, thanks." Beth took her cup gratefully, and they sat sipping their drinks for a few moments, both struggling for something to say. "Is this your first tour on the seaQuest?" she said, immediately kicking herself for asking such a lame question.

"Actually it is. They brought me in to refit the old girl and they decided to keep me."

"Really? Looks a little like she decided to keep you. You seem really in your element here."

"Funny, I thought I was the only one who thought boats think for themselves. I guess she did decide to keep me…"

"Is she different from other boats you've been on? I mean there obviously aren't this many scientists on other boats. Must drive you crazy," she commented, tentatively, eager to address the tension she'd sensed since coming onboard.

"There's never been more than four scientists at a time on a military sub. You could say we're making history. And yeah, it does drive me crazy. Jonathan and I didn't exactly get off to a great start with Doctor Westphalen."

"And now?" Beth asked, boldly. "I just, didn't really get the impression that either of you were happy to have Bill and I onboard."

"Yeah," Katie sighed, setting down her mug. "Ben did mention something about that. Listen, I'm a scientist at heart too. It's just difficult to be around people who are so…I don't know, undisciplined."

Beth was slightly taken aback, both at the fact Katie seemed to know about how she felt, and her response, which she didn't know whether to take offence to or not. Even though she probably hadn't intended it to, Katie's comment had come across rather harshly. "I don't know if undisciplined would be the right word. It's just a _different_ discipline."

'_Freaking hell, I've done it again_,' Katie thought. "Look, I didn't mean it like that. I mean, I've been in the navy since I was 17, I've been on a sub since I was 21. That's rules and regs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. When you live like that civilians just come across a little sloppy."

"That's intense," Beth sighed, feeling a little small again, but realising Katie probably didn't mean it. "So, you get on alright with Kristin now?"

"Oh, of course. Everything changed shortly before we shoved off. We were always at loggerheads until I, uh, managed to burn myself down in the engine room. Kristin patched me up and we got talking. It changes things when you are vulnerable and you need someone to help you."

Beth nodded thoughtfully. She could identify.

"Anyway," Katie continued. "It turned out that she has just as disastrous a love life as me, and we ended up giggling about our ex husbands. You should have seen Jonathan's face when he walked in on us chatting like old friends. I can't say his attitude has improved that much, although, he does seem to be coming round to the idea, especially since we uncovered the library."

"Yeah, I heard about that. He seemed pretty enthusiastic about the whales too."

Katie laughed. "When Jon does something he certainly throws in all of his enthusiasm."

"He certainly does." Another pregnant pause followed, allowing them to take another couple of sips. "I um, I don't suppose you'd consider helping me out with the research too?"

"Oh," Katie said, leaning back in her seat. "I'm sorry, I have far too much work scheduled to go diverting myself over some whales."

"Oh, no, I understand," Beth said, dismayed. "It's just that you can get such a unique perspective, with the probe I mean. And I've seen the amazing images you've taken with it. Just thought I'd ask."

"You know, flattery will get you everywhere. I'll think about it."

Beth smiled, feeling as if they were finally getting somewhere. "Thanks."


	6. Chapter 6

It had not been a good morning.

Filled with enthusiasm and armed with a definite plan of action, Katie had headed down to the moon pool to put some time into the '_gazelle_' before her watch.

Things had started well. There were a few problems with the firing mechanism on the port thrusters, but nothing that couldn't be fixed given time. It was when she moved on to check over the attachment of the tail section that everything had fallen apart – literally. A frayed loop on one of the suspension harnesses had decided to give way while she had her hand lodged inside the mechanics. Luckily the other harnesses had been enough to hold it in place, but as soon as she'd felt the movement, she'd pulled her hand out, giving her a nasty cut along the side of her wrist.

After releasing many profanities, she'd talked herself into getting the wound properly dressed, and was now sitting in med-bay, watching intently as Kristin checked it over. As a precaution, she cleaned it out and decided to bandage it up, to save it irritating her on duty.

"A bandage is going to irritate me just as much," Katie quipped.

"Yes, well, better that than further infection."

The Doctor seemed agitated, and the fact it took her three attempts to cut the right length of bandage only seemed to cause further aggravation.

"That's a little tight," Katie flinched as she wound the fabric round, threatening to cut off feeling to her fingers.

"Sorry," she snapped, and unwound to begin again.

"Kristin, is everything alright?"

She sighed loudly in frustration and unwound the bandage, ready to start over yet again. "No, I can't get this to work!" she groaned.

Katie's mouth twitched in amusement. "That's not what I meant."

"I know," Kristin replied, and remained silent for a few more moments while she successfully finished off the dressing. "Things are just a little intense at the moment. Between B…" she paused, realising she was about to complain about looking after Bill, when Katie didn't know there was anything wrong with him. "Beth's mood swings and the arguments in the lab, I'm finding it rather difficult."

"What arguments?"

"Between Beth and Bill. The amount of data we've gathered over the last month is enormous, and Bill keeps changing his mind about how he wants it organised. Beth, who's already tense, just can't handle it. There was a major blow out this morning, actually. She just wants to sit down and work on something – not get halfway through and discover she has to change it again."

"That's understandable."

"Yes, and it's not helping her much."

"You know, I ran into her at the moon pool a couple of weeks ago – working late."

"Oh, yes?"

"Yeah, we spoke for a bit, she apologised."

"Well, it's a start," Kristin supposed.

"She said she couldn't sleep. How is she doing?"

"Her withdrawal symptoms are slightly better, but she's still not talking much. She lets slip a few details every now and then, but nothing substantial."

"Maybe mental therapy isn't what she needs."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean maybe she needs physical therapy."

"Physical therapy? There's nothing wrong with her physically."

"That's not what I mean. I mean if she isn't going to work out her issues through talking, maybe she needs to do something _physical_, y'know, like running, or, kick-boxing. Being on a sub is intense, so if she's tense already, she's gonna need to release it somehow."

"You may have a point there," Kristin mused, while packing away the wound dressings. She looked sidelong at Katie, a plan formulating almost immediately. "You, um, you box don't you?" she asked.

Katie laughed, shaking her head. "I'm not taking on a charity case, Doc."

"Katie, please, she's driving me insane. I might have the patience of a saint, but my halo is starting to wilt. I could really do with your help."

***

Bill himself had been incredibly upset at having angered Beth that morning, when he was only trying to help her out and save her some time and trouble. In the end he'd only caused her a great deal more.

Reeling from his interference, and struggling to deal with his deteriorating mental state, Beth had decided to retreat to the bridge, where she could at least relax a little in Miguel's company.

"Commander," she nodded, as she walked past Katie at her station.

"Miss Allen, how are things going?" she asked.

"Um, good, slowly and frustratingly, but good," she replied vaguely. The answer could have referred to both her own personal battle, and the project. She walked round to the sonar station and dropped down onto the seat with an over-exaggerated thud. "Can't you take a day off?" she joked.

"Getting bogged down?" he asked, with a smile.

"You have no idea – I have three years worth of data to sort through, with more coming in every day, and only four months left to do it in. Lucas' software is running great, but Bill insists on changing his mind about what to analyse every two hours. He's doing my nut!" she blurted, before instantly taking it back, "I shouldn't say things like that."

"Is there anything I can do?" Miguel asked, concerned.

"That's what I came to talk to you about."

"Alright," he said and removed his headset, "I'm all ears."

"Do you think you could sort the behavioural data into time-scales and categories as it comes in? Lucas has written a program to do most of it, so he could upload it at your station to avoid hassle."

"Shouldn't be a problem," he assured.

"Thank you," she sighed.

"How are you doing?" he asked.

"I wish people would stop asking me that," she grumbled.

"Hey, don't bark at me for being concerned."

"Sorry."

"So?"

"So…I'm tired, and grumpy, and sick to my stomach, and I can't concentrate on anything, and I hate that I keep snapping at people because I know you all hate me for it."

"I don't hate you," Miguel reassured.

"Well that's something," she teased, breaking into a smile. Even just being in his company, she felt so unashamed to be herself. "Did you finish that book you were slogging through the other night?"

"I did," he said, simply.

"And?" she smiled. "Did the hero win out in the end? Did he get his girl and save the day?" she teased, pulling a smile from the corner of his mouth.

"He didn't save the day, but the girl went with him anyway, because of who he was."

"See, us girls aren't stupid."

"That's debatable," he joked.

She laughed and gave him a playful slap across the arm. "Do you mind if I hide out here for a while?" she asked.

"Be my guest," he smiled. He was pleased to see her, even if she hadn't been in the best humour. Now the project was in full swing, her time on the bridge was still very limited, which he was slightly sorry for. They still saw each other at mess and at the progress meetings, but as he was one of only a handful of people who knew about Bill's dementia, they couldn't talk while there were other people around. He was glad that she occasionally sought him out to release her pent up frustrations about the situation, considering she didn't seem to be spending much time with anyone on the crew these days. Although at times it left him feeling like an emotional punch bag, her other conversation, and her interest in the WSKRS made up for it.

"You know this is the second batch of WSKRS we've had this tour?" he'd asked her one day, as they ate lunch together.

"_No, what happened to the first lot?"_

"_Blown up by mines," he answered, dismally._

"_Oh," she said, inhaling sharply. "That must have hurt." Over the weeks, she'd come to notice how Miguel's eyes lit up when discussing the satellites, just as hers did when discussing the project. So she could imagine how devastated he must have been to lose all the WSKRS at once._

"_You've no idea."_

"_So, how come you ran into mines?"_

"_You know about the Wayfarer Capsule, right?"_

"_From the Mars mission, yeah," she nodded._

"_We were on our way to pick them up, travelling through a deep water trench. But a sub from the Montagnard confederation had laced the area with mines to stop us getting through."_

"_Why?"_

"_They wanted to be the first to get to the capsule."_

"_That's ridiculous. Didn't they realise they were playing with people's lives?"_

"_Oh, they realised, I just don't think they cared."_

"_So, what happened to the WSKRS?"_

"_Captain Bridger used them to clear a path for the seaQuest."_

_Beth looked at him with sympathy._

"But, we got new ones, so it's all good," he said, upbeat, always managing to find the silver lining.

He was snapped back to reality as Commander Hitchcock approached and asked to have a word alone with her.

She was more than a little apprehensive as Katie led her away, and her mind churned with the possibilities of what she might want. '_What the heck did I do?_' and '_I don't remember saying anything!_' were but two of the phrases that flew threw through her head during that 10 second walk round the corner.

"How's your schedule for the rest of the day?" Katie asked.

Then it all made sense – Beth realised she must have decided to agree to using the HR Probe for the project. In truth, her schedule for the rest of the day was pretty busy, but she was eager to see the probe in action. She could catch up another day.

"It's not too busy, why?" she asked.

"Would you meet me in the fitness centre this afternoon, say 1500 hours?"

Beth screwed up her nose in confusion. "The fitness centre?"

"Yes. 1500 hours alright?"

"I guess, yeah," she nodded, realising she could hardly back out now, after having said she wasn't busy.

"Good," Katie nodded, indicating she didn't have anything more to say. "And, Beth? Wear some comfortable clothes."

"Ok," Beth said, now even more confused and more than a little anxious. "You're not going to tell me what this is about?"

Katie smiled, enjoying the secrecy. "Just be there."

***

'_Don't look; he'll think you're a pervert!_'

But it was so tempting – sweat glistening over his muscular arms as they flexed back and forth with the weight. Dark hair slicked back against his head. Who he was, she had no idea, and didn't particularly care, but if he caught her staring at him one more time, she'd never be able to face meeting him in the hallways, and on a submarine, that was bound to happen at some point. Another thing she was sure of, was that from this moment on, that nameless sailor would be known as '_muscles_'.

'_Just another look, a really quick one_!'

She bent down to 'sort her trouser leg,' and on the way back up, flicked her eyes in his direction, but stumbled backwards in fright to find another muscular figure, this time somewhat more feminine, had appeared in front of her.

"Hey!" Beth said, trying to sound as innocent as possible.

"Hey," Katie smiled, not fooled in the least. "You ready?"

"How can I be ready if I don't know what I'm supposed to be ready for?" she quipped, agitated, and slightly embarrassed.

She watched as Katie gave her a scowl in warning, and walked over to the large punch bag hanging from the roof. She stood next to it and looked back at her, expectantly.

"_What_?" Beth groaned, walking over to join her, less than enthusiastically.

"Give it a chance," Katie told her, taking two sets of gloves from the storage cabinet. "If it doesn't work out, it doesn't matter. But I want you to try," she said, this time with a more assertive tone.

"Why?"

"Let's just say I'm doing Kristin a favour."

"That doesn't really answer my question."

Katie turned her back and smiled to herself. "Slip these on and we'll go through some of the more basic moves."

Beth caught the gloves as they were tossed to her, and prized her hands into them, feeling at once like some undersea crustacean.

"Ok, _this_, is a jab," Katie stated, before demonstrating a straight punch to the bag. "Which hand do you use?"

"My right, I guess."

Katie lowered her hands and looked exasperated. "You say '_I guess_' a lot. Don't guess; be certain. And I'm not saying that to get at you – it's a good piece of advice. So, if you're using your right, keep your left tucked up just by your jaw line. Position your feet under your shoulders. Stand square to the bag and punch straight through with your right arm." She watched as Beth meekly touched the bag. At least the technique was all right. "Good, so, moving on. Let's try a cross."

Following on from that, Katie showed her the other two basic punches – the hook and the uppercut, before moving onto the basic kicking motions, of which there were only three – a front kick, side kick and roundhouse kick. They practiced those for a while, both becoming more frustrated – Katie by Beth's lack of enthusiasm, and Beth because she still didn't really understand what they were doing.

"I still don't know why we're doing this," she grumped, as she kicked the bag half-heartedly.

Katie let her continue for a while before answering – choosing her words carefully. "What do you dream about?" she asked.

"_What_?" Beth snapped, glaring at her, incredulously.

"What are your nightmares about?" she repeated.

Beth looked away and resumed patting the bag, mimicking the techniques she'd been taught. "This and that," she answered.

"This and that? This and that keeps you awake for hours on end? This and that wakes you up, screaming, in the night? This and that is enough to make you break into the supply cabinet on a ship that's shown you nothing but hospitality and betray the crew who are working to ensure this project is a success?" Katie ranted.

By the time she had finished, the half-hearted patting had turned into full on kicks and punches, and she grabbed the bag to keep it steady. "See that's more like it," she commented, seriously.

"Sorry," Beth panted, wiping the sweat from her brow.

"Don't be sorry. You've got a lot of rage in there. We all get angry, Beth, but in the real world you can't continually let rip at people and expect them to keep taking it. People aren't punch bags. You need to learn how to control it – how to release it."

Realisation suddenly dawned – '_So that's what this is about_.' She watched as Katie walked over to the other side of the fitness centre and turned on a stereo. She turned up the volume and a rhythmic song began blaring through the speakers.

"Now," she said, returning to grip the punch bag. "I don't care what your dreams are all about. But whatever it is that's keeping you up at night, imagine this is it, and just let rip," she told her.

The determination in Beth's eyes told her she'd already brought some raw feelings to the surface, so it didn't take much encouragement before she was throwing all her weight and damaged soul behind the punches and giving it as much as she could.

Katie re-positioned her feet to get a better purchase – feeling at risk of slipping under the blows that kept on coming from a place that had remained untapped for sometime. As the song reached its' third repetition, Katie looked up to see tears welling up, and beginning to drip from the corners of Beth's eyes, and her heart clenched as she wondered what on earth she could be keeping hidden that was capable of traumatising her so much.

Perhaps she would never know, but at that point in time she was just glad she'd managed to help her release some of it.


	7. Chapter 7

By the end of October, they had tagged 20 more whales, in both the Beaufort Sea and the Arctic Ocean, and had travelled across the Arctic and down past Greenland to the North Sea, where they were in the process of tagging and tracking more whales.

Charting the data had become a mammoth task, and would have been much more difficult had it not been for Kristin. She now occupied much of Bill's time and handled his deteriorating health with great skill, allowing Beth time off from worrying about her mentor. The question had been raised as to whether it was appropriate to still have him on the boat, but his passion for conservation was still there, and working among them all helped to distract him, so Nathan had agreed to let him stay.

As for Beth herself – she was continuing to make progress, albeit slowly. She was still continually plagued by withdrawal symptoms, the worst of which were nausea and headaches. However, with a new found release to turn to, the paranoia and anxiety had been brought dramatically under control, meaning she was a much easier person to be around – something the other members of the crew had noticed.

"Yeah, I'm not so scared she's gonna bite my ear off anymore," Tim commented one evening as he and some of the guys played cards in Ben's room. Miguel simply scowled at him.

"She's a lot better these days," Ben mused, as he piled another handful of chips into his mouth.

"She has her moments," Lucas added, dealing a crushing blow to Tim's winning streak. "Sorry," he laughed, as Tim grumbled in the corner.

"What do you mean?" Miguel asked.

"I mean she can still get pretty wound up. She burst into tears for no reason the other day."

"She's trying," Miguel defended. "Which is a lot more than we can say for when she first arrived. It's just going to take time."

"Your hand, Ortiz," Ben reminded him.

They all turned their heads as a knock came at the door.

"Ok, who blabbed this time?" Ben looked accusingly at them all. Whenever they tried to have a private game of cards, there were always at least six others who tried to crash in on it. He placed his hand face down on the table and stood to answer the door. To his surprise, Beth stood on the other side.

"Oh," she said, as he swung the door open to reveal all the guys inside. "Is this a bad time?" she asked, taking a few backward steps.

"No, come on in," he invited, and motioned her inside.

"Hey," Miguel greeted, cheerily, pleasantly surprised to see her.

"Hey," she smiled back, a little too girlishly for her own liking. "What are you playing?"

"Pontoon," Tim replied.

Beth stared back at them blankly and held out her hands. "I really don't know why I asked," she laughed. "I don't have a clue about card games."

"Are you serious?" Ben asked. "You didn't play cards as a student?"

She shook her head. "Why? Is that what students are supposed to do?"

"Yeah," Ben replied. "That and skip classes and get drunk every night."

"Oh, is that where I went wrong?" she smiled.

"You should join us some night," Miguel suggested. The other guys just looked at each other and rolled their eyes in amusement.

"That would be good," Beth nodded in agreement. "But, I actually came to raid your supplies," she said, turning to look at Ben, hopefully.

"Oh, I see, so it's a business call. What are you after?" he asked.

"I don't suppose you've got any thermal underwear going spare? I've been told it's going to be very cold out there tomorrow."

The guys all chuckled to themselves, knowing full well that Ben did have some thermals going spare after his scheme to sell them off to colonists in the Arctic had backfired dramatically.

"As a matter of fact," Ben laughed. "I do have some lying around. How many pairs?"

"Two – one for me, one for Bill."

"Better make that three," Lucas piped up from behind them. "I'm going out with them too."

"Alrighty," Ben said, and began rooting around in boxes.

Finding some warm clothing was part of Beth's final preparations for their expedition to the surface, due to take place the next day. They had arranged for the seaQuest to rendezvous with a research vessel run by some of their colleagues from Portland State, giving them a chance to catch-up and share the data they'd already gathered. Lucas had expressed an interest in coming too, which she and Bill had no problem with.

"What time are we meeting the boat tomorrow?" Miguel asked.

"About 1100, I think," Beth answered.

"'Cause if you need any extra hands, just let me know. I'll be off watch by then."

"Cool, thanks," she beamed.

"Here we are," Ben announced, holding up an attractive pair of thermals.

"Excellent, thank you," Beth said, taking two from him and throwing another pair to Lucas. "Well, have a great night guys. I'm off to get some sleep…or at least try to – you know how it is," she joked.

"How's that going, anyway?" Ben asked.

Beth groaned. "There are good days, there are bad days, but it's getting better all the time."

"You're looking better," Ben admitted.

"Well, thank you, Lieutenant," she smiled. "Night, guys."

After she'd closed the door behind her, Ben turned to the others and raised his eyebrows. "Lieutenant? Are we not on first name terms yet?"

"Guess not," Lucas commented. "What does she call you?" Lucas asked Miguel.

"Darling? Babyface? Sweetcakes?" Ben teased, causing the others to laugh.

Miguel just sat, nodding along, humouring them. There was no point in pouring fuel on an already smouldering fire.

***

The following morning, they all stood in the launch bay, kitted out in their warm clothes. They were close to the eastern coast of Iceland, and the climate was heading towards winter, so the weather was likely to be quite unforgiving. They weren't planning on being out there for more than six hours, so the thermals would be more than enough to keep them warm for that time.

Beth had jumped at the chance to have Miguel join them, not just to show him more of the work she'd been involved in, but also as a chance to spend time with him off duty.

"I feel like an abominable snowman," Lucas moaned, fidgeting about in all his layers of clothes.

"But a warm abominable snowman, so that's something at least," Kristin added.

Jonathan, who was overseeing their departure, announced that the launch was ready for them. "It'll return in a few hours to collect Doctor Westphalen and Chief Ortiz," he said, as they climbed the stairs to the hatch.

"Are you ok there, Bill?" Beth couldn't help but giggle as she noticed how he could hardly move under all the layers of clothes. His movements had been reduced to not much more than a waddle.

Beside her, Miguel's mouth twitched in amusement. "Here, let me give you a hand," he offered.

"This is ridiculous!" Bill barked. "I have trouble enough moving as it is, without being bundled up like a caterpillar in a cocoon!"

Try as they might, they all couldn't help but laugh.

"Have a good trip," Jonathan smiled and sealed the docking bay doors behind them.

***

The wind was indeed bitter and managed to bite through the layers of clothing they'd bundled themselves in, but thankfully the sea was relatively calm for the meantime.

The _Delilah_, manned by two of Bill's ex-MSc students – Rod Turnbull and Sam Atherton, was a small old coastguard vessel, converted to carry a miniature ROV for deep-sea exploration and research. She was rather rough and ready looking, but Rod assured them that she was sea-worthy.

"Come on, old man!" he told Bill, as he helped them up the ladder and onto the deck.

"Less of that!" Bill grumbled as he reached the top.

"Hey you!" Beth greeted him with a brief embrace, and did the same with Sam, before introducing everyone to each other. "This is Doctor Kristin Westphalen and Lucas Wolenczak of the seaQuest science staff, and this is Chief Petty Officer Miguel Ortiz, the boat's sonar operator."

They all shook hands, warmly.

"Rod and Sam were students of mine a good few years ago, and they haven't quite flown the nest yet – they're _still_ working for me," Bill joked.

"You must be doing something to keep them coming back," Kristin added.

"Well it's not the pay, that's for sure," Rod teased. "Maybe we should go inside, where it's a bit warmer."

"Thought they'd never ask," Lucas mumbled to Miguel, and followed them below deck.

It was a tight squeeze, but they managed to get everyone down into the mess.

"You've lost weight," Rod commented to Beth, quietly. "You look good – what you been doing? Working out?"

"Something like that," she smiled, awkwardly.

Not far away, Miguel scowled, knowing that the reason she'd lost weight wasn't because of the boxing, but as a result of the withdrawal process. He didn't think it looked particularly good, and didn't think another man should be telling her that either.

Bill was keen to look over the data from the project they'd been working on – making a population estimate of the Northern Atlantic Right Whale.

Beth squeezed past Rod to stand next to Miguel. "This is what I was working on before I came onboard. I helped with the analysis work while these two," she nodded cheekily towards Rod and Sam, "were living it up on the ocean."

"Hey!" Sam defended. "There's only so much equipment you can fit on this tug, let alone people!" she insisted.

"How's _Gypsy_?" Beth asked.

"She has good days and bad days," Sam replied.

"Lucas wanted to take a look at her, do you mind?"

"I did?" he asked, looking confused.

"She's our ROV," Rod explained. "Madam here," he said, giving Beth's head an affectionate pat, "insisted on the name."

She grabbed his hand and removed it from her head, scowling at him in fun.

The friendly banter between them made Miguel feel a little more than uncomfortable, and disappointed at the same time. Although he knew Beth felt able to be herself around him, he hadn't seen her so relaxed around anyone else, and it brought out unusual feelings.

"Sam, how about you take Lucas down to see _Gypsy_ while I show the others what we've got so far?" Rod suggested.

"Sure," Sam smiled, indicating for Lucas to follow her.

"I'll go too," Miguel shrugged.

"Are you sure?" Beth asked, surprised.

"Yeah," he smiled, and left with the other two.

"Right then, Mr Turnbull, dazzle me with your data," Bill announced, as ever causing Kristin to chuckle in amusement. His manner was something she never grew tired of.

***

"It certainly makes you appreciate the seaQuest," Kristin commented to Miguel as the launch arrived back in the docking port.

"Yeah, it's not exactly _comfortable_," he mused.

"It shows how dedicated they are though."

"Beth and Bill are just as dedicated," he said, without much thought.

"That's not what I meant," Kristin reassured, standing to climb the ladder as the hatch opened above them, and thinking on how quick he was to leap to the defence.

"So, how was the expedition?" Jonathan asked as they reached the top and began walking down the stairs.

"An eye-opener," Kristin commented. "We've left Beth and Bill pouring over charts, and Lucas tinkering with their ROV. Between you and me, I think he's taking design notes for the '_Stinger_'.

Jonathan laughed, then looked up as the alert lights were illuminated, followed shortly afterwards by the alarm sirens.

"XO to the bridge. Chief Ortiz and Doctor Westphalen to the bridge," O'Neill's voice called across the intercom.

"Let's go," Jonathan ordered, urging them on.

Once they arrived on the bridge, he wasted no time in asking the Captain what was going on.

"Take a seat, Commander and listen up," Nathan ordered. "This is a naval exercise, codename – Founding Fleet. In ten minutes we will rendezvous with three military vessels from the North Sea Confederation, and the exercise will begin," he announced to everyone. "Information is being fed to your stations – read over the mission brief. Commander Ford, Commander Hitchcock, formulate a strategy. Doctor Westphalen, brief and prepare your staff. Mr O'Neill, radio the _Delilah_ and put me through."

"Aye, Sir," O'Neill nodded and began broadcasting. "Research vessel _Delilah_, this is the seaQuest, are you receiving?"

It took a moment, but a voice eventually came through the static. "This is the _Delilah_, go ahead."

"I've got them, Sir," O'Neill told Bridger.

"Thank you, Mr O'Neill. _Delilah_, this is Captain Bridger of the seaQuest. We have been called away on military exercise. This is likely to take us away from your location for about 12 hours. We'd appreciate it if you'd take care of our passengers during that time."

"Understood, Captain, that won't be a problem," Rod assured him.

"Thank you," Bridger paused as Jonathan passed him a sheet. "It seems there's a storm coming in, headed in this direction. But we should return before things get too rocky," he reassured them. "Keep this channel open in case we need to contact you. seaQuest out." He nodded to O'Neill, who ended the transmission. "Alright, people, let's show the North Sea Confed what we're made of," he shouted, buoying their enthusiasm.

***

Despite having a passion for all things technological – being abandoned on a rickety research vessel with nothing but an ROV for entertainment was far short of being a novelty, and Lucas' interest soon began to wane.

Bill was quite happily pouring through the records of charts and data on the small onboard computer, while the others were also suffering from a lack of entertainment. None of them had expected to be out there for so long.

"You know, Iceland has a really spectacular coastline," Rod told them. "Why don't we take the rib and go explore some of the caves along the shore?" he suggested.

Sam's eyes lit up, clearly enthralled by the idea, and she looked to Beth eagerly, who shook her head.

"I don't think so," she said, apologetically, looking through to the next room where Bill was still busy scanning their findings, wrapped up in an extra blanket against the cold. "And I don't think Bill would be up to it either."

"What about you, Luke?" Rod asked.

Lucas cringed – he hated it when people called him that, just to make it sound like they were really friendly, when actually it just sounded weird. "I'll pass, thanks."

Rod and Sam both looked disappointed. After months on the boat, they were looking forward to an excursion that didn't involve looking at whales.

"Just go," Beth told them, a little too harshly. "Moor the boat and take a radio with you. We'll be fine."

"Excellent, you're a gem," Rod said, pointing at her with a smile, as he and Sam thundered up the stairs to get the rib ready.

"I thought you'd want to go with them," Lucas commented.

"I would, if I didn't feel like I was going to lose my lunch," she groaned, sinking to the floor and leaning her head on her knees. "We should just have gone back to the seaQuest with the others," she said, quietly.

***

"We won't be more than a couple of hours!" Rod shouted from the rib, and waved as he started the engine and roared away towards the shoreline with Sam. They'd anchored the boat offshore, being careful to stay clear of the shallow reefs and rocks that littered the coast.

On the deck, Lucas had taken out his camera and was taking pictures. "He was right about one thing – this coast is pretty spectacular," he said, his teeth chattering with the cold wind.

"Yup," Beth said simply, focusing on the rocky outcrops ahead, rather than the bobbing sea all around them.

"Still feeling sick?" Lucas asked.

"Yeah," she breathed, watching their breath disappear in puffs.

"Isn't there anything Westphalen can give you for that?"

"No, Lucas, there isn't anything she can _give_ me, that's the whole point. I'm trying to get off the pills," she snapped, rubbing her hands together.

"Sorry," he grumbled. "I just thought she might be able to give you something to ease the symptoms a little."

"Well she can't," Beth sighed, turning away from the edge and looking in the opposite direction, across the deck. "What did you think of _Gypsy_?"

"She's alright," Lucas shrugged. "Not as impressive as the Probe, or the WSKRS."

"No, I guess not."

"Sam's nice," he said, suddenly.

"Is she indeed?" Beth smiled, and looked at him sidelong.

"Hey," he laughed. "It's not easy being a 16 year old guy on a submarine. You're all right - at least Ortiz looks back at you. Every woman I get a crush on thinks it's _cute_. It's hopeless."

"What about that girl at Node Three?" she asked, moving her legs back and forth to keep the blood flowing. '_Man, it's flipping cold!_' she thought.

"Julianna? I'll probably never see her again."

"You never know."

Lucas grimaced. He appreciated that she was just trying to cheer him up, but he didn't appreciate empty sentiments. You shouldn't tell someone you think something might happen if you didn't actually believe it. He'd experienced that plenty times with his father.

"How old is Sam?"

"Four years older than me and two years younger than Rod," Beth answered, cryptically.

"That would help, if I knew how old you were."

"Twenty three," she answered. She waited a few moments for the sums to work out.

"Nah, too old," he decided. He'd already been there with Hitchcock, and didn't want to wander down a similar path. He looked up and Beth for a reaction, but she had turned ash-white and bolted back inside, heading for the toilet. Deciding he'd better make sure she was alright, he followed her and sat outside the door, trying not to let the sound of her retching affect him. "Are you ok?" he asked once there had been silence for a while.

"Yeah," she groaned.

He could hear the tap running and water splashing, then footsteps heading for the door. He stood up as she turned the handle, to find her, still white-faced, red and puffy eyes, glazed over. "You look great," he told her.

She shook her head and gave his head an affectionate push. "Is it just me, or is this boat rocking a bit more than before?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think the winds are picking up."

She wiped her face and walked up to the bridge to radio the rib. "Rod, are you receiving?" she asked, getting nothing but static in return. "Rod, Sam, this is the _Delilah_, are you receiving?" She waited a few more moments. "And what did you mean about Ortiz looking back at me?" she asked Lucas, who had followed her.

"Nothing," he shrugged.

"Beth? What's up?" Rod crackled back across the radio.

"The winds and surf are picking up – I think we should get away from these reefs before the storm hits."

"It'll be fine," Rod insisted. "Give us another 30 minutes and we'll be back with you."

"Roger that," Beth grumped and signed off. "Stupid!" she mumbled.

***

"I told you things were getting rocky!" Beth yelled to Rod as they hauled the rib back aboard. By the time they'd returned, the waves were kicking up into a strong swell and the boat was struggling to remain in position.

"Where's Bill?" Sam asked.

"He's inside with Lucas!"

"You two secure the rib, and I'll get us underway!" Rod shouted.

"He's still as stubborn as ever!" Beth shouted to Sam after he'd left.

"What did you expect? He has to be! Have you seen the state we're living in?" Sam retorted back. "Pull that line!" she shouted.

In the background, above the increasing sound of the wind and waves, they could hear Rod trying to start the engine, but every time he increased the throttle, the engine cut out. Eventually, it roared into life, and they began to manoeuvre away from the coast, much to Beth's relief.

She headed below to see how Bill and Lucas were doing. Lucas had made some food for them – there were plates of crackers and cheese set out on the table.

"Thanks," she smiled, appreciatively, picking one up and sitting next to him. Her stomach was beginning to growl in protest after losing all its contents earlier, so she thought it was about time she fed it something else.

"You look pale," Bill commented.

"I was sick," she told him, through a mouthful of crumbs.

"I see," he nodded.

The boat gave a lurch as the hit a particularly large wave. They must have made it out past the reefs and into deeper water. Although it was safer than being near the rocks, it wasn't necessarily going to be any more pleasant.

"Maybe I shouldn't be eating anything," she mused, and set down the remainder of her cracker.

"Don't just leave it – no one else wants something you've nibbled on," Bill scolded her.

Lucas suppressed a laugh as, with a scowl, she picked up the cracker and placed it all in her mouth, munching discontentedly.

Once she'd stopped munching, and swallowed down the food, she realised that things were an awful lot more silent than they were a few minutes before. "The engine isn't running, is it?" she asked.

"Doesn't sound like it," Lucas answered.

They both looked up, as Rod came thundering down the stairs, soaked with the rain, and headed down towards the engine room.

"What's going on?" Beth asked, following after him, anxiously.

"We've got a dodgy fuel pump motor. It's happened before, it's nothing we can't fix," he said peeling off his jacket and grabbing his box of tools.

"It's happened before?" Beth asked, incredulously.

"Yes!" he snapped back.

"If you fixed it, it shouldn't be happening again!"

"Well it is, now shut-up and let me get on with it!"

"Argh!" she yelled, and climbed down the ladder after him. "What do you need?" she asked.

"I need you to get out of here and leave me to it!" he shouted, as they both stumbled backwards with the boat, helpless against the motion of the gathering storm.

"Get out of the way!" he told her.

"This boat is a piece of junk!" she commented, looking around her.

Rod threw his head up, furious. "Easy for you to say, living in your five star accommodation!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means it's not our fault the funding wouldn't stretch to a better boat! Apparently there was a shortage this year!" he bellowed. "This is what the rest of us have to deal with while you two are off living it up on the ocean!" he mocked.

They both stumbled backwards again, this time Beth was hurled against the wall, hitting her head, hard. She gripped it and looked at Rod, who appeared worried.

"What?" she asked, slightly disorientated.

"ROD!!!!" Sam screamed from up on deck.

The boat shuddered once more, this time with a distinctive metallic '_clang_', sending them sprawling to the floor.

"That didn't feel like a wave," Rod commented, quietly.

It wasn't long after they'd picked themselves up that the boat lurched and gave an almighty shudder as she was tossed against the reefs around the coastline. They could feel the hull straining as it scraped along the rocks, threatening to buckle.

"Get up the ladder!" Rod shouted over the sound of creaking metal.

He threw down his tools and dragged Beth to the ladder, forcing her up, all the time, staring at the hull below him. As he watched, the whole boat seemed to tip upwards, before falling down onto the reef with such force that it broke through the decaying hull, sending water gushing over the floor. He flew up the ladder behind Beth and hauled Bill from his seat.

"Everybody up on deck!" he shouted. "Beth, grab jackets, blankets, anything warm, and as much food as you can. Lucas, help me!" he ordered, and as Lucas took Bill's other arm, they carried him rapidly up onto the deck of the boat. "Sam! Leave the wheel – we're hulled! Get the rib out. We have to go NOW!"

He left Bill with Beth and Lucas and pushed past Sam as she left the bridge, heading for the radio. Fingers trembling, and struggling to maintain his footing as the _Delilah _began to founder, he desperately called out a mayday signal.

"Mayday, mayday, this is the research vessel _Delilah_ calling the seaQuest DSV, mayday mayday! We have complete engine failure, and we are hulled, going down by the bow, fast! Mayday, mayday, I repeat we are going down, position unknown! This is the research vessel _Delilah_ calling the seaQuest DSV, mayday, mayday! DOES ANYBODY HEAR ME????"


	8. Chapter 8

"Biometric analysis of the container is complete, Captain. The outer surface doesn't appear to be compromised," Hitchcock informed him, circling the offending canister with the HR Probe.

Ortiz confirmed her analysis. "WSKR particle scan also complete, Sir. No leakage detected."

"Good," Bridger commented. "Mr O'Neill, please give Lieutenant Krieg the all clear."

"Aye, Sir," O'Neill nodded and radioed through to the Sea Crab that Krieg was waiting in. "Lieutenant, you have a green light for launch."

"Roger that, launching in five, four, three…"

On the bridge, Ortiz positioned Mother to follow the Sea Crab as it made its' way out towards the dumped canister. Containing potentially deadly chemicals, it needed to be secured and taken back onboard the seaQuest to prevent it causing a hazard to local sea life.

While the vessels from the North Sea Confederation, under the command of Captain William Ohara, chased down the illegal dumpers, it was seaQuest's job to secure the canister and clean up any contamination.

"This is Sea Crab three, I'm in position. Preparing to extend grappling arm," Krieg informed them. "Canister is locked and secured, returning to base."

"Doctor Westphalen," Ford called across the intercom. "Lieutenant Krieg has secured the canister and will be with you shortly."

"Thank you, Commander," she replied, standing ready with her team to oversee the isolation of the hazardous materials.

"Keep a watch on his progress, Commander," Bridger told Hitchcock.

"Aye, Sir," she nodded and moved the Probe to travel parallel with the Sea Crab.

"Captain!" O'Neill suddenly barked. "I'm receiving a distress call, very weak, breaking up. It's difficult to make out, but it sounds like a vessel in distress, caught up in the storm."

"Put it on speaker," Bridger ordered.

The crew listened as they tried to make out the message.

"trouble…heavy seas…mayday…" were the only distinguishable words.

"Can't we get it any clearer than that?" Ford asked.

"Captain," Ortiz interrupted. "Lieutenant Krieg is onboard."

"As is the Probe, Captain," Hitchcock added.

"Understood, thank you. Mr O'Neill?"

"This is the best I can do, Captain," he said, annoyed, and played the message across for them, each time different words becoming clear.

"engine failure…three miles…coastline…heavy seas…mayday!…seaQuest…this is the _Delilah_!"

On hearing the name of the boat, every figure on the bridge froze, realising it was their people in danger. Miguel's mind spun and his heart hammered as he waited with everyone else to see whether any more information would come across, but the same words were just repeated over.

"Commander, get me Captain Ohara!" Bridger ordered.

"Aye, Sir. Mr O'Neill?" Ford shouted.

"I've got him, Sir," O'Neill replied.

"Captain Bridger. We're still in pursuit of the second vessel. How's your progress?" Ohara asked.

"The canister is secured, no leakage," he informed him.

"Good work."

"Captain, we've just received a mayday from a vessel that some of my crew is working on. Without sounding too overly dramatic, it sounds as if they require immediate assistance."

"I see. Are you suggesting we abandon the exercise?"

"That's exactly what I'm suggesting. With your assistance we could get these people to safety in half the time."

There was a pause as Ohara considered his decision. "Agreed. I'll contact the other vessels. Send us your course details and we'll follow on after you. Ohara out."

Bridger and Ford both looked at each other with relief and Bridger nodded in confirmation.

"Helm, turn us around and take us to the _Delilah's_ last known co-ordinates. Doctor Westphalen," he called to her through the intercom. "The exercise is scrapped, we've just received a mayday from the _Delilah_ and we're heading in her direction. I suggest you prepare med-bay for possible casualties."

"Understood," she replied, sharply.

Nathan could almost see her, leaping into action and directing her staff to their relevant positions and roles. "Keep sharp people," he told the crew on the bridge. "Our exercise just became a rescue mission."

***

It took them an excruciating length of time to reach the _Delilah's_ last known position. Being buffeted by the strong currents slowed their progress considerably. The vessels on the surface were having similar problems, and had informed them that the storm had kicked up quite a swell.

However, having now reached the location, the _Delilah_ was no-where to be seen, or detected.

The mayday signal had mentioned 'three miles', so Bridger positioned the seaQuest as close inshore as possible and sent out four WSKRS to sweep the surrounding waters.

Ortiz was single-mindedly focused on the job – receiving information from four satellites instead of the usual three, and having to place his concern for his friends safety to the back of his mind, as difficult as that was.

With such a broad search plain, it didn't take long for one of the WSKRS to pick something up. He switched all his screens to display what Junior was detecting. It was the signal beacon from the _Delilah_, but something about it didn't sound right, and when he realised what it was, his throat closed over in horror, and his heart pumped even harder.

"Captain," he called out, subdued. "Junior picked up the _Delilah's_ signal beacon. It's sub-surface," he told them, receiving horrified looks in return.

"Get me a WSKR view!" Bridger barked.

On the central screen, Junior's view panned out to reveal the storm battered hulk of the _Delilah_ lying submerged on the shallow rocks not far offshore.

Ortiz took Junior in closer, scanning the decks for signs of anything that would tell them what had happened, and hoping they wouldn't find their friends…not yet anyway.

As Junior moved round to the port side of the vessel, they all breathed a tentative sigh of relief as they saw that the rib was missing – perhaps there was a chance they'd offloaded before she went down.

"Eyes open, everyone!" Bridger shouted. "Keep the WSKRS searching, Mr Ortiz. We're not giving up until we find them."

He nodded, and tried to turn his mind back to finding them. It had been eight hours since they'd left to go on exercise – a long time to be out on the sea in trouble, and as time passed, he found his thoughts distracting him more. Early morning out on the North Sea in the middle of a storm – the temperature would be near freezing. At least when Ford and the others had been stranded in 'the triangle', they'd known they weren't in too much peril, and they'd be found eventually. At least the water had been warm. This time though…

He selected an internal comms channel and spoke through his headset to the communications station, where Tim was working.

"Hey," he spoke quietly. "You getting anything?"

"Nothing," Tim replied, dismally.

Miguel sighed. "I can't stop thinking about what could happen to them."

"Don't. Do what you told me when we were looking for those French kids. Concentrate on finding them." He waited for a reply, but didn't get one. "Miguel, she'll be fine," Tim assured him.

"I'm not just thinking about her. Bill's an old man and they're out in the cold. And it's Lucas!" Miguel snapped.

"I know, but she'll be fine."

But as more time went by, that thought became harder to believe. The North Sea Confed vessels on the surface were struggling in the conditions. It was pitch black and the sea was boiling, so they eventually had to pull back and let the seaQuest take over.

Thankfully, just as hopes were reaching a low, Tim began picking something up through the relentless noise of the waves above them. A sequence of beeps, short and long. Tim smiled as he realised it was the same sound he'd heard when they'd found Ford. Lucas had obviously managed to rig another camera to send out a signal. One long, two short. One short. One short, one long, two short. Two short. One short, one long, two short. One short, one long. Four short.

"_Delilah_," Bridger grinned in relief, and everyone on the bridge erupted into a fury of shouts and claps upon realising they were all right. But the excitement was short-lived as the sound abruptly stopped and didn't continue.

"Commander, get up to the surface, and take Krieg with you!" Bridger ordered.

"Aye, Sir," Ford nodded and ran from the bridge towards the launch bay.

Bridger informed Captain Ohara of the rib's location and the surface vessels moved in to assist. Still, it took what felt like an age for any news to reach them.

As Ford radioed in, everyone fell silent.

"Captain, we've got our people onboard. The NSC cruiser _York Minster_ is taking the other two back to Reykjavik."

"How are they?"

Bridger could hear Ford sigh in apprehension. "We'll need Doctor Westphalen standing by – Doctor Briers isn't doing so well."

"What about Lucas and Miss Allen?"

"They're not great either."

"Understood, Commander. We'll take care of it."

Miguel and Tim exchanged a glance, as the tension aboard stepped up another notch.

***

By the time the launch had docked, an anxious crowd had gathered in the launch bay – all eager to see how Lucas and the others were doing.

Miguel and Tim, filled with concern, hadn't hesitated in following Katie and the Captain as they headed off the bridge, and they stood, breathlessly watching as the docking bay doors swung open, and Jonathan appeared, helped by another sailor, supporting a listless Doctor Briers.

They carried him down the stairs towards a waiting stretcher, before Jonathan bounded back up to the launch.

"That's it, easy, easy. Bill? Open your eyes for me, Bill," Kristin spoke sternly as she reached down and pinched his arms. "No response to stimuli. Looks like he's in stage-three. Get him to med-bay and start him on heated saline," she ordered.

Miguel and Katie watched as Bill was wheeled past them, his skin an alarming shade of blue. They snapped their heads back to the stairs, where Jonathan had reappeared, this time carrying Beth's limp body in his arms – barely conscious, her eyes unfocused.

"Oh my God," Miguel exclaimed and thrust through the throng of people to crouch by her side, as she too, was lain on a stretcher and examined by Kristin. He tentatively reached out to take her hand and flinched as he felt how cold she was. "She's freezing," he said, worried.

"That's a good sign, believe me," Kristin told him.

Joshua, who was assisting to co-ordinate the medical team, appeared beside them, concern also plain on his face, which surprised both Kristin and Miguel, considering he hadn't shown much interest in Beth since finding out about her addiction. The accident appeared to be opening everyone's eyes to what was important.

"How is she?" he asked.

Bordering on stage-three – go with her to med-bay," Kristin barked.

"I'm going with you," Miguel announced, leaving no one in any doubt that he wouldn't be stopped, so Kristin simply nodded.

She quickly turned her attention to Lucas, who was being helped down the stairs by Ben. He appeared to be far more lucid – able to move his legs, and was more aware of his surroundings.

"Captain?" he asked, as he lay on a stretcher and Nathan stood above him.

"Don't talk, Lucas, save your energy," Kristin told him, sternly.

"Stay strong, kiddo!" Nathan shouted after him as he, too, was wheeled away. Before Kristin could hurry after them, he caught her by the arm. "Tell it to me straight."

Kristin sighed, reluctant to admit the truth to herself, let alone to Nathan. "They're all hypothermic – Lucas is in stage two, Beth is stage two, bordering on three, and Bill is stage three. Stage two is more easily reversed, so Lucas should be alright. But if we don't work quickly, we could lose the other two," she said sharply, before turning away from him, unable to face the fear she had brought to his eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

For two hours, Nathan hadn't been allowed entrance to the med-bay, partly because Kristin didn't want his presence distracting her, and partly because she didn't want his presence distracting Lucas.

He, along with the other two, was beginning to recover. Lucas was doing the best of them all, having been able to swallow some warm liquid, which helped a great deal. He was also capable of holding a conversation, which Kristin took to be a very good sign.

They had prevented Beth slipping into stage three, and she was now sleeping, with warm saline being pumped round her body. She'd managed a few responses before slipping back into unconsciousness. The worst of them all, Bill, hadn't deteriorated any further, which was a blessing, and meant there was perhaps still a chance of bringing him back.

Upon hearing that, Nathan breathed a sigh of relief. Kristin knew he would never have forgiven himself had anything happened to them.

"Why were they all affected so differently?" he asked.

"Bill is 81, Nathan – that was is self-explanatory. Older people can't keep warm as well as the rest of us," Kristin explained. "Because Beth is going through a drug withdrawal, her body can't control its' temperature as well as it would normally. She would have been in Lucas' condition otherwise. Have you heard about the others?" she asked.

Nathan nodded. "They're doing well – no fatalities."

"That's a relief," she sighed, looking over at Lucas, where he sat joking with Ben. "You need to thank him," she told Nathan, sternly.

"What?"

"That thermal underwear likely saved their lives," she said, tartly.

Nathan glanced over at the two of them and nodded. "Keep me informed," he said, gripping her arm lightly, before heading back to the bridge.

***

She just had to keep telling herself that they meant well, asking how she was doing, what had it been like and whether she needed anything. But even so, the constant stream of visitors had done nothing but put her in a foul mood.

'_Couldn't they just leave me in peace?_' she thought, tucking the blankets around her.

For a moment, she closed her eyes and relished in the calm stillness that she always felt in an empty room, and exhaustion began to overcome her, slowing her breathing and forcing her onwards towards sleep, but the fear associated with that dark place snapped her back to reality, and suddenly the room didn't appear so calm anymore. So it was with a genuinely relieved grin, that she greeted Miguel as he stuck his head through the door.

"Now there's a sight for sore eyes," he joked. "I know you're an attention seeker, but this is taking it a bit far, don't you think?" She simply scowled at him, knowing there was underlying concern beneath the teasing. "At least you got some sleep though," he said, seating himself on her bed.

"If this is what I have to go through every time I want some shut-eye, I'd gladly go without. That was too much. I really thought we were goners," she admitted.

"So did we – you really scared us for a while there," he said, echoing her sentiment.

There was silence between them for a moment, as they appreciated how lucky the outcome of the situation had been.

"You know, I've been out on boats before, and I always thought we knew what we were doing. But, being on _this_ boat, and seeing you guys in action…we didn't have a clue!" she mused. "Do you know how much it sucks, to have had to be _that_ close to death before realising how much you've actually got?" She paused, playing with her fingers. "I wish I hadn't spent so much time running away from things."

"Hey," he said, placing his hand, tentatively, on her leg. "Don't beat yourself up. You're trying, we all see that." As he listened to her, he realised that all the layers were slowly peeling away, and perhaps, finally, she was finding her way back to herself. "How's Bill?" he asked.

"I think he's going to be ok, thank God," she sighed.

Miguel nodded in shared relief. "So," he said, trying to lighten the mood. "Can I get you anything? Some ice-cream maybe?" he joked.

Beth laughed warmly. "Thanks, Miguel, but I think I'll pass.

He grinned back at her, silently delighted that, for the first time he could remember, she'd used his first name.

***

Almost losing the person who knew her best had hit Beth hard, so she had taken to spending as much time with him as she could.

His health had been set back substantially by the accident, leaving him tired and confused, as his body tried to recover. But during his lucid periods he was so much like his old self, talking animatedly about the project, that it was easy to forget about his dementia.

He still had a lot of knowledge to impart, so Beth relished sitting with him and listening to his tales, regardless of the fact she'd heard them a dozen times already. Whether to chat about the research, allow him to reminisce about his childhood, or to talk about events on the ship; she didn't care. She just wanted to be with him.

She especially enjoyed it when Kristin and Nathan joined them, allowing a good discussion to flow. On one of those nights, all four were sitting together, enjoying a discussion about the delights of diving.

"You're lucky, Nathan," Bill had said. "You've kept yourself in shape. There's no way anyone would get me squeezed into one of those bodysuits now," he chuckled.

"I have to admit though," Kristin said, "that's one of the things I've particularly enjoyed about being onboard – getting to experience all these beautiful undersea habitats first hand."

"Do you not dive, Miss Allen?" Nathan asked.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I never learnt. Just never had the urge."

"You don't know what you're missing," Kristin told her. "Not long before you came onboard, Nathan and I got the chance to witness first hand how much coral reefs can regenerate if given the proper care and attention."

"Yes, it's amazing what nature can do given the right chance," Bill mused.

It was getting late, and Kristin decided she'd better get off to bed. Once she'd left, Bill decided he'd better do the same, so Beth helped him into bed and made to leave when he'd made his biggest mistake to date.

"You're a kind girl, Amanda my child, a kind girl," he sighed, before turning over and settling down to sleep.

Beth turned with a pained expression on her face and quietly bid him goodnight.

Stunned and upset, she made her way to the solitude of the moon pool, where there was always a friendly face waiting to greet her.

She turned on the speakers, letting the sounds of the humpback calls fill the room, and sat on the edge of the pool with Darwin bobbing beside her.

"Beth sad, why?" he asked.

"I feel alone," she said simply and reached down to pet him.

"Darwin and Lucas Beth's friends."

"Yes, I know. But there's a lot people don't know about me and it's hard to keep it all inside. Even harder now I'm losing Bill." Her voice cracked.

"Swim," Darwin suggested, which seemed to be his answer to everything. But for once, it was the right answer, and she disappeared to get changed, returning a few minutes later and plunging into the water beside him.

Even with one conscious mind still floating around her, being immersed in the water numbed her senses, giving her the feeling of complete isolation – something she still craved occasionally, despite having got used to the cramped living conditions onboard. Every thirty seconds or so, she'd bob back to the surface to breathe, before disappearing again, often to find Darwin staring at her inquisitively. The silence was soothing, but couldn't distract her from Bill. Until now, she'd purposely ignored the, ever more apparent, fact that someday soon, he wasn't going to recognise her, and she'd essentially have lost him. What she would do when that day came, she wasn't sure. She surfaced again to take a breath and was startled as she felt a presence behind her, and spun round to see who it was.

"Hey," Miguel said as he walked over and took a seat on the edge of the pool. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah," she smiled, wiping the water from her face. "It's…quiet under there."

He wasn't sure how to take those words, so just watched in silence as she got out of the water, wrapped a towel around herself and sat next to him.

"Haven't seen you around much," he commented.

"I've been trying to spend evenings with Bill," she explained, and feeling the need to talk to someone about it, launched straight into what had happened that evening. "He, um, thought I was his daughter tonight."

"Woah," Miguel said, quietly.

"Yeah," Beth nodded. "And it gets better – she died when she was my age…10 years ago. She was his only family."

"Ah," he said, cringing.

"I really didn't see that one coming," she sighed, wrapping the towel tightly around herself for comfort. "As morbid as it is, I think that's why we're so close – because neither of us have any family, we make up for it with each other."

"That's not morbid. It's nice that you have such a good relationship."

"Do you have a big family?" she asked him, suddenly.

"I do actually, a very big family. Aunts, uncles, cousins, the works." She smiled, sadly, clearly still thinking about Bill. "What are you going to do about him?" he asked.

"I don't know. I know we decided that he should stay but he's never made that big a mistake before, and I'm worried that this is the start of things to come," she sighed. "I don't know what's best for him."

Miguel gazed at her sympathetically. "The best thing for him now is to be surrounded by people who care for him," he told her, and reached out a hand to stroke her back, reassuringly.

Gazing back, Beth was grateful for his ever-comforting presence. "Thank you. You're always saying the right thing."

***

Beth hadn't been the only one hit hard by the accident. Although fully recovered physically, Lucas appeared unusually introverted and uninterested in what was going on around him, something which hadn't gone un-noticed by his friends on the crew.

After some deliberation, Ben and Tim decided to ask him about it at mess.

"You alright? You've been away on another world since the accident. Even more so than usual," Ben joked.

"I've just been doing a lot of thinking. You'll excuse me _that_ won't you?" he snapped.

Tim and Ben glanced at one another, silently understanding that there was no way anyone could come that close to dying without doing some serious soul searching. They just felt it was perhaps a bit much for a 16 year to have to deal with all at once.

"Anything you want to share?" Tim asked.

"Yeah, actually. I once told someone that you can't help people until you get to know them. How well do we actually know each other?" The two men fell silent, astounded by the profoundness of the question. "I mean, we spend all our time stuck on this boat, but we never talk about things that matter. We should all get together some night and just talk," he suggested.

Eating his meal, Ben contemplated the idea and, much like the food, didn't find it too unpalatable. "How about a dare night?" he asked.

"A dare night?" Tim asked in disbelief, not entirely sure he liked the sound of it.

"Yeah," Ben smiled, pleased with the idea.

"I really don't care, so long as we're together," Lucas said, sternly.

"Alright, we'll work something out," Ben promised.

"And I think we should invite Beth," Lucas added. "After what we went through up there…it wouldn't be right to leave her out."

Again, Tim and Ben looked at each other, and lowered their heads in silent agreement. Despite their initial apprehensions about having her remain onboard, she'd done herself proud, and hadn't mistreated Miguel, as they'd feared she would.

As the idea had a chance to settle, both men began to agree that it might be just what they all needed.

***

It had been difficult to get everyone to agree, and to get everyone in the same place at the same time, but Ben had managed it, and a few days later they all sat round a table in the mess hall, ready to begin.

He sat with two piles of cards in front of him – one pile of truth cards, and one pile of dare cards.

"Let's start with this," Ben announced, picking up a truth card. "And if you don't want to answer it, you do a dare. Simple as that."

"Alright, so what's the question?" Tim asked.

"Ask four players how many people they've kissed," he read. "And that question goes to, Miguel, Lucas, Katie…and Beth."

All four glanced at each other uncomfortably.

"Five, including Juliana," Lucas admitted.

"That's my boy, see that wasn't hard. How about you, Kate?"

"Dare," Katie said sternly. She hated when he addressed her with such familiarity in front of the crew.

"Oh, come on, Commander, there's no shame in it, eh Lucas?" Ben teased.

"It's personal and I want it to stay that way. Dare," she repeated.

There was silence as they all tried to think of a dare worthy of the Lieutenant Commander.

"I've got one," Tim piped up. "I dare you to steal Dalton's underwear."

Katie looked aghast. "From his room?"

Tim smirked. "No, from the shower."

"How do you know he's in the shower?" Katie quipped.

"Because he just left, and he said so," Tim quipped back.

"That's no good, O'Neill, she'll enjoy it too much," Ben joked.

"Nevertheless, he's said it now, and I accept," she said, getting up from her seat, and leaving the mess. It wasn't ten minutes before she was back. She strutted proudly towards them.

"Where're the boxers?" Ben asked.

Katie raised her hand and flung them through the air with impressive accuracy, ensuring they landed directly in front of him. "Briefs, actually," she corrected, and sat back down, glancing smugly in his direction. She always did like to impress him.

Ben looked at them with disgust and used his knife to move them off the table. Once they were on the floor, he looked up at them all as if to say, '_That's better, where were we_?' "So…Beth?" he asked.

"How many men have I kissed?"

"_People_, not men, _people_," he corrected.

"That depends where," she grinned, playing Ben at his own game. "Are we talking cheek, lips…elsewhere?" The others laughed loudly. "The answer is one," she said, causing the laughter to cease, abruptly.

"One?" Jonathan asked, surprised.

"Yeah," she said, grabbing the bowl of popcorn from Lucas.

"Who was he?" Katie asked.

"A guy I grew up with. I haven't seen him since I was 16 or so. I think he's some hotshot Lieutenant in the UEO now."

The answer surprised Katie. "That's seven years ago. You're telling me you haven't been on a date or kissed a guy in seven years?"

"I said I hadn't kissed anybody – I've been on dates. Not very successful ones, but dates nonetheless," she shrugged.

"How about a name?" Miguel said.

"I'm not going that far – it's your turn anyway."

Miguel groaned. "Dare."

The others all laughed. "Come on, Casanova!" Jonathan teased.

"No, I'm not going there! What's my dare?"

Ben picked up a card from the pile and laughed as he read it. "Kiss the player to your left!"

"It does _not_ say that!" Miguel said, looking towards Beth, anxiously, wondering how she would react, being the player sitting to his left.

"It does!" Ben defended, turning the card round to show them.

"This is meant to be his dare, not mine!" Beth laughed, however Miguel looked slightly disappointed. "I didn't mean it personally, Miguel," she said, apologetically, and leaned in to plant an affectionate kiss on his cheek.

He blushed, shocked, then returned the gesture by kissing her softly on her forehead.

"There – done," he said, proudly, silencing everyone. "Whose turn is it?" he asked.

"Mine, and I choose dare," Tim answered.

Ben passed the cards along to Jonathan, who picked out a dare. "Give the player to your right, your best seduction line," he laughed.

Sitting to his right, Miguel groaned as Tim turned and looked, lovingly, into his eyes.

"Shall we, um, go into the woods and pick some mushrooms?" he asked, barely keeping a straight face. "I'm sorry!" he said, as everyone burst out laughing. "I saw it on a movie last night. I couldn't think of anything else! Whose turn is it anyway?" he asked.

"Mine," Ford said nervously. "I choose truth."

There was an expectant silence, as they waited for Ben to read out the card. "This one is for everyone. It asks, what quality do you most like and dislike about the person sitting to your left?" He cleared his throat, sensing this was going to be an interesting round. "I'll go first I suppose," he said, turning to face Lucas.

"Oh great," Lucas groaned, making them all smile.

"I don't like the way you put yourself down sometimes," he admitted. "And I like your enthusiasm. I wish I had a bit more of that."

Lucas accepted the answer, thoughtfully, and turned to Tim. "I…don't like it when you try to talk to me about things I'm really not interested in," he said, and everyone exploded into laughter. Tim was well known for rambling on about subjects which were mind-numbingly dull to anyone but him. "But, I like the way you care about everyone around you."

Tim nodded, gratefully. "Thanks, Lucas."

Miguel grimaced as Tim, perhaps the person on the boat who knew him best, turned to give his answer. "I dislike your over abundance of confidence, and I like your humour."

"That's fair," he commented, turning apprehensively to face Beth, who was wincing in anticipation. He already knew what he was going to say. "You expect a lot from people sometimes, without giving much back yourself."

There was a sharp intake of breath around the table.

"Yeah, that's true," she said.

"But, when you're not biting my head off," he joked affectionately. "You're a really warm and honest person."

Next to Beth, Katie waited in anticipation to hear what Beth would say about her.

"I don't like how judgemental you can be about things you don't agree with," she admitted. "But, I like how you're willing to take a chance on people."

Across the table, Ben sat gazing in her direction, and they caught each others eyes for a second, making her feel uncomfortable. So, she quickly looked over at Jonathan, who was waiting for her answer. "You're really narrow minded," she said simply, rousing more laughter from everyone at the table. "But, you're sure of yourself, and I admire that."

Jonathan nodded, and being last to go, he turned to Ben. "You have _way_ too big a sense of humour," he said – something Ben already knew he disliked. "But, I admire the fact you accept your faults and try to change them."

"Thank you, Commander," Ben nodded, gratefully. There was silence for a moment, while everyone contemplated the answers that had been given. "Ok, Beth, what'll it be?"

"I just went!" she exclaimed.

"Everyone just went," Katie smiled, beside her.

"Fine, truth."

"What's the last lie you told, and to who?" Ben asked.

"Wow," Beth gasped, echoing everyone's sentiments. It was a rather appropriate question, considering her history. "That would be to myself, and the lie would be that I have nothing worth living for," she said, sadly.

Everyone around the table remained silent, sensing there was more to come.

"I…was on a fairly rapidly descending spiral when I came aboard, and I had convinced myself that it didn't matter what happened to me because I had nothing to look forward to. When you go for so long without a proper night's sleep, reality just doesn't exist anymore and it's taken a lot of work to be able to see what's actually in front of me. Being here, and being around you all, and nearly…dying," she joked, "has certainly helped a lot, so thanks, I guess," she said, tentatively, eyes downcast, avoiding them all.

It was possibly the most open and honest thing any of them, with the exception of Miguel, had heard her say, so no one knew quite how to respond.

"You're welcome," Jonathan said, simply, speaking for them all.

"Which brings me to my next dare – Jonathan – spell out Katie's personality using the letters of her name. And use Katie, otherwise we'll be here forever," Ben teased.

"Why do I get this one?" Jonathan moaned.

"Because it's funny," Miguel joked. While the others were focused on Jonathan, he glanced down at Beth and made sure to catch her eye, and give her a reassuring smile.

"Alright, Kind, Adventurous, Tactless," he said, making everyone gasp in shock and laugh at his boldness. Katie just nodded along, humouring him. "Independent and Elegant," he finished.

"_Elegant_?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"You have your moments," Jonathan grinned.

Ben cleared his throat, picking up the next card – a truth this time. "This is another group question. What's the best thing about being a man / woman? Lucas, you can start this one."

"Me? Ok, I guess it's being able to get away with a whole lot more."

"What do you mean?" Katie asked.

"Well, if I leave my room in a mess, everyone just says it's because I'm a guy. Because I'm a guy they don't expect anything less," he grinned.

The other men around the table agreed whole-heartedly.

"Wait until you've got a wife following you around the house, Lucas, then you won't get off with it," Beth teased, grabbing a handful of chips from the bowl in the centre of the table.

"You'd better believe it," Ben commented before stopping to realise what he was saying.

Katie glared at him in disbelief. If there hadn't been so many feet under the table she'd have slammed her heel down on his toes. Instead she gave her answer to the question. It was a pretty hard one to answer, when she thought about it. What thing did she enjoy that was unique to being a woman? Since most of the things she enjoyed were things she also shared with her male counterparts, she answered with the thing she hadn't yet experienced, but imagined it to be the most wonderful thing a woman could ever go through. "Women get to have children," she said, simply.

All the men looked at her, incredulously. "And you consider that a good thing?" Tim asked.

"Yeah," she nodded.

None of them dared to challenge her, sensing the strong feelings she had on the issue. Sometimes she wished she didn't have to be their commanding officer and could just be their friend. Camaraderie was encouraged, but in order to maintain military discipline she had to keep her distance. That way she'd still have their respect, and respect was needed on a big boat like this.

"Best thing about being a guy is being able to eat as much as we like without being accused of being pre-menstrual, pregnant or depressed," Miguel joked, raising a laugh from the other guys.

"And, we don't have to queue to use the restroom," Tim added.

"That's just gross," Beth grimaced.

"We see everything in black and white – we don't analyse everything to death," Jonathan commented, tempting an argument, but the two women just stayed quiet.

"I think the best thing about being a woman is being able to appreciate all the smaller things guys tend to miss," Beth retorted.

"Like what?" Jonathan asked.

"Well, have you ever stood in the middle of a forest and closed your eyes and just listened to the sound the wind makes as it blows through the leaves?"

"No," he laughed. "Why would anyone do that?"

"Because it's beautiful, if you'd take the time to notice."

"So are cars. Guys get to appreciate things like cars, and sports and women," Ben answered.

"Guys can appreciate women too much, and get away with it," Beth replied, tartly.

"Not all of them get away with it," Katie teased.

"Why is everyone looking at me?" Miguel exclaimed.

"Casanova in the corner," Ben joked.

"Alright, alright, this round is over. Jonathan…you up for a dare?" Miguel asked.

"Yeah, go for it. What you got in mind?"

"I challenge you to a piggyback race. From here, along the decks, down alternate stairwells to the moon pool," Miguel grinned cheekily at his superior officer.

"Alright, Ortiz, you're on!" he said, shaking hands with him across the table.

"Does anyone have a coin?" Miguel asked.

"What for?" Ben asked, raking in his pockets.

"There are only two women, we'll have to flip for ya," Miguel smiled cheekily at Beth and Katie, who simply smirked at each other.

For once Katie didn't mind having another woman among the mix. In fact it was nice to have backup.

"Heads, I get Beth, tails, you get Katie," Miguel said cheekily, as Ben smothered a laugh.

Without realising what he was agreeing to, Jonathan simply shrugged and watched eagerly to see which side had landed face up.

"Tails, you get Katie, I get Beth," Miguel smiled.

Realisation flickered across Jonathan's face. "Hey!" But Miguel and Beth were already making their way out into the corridor.

"I hope you ate a light dinner," Miguel teased, referring to her motion sickness, prompting Beth to punch him jokingly on the arm.

"Just don't bounce me up and down and we won't have a problem," she told him.

"Talk about a turn off," Ben joked as he walked past with the others on their way down to the moon pool to witness the end of the race.

"Pay no attention," Katie told her.

Once they'd made it down to the moon pool, Lucas called Miguel on his PAL. "Get on your marks," he announced.

Jonathan and Miguel positioned themselves at the end of the corridor, and the two women jumped onto their backs.

Beth wrapped her arms round Miguel and held on, as he gripped her legs securely.

"GO!" Lucas suddenly yelled, prompting them to set off, bounding along the corridor towards the stairs. They could barely keep going for laughter. Beth stuck out a hand and tickled Jonathan under the armpit. He exclaimed and dropped his arm to bat her off, almost dropping Katie in the process, causing them to fall back.

"That's cheating, Allen!" Katie yelled after them.

"Faster, faster!" Beth giggled furiously.

"Do you want to drive?" Miguel panted, as they carefully climbed down the stairs and set off again along the deck. Beth cheekily gave him a slap on the rump. "Ah! I'll so get you for that," he said. Jonathan and Katie were catching up again.

"Miguel, Miguel, Miguel," Beth pointed in the direction of the mag-lev. He stopped outside the doors and Beth pushed the button.

"Come on," he said. It arrived and they sat down just as the doors closed and the other two thundered past.

Beth sat pinned behind Miguel, her arms around his waist and chin resting on his back. He had both her hands clasped in his. Her heart pumped, but whether it was from exertion or something else, she wasn't sure.

Unbeknown to her, Miguel was suffering the same dilemma. Having Beth wrapped around him had stirred up all sorts of thoughts in his head – thoughts that had been there for some time and he'd never found the right way to deal with. He'd tried to shake them off, but they remained there, lingering in the background. In the meantime, he remained clasping her hands, their fingers ever so slightly entwined.

The doors opened in the nick of time, just as Katie and Jonathan reached the same corridor.

"Ah, no!" Miguel groaned as he grasped Beth's legs and lifted her onto his back again. They set off at full pelt along the corridor, giggling.

"Cheats!!" Jonathan yelled from behind them.

They rounded the corner to see Lucas, Tim and Ben waiting with Kristin. She laughed furiously at the sight of them, and they all whooped and clapped as Beth and Miguel reached the moon pool first.

"She stayed on my back the entire time, therefore it was still a piggyback!" Miguel insisted.

Jonathan shrugged and set Katie down. It was all in the name of fun, so he wasn't about to argue. Katie on the other hand, would have caused a fuss, had it not been for the stern look Jonathan gave her, causing her to bite her tongue.

Miguel, still with Beth on his back walked up the ramp to the edge of the moon pool and dangled her over the water.

"Don't you dare, Miguel Ortiz!!" she yelled as he released his grasp. She held onto his back like a limpet as he tried to peel her off. She dropped to the water, but not before grabbing Miguel's shirt, pulling him in after her.

He surfaced, shocked, next to Beth who was equally annoyed. "What was that for?" she exclaimed

"You slapped my ass!" he yelled, throwing water in her face, and prompting a full on splash battle. Darwin appeared and sprayed them both.

"Beth and Ortiz, swim," he said happily, raising laughter from them all.

Beth swam over to Miguel and climbed on his back again. Without much thought, he naturally took her hands.

"Lucas swim?" Darwin asked.

"Yeah, why not Lucas?" Jonathan suggested and winked at the other two men. They all lifted Lucas off the ground and hurled him into the pool, causing laughter to break out once more. Beth's side hurt from laughing so much. Hanging onto Miguel's back, she realised she couldn't think of another time in her life when she'd been so contented – a thought that both saddened her and lifted her heart at the same time.

***

Although perhaps it hadn't turned out the way Lucas had intended, the dare night had gone a long way to improve relations between them all, and Beth had found herself far more welcome to join them off-duty.

But, her personal battle was still ongoing, and with the research project still gathering momentum, she found herself struggling to maintain composure under the claustrophobic conditions in the lab.

At least now she had two releases to turn to – Miguel, who was earning an ever growing place in her heart, and the boxing sessions with Katie, which went a long way to easing her anger and frustrations.

After the dare night, Katie had noticed a lot of meetings between Miguel and Beth, and struggled with whether or not to mention something about it.

"I saw Miguel leaving the moon pool late the other night," she said, suddenly as she held the bag for Beth. The other woman stopped punching for a moment, startled by the statement, before resuming her sequence of jabs.

"He's been helping me out with a few things…for the project."

"It's ok, you don't have to explain. We were like that too." Katie hoped that she didn't have to spell it out too much. Hopefully the subtleties of what they were both thinking were obvious enough.

"I wasn't trying to explain. That's the way things are," Beth replied, tartly.

Katie raised her eyebrows, realising this was going to be a more precarious topic than she had first thought.

"I assume you were talking about Ben?" Beth spoke.

It was Katie's turn to blush, realising she'd slipped up. "Uh, yeah, but I think I've said too much already. I mean, if you're not in a relationship and you're not thinking about a relationship, there's no point in talking to you about relationships."

"That would be right," Beth said, slightly disappointed. Truthfully, she _was_ thinking about a relationship. Recently her thoughts about Miguel had been nothing short of confusing, and she wanted to talk them out with someone. But with his commanding officer? She knew she'd kick herself if she let the opportunity pass her by. "What if I was thinking about it?"

"You mean hypothetically?"

"Of course," she groaned, giving the bag a final kick, glad that Katie had cottoned on, and swapping places with her.

"Well," Katie said, taking her stance and beginning a series of punch and kick combos. "You wanna tell me about him?" Beth remained silent for a while. "Oh, come on; don't be shy. Forget he's one of my men and pretend we're somewhere else, anywhere but here. I promise it will be confidential."

A smile spread across Beth's face at the mere thought of him, and she laughed at her own girlish stupidity. "He takes an interest in what I'm doing. He's always got time for me, and he looks out for me." This was something that meant a lot more to her than Katie would realise. She shook her head, realising she probably sounded like a love-struck schoolgirl. "Like I told you guys the other night, I haven't so much as kissed a guy in six years. It's probably just being on this sub."

Katie laughed. "You hit the nail on the head there girl," she said, stopping and leaning on the bag to look at her. "I gotta explain something to you. The military doesn't like to talk about relationships on the front line. Don't ask, don't tell, and all that kind of thing. But I want you to understand; living in this environment is intense, you're in danger a lot of the time. It's claustrophobic, so people form bonds really easily. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that living on a sub there are different rules to the rest of the universe, and you may find that they don't apply when you're up top. Just don't get your hopes up. Don't get hurt."

"So, how do you know what's real and what's not?"

"I'm the wrong person to ask. Just look at the state of my life – divorced by 24. How many women can say that?"

Beth's heart sank as reality hit home, but the spark of hope within her refused to flicker out. "I understand what you're saying. But I can't help thinking that if we hadn't been on the seaQuest, I wouldn't have got to spend so much time with him, and I kinda like what I see."

"I know. But don't you see that something built on spending a lot of time together might not stand up to the pressure of being apart?"

"Guess I'm a hopeless romantic."

"Tell you a secret?" she looked at Beth with such sincerity. It wasn't often that she bonded with another woman, and even if they weren't going to keep in touch after the tour was over, it was still nice to talk to someone about this kind of thing.

"Sure," Beth replied, taking a sip from her water bottle.

"Well, I know what everyone things of me. It's my own fault. What people see on the surface isn't who I really am. They don't realise that I actually want to settle down one day and be married and have kids. So I guess I'm a hopeless romantic too. It just doesn't go with the persona I created in order to survive."

"I don't get it. I thought you _were_ married. Wrong guy?"

"It's not that simple. It's not about finding the right person. It's about being the right person."

"We can't be loved unless we love ourselves right?"

Katie took a deep breath and carefully considered whether it was worth re-visiting the chapter in her life she'd thought was dead and buried. At least it _had _been dead and buried until he'd been assigned to her boat, and his constant presence had made her realise how much she'd missed him. They were feelings she'd pushed down for the sake of her work and the crew, and her own sanity, but they were still there – they'd always be there, and she knew that Beth would benefit greatly from her experience, so she launched into the entire story. "Promise me none of this gets repeated."

Beth swallowed, the sound all too loud in the expectant silence around them. When she'd broached this subject, she'd thought it would be her doing the divulging. It was terrifying, yet wonderfully touching to have Katie sharing such personal feelings with her, and also nice to know there were some flaws beneath the cool exterior. "I swear."

"I joined up when I was 17, just a kid really. Looking back, it was nice to have someone older and more experienced take an interest in me. Ben was the first and only guy I ever really loved." She paused for a moment, eyes drifting to the floor. It was hard to admit she actually had feelings beneath her impenetrable image. "But we were both too young and too stupid to read the signs. Six years we were together, and then we got married, and it was the worst thing we could have done."

Shock was an understatement. The extent that Katie cared for Ben was obvious, so to hear her describe their relationship in such a way was a bolt from the blue. "Why? If you were together six years you ought to have known each other inside out. And you said you were in love." Then something occurred to her. "How much of those six years did you actually spend together?"

"That's the whole problem, all of it. We did know each other inside and out. We went through the academy together, then nuke school. We were never apart."

The previous shock turned quickly to confusion, then sadness as Beth realised that these two really were happy together at some point, so much so that they planned to live the rest of their lives together. What could have torn all that to pieces? "Then…what happened?" she asked, a little to eagerly.

"We got deployed to different fleets. Now, don't get me wrong, the navy does it's best to keep its' officers happy and healthy, but sometimes it's impossible to strike a balance life and work, and with us both being so ambitious… It would be different if we were both staff officers, but I can't see myself at a desk somehow. I'm cursed with an appetite for adventure. So something had to give. Like I said, when something is built on spending so much time together."

The message was unmistakeable, and with it brought a clearer understanding of what she'd been trying to say earlier; that spending time apart often meant moving in different directions. Still, it was so moving and honest that she couldn't think of anything to say, except a pitiful, "I'm sorry."

"We were just too young and too naïve to try and work harder at it. And I thought I was over…you know…IT. But now, with Ben around all the time, it's hard."

The underlying reason for their conversation now seemed to pale in comparison to what Katie had been through. With so many feelings packed away deep inside, she could now see how Katie had become the person she was. Losing Ben had cost her a piece of herself too. "How are things between you now? I mean, I hope this isn't too forward, but from what I've seen, you two still care a lot for each other. With a different perspective, wouldn't things work out a little better now?"

"Is it that obvious? I kinda hoped we were being discreet!" Katie scratched her dark head. "Ben's not the man I married, or even the man I knew all those years ago. He's different, he's lost something and I did that to him. But still, he lets me back into his life, just…let's me be his friend, like old times. Maybe it could work, just maybe. What am I saying? It's pointless, especially since…"

"Since what? Why is it pointless?"

"A couple of months ago, he told me…that he never loved me." Katie watched and waited for the words to sink in. Perhaps if Beth knew what she was risking, she wouldn't get hurt like she had.

Instead of feeling sadness, as she expected, Beth was suddenly overwhelmed by a tidal wave of anger – one that she released by blurting out her thoughts. "Why would _anyone_ spend six years of their life with someone, only to turn round later and say it was a lie? I don't believe that."

"I never saw it like that," Katie said, aghast at her own stupidity. Ok, she was smart, she had a Masters in nuclear physics, she was at the top of her game, but when it came to relationships, man, she was dumb. She exhaled, sharply, not quite a laugh, just the shock of realising what the truth might actually be…then louder, a real laugh this time. "Shit." She looked Beth right in the eye. "You think…? You think he lied…?

Overcome by the naked realisation in Katie's eyes, Beth couldn't help but laugh too. "I think he lied." Taking a gamble, she tried to offer her opinion. "Listen, you know I'm not an expert with men. But I have known enough guys at college to know they're flighty. They don't stick around if they don't want to. Don't hit me, but is it possible he was just looking for an excuse, to make things easier?"

Katie rubbed her face in defeat. "It all makes sense now. He thought he was making things easier for _me_."

"I wouldn't hold it against him. They don't understand how we work."

"You can say that again."

"They like to try though. Some are better than others."

"Ok, this conversation started out as, what are you going to do, but now I'm thinking, what the hell am I going to do?" she said, guiding them both to the bench at the side of the room, where they both sat down.

"I'm a firm believer in letting your heart guide your head. That's probably why this conversation got started in the first place. What does yours say?"

"To be honest, I'm out of touch with my heart. Occupational hazard. I'm sorry," she said, shaking her head. "This has gone too far. Can you imagine how hard this is? For me to admit that I still have feelings for my ex?"

"I'm sorry you had to drag all that up. But I'm glad you told me about it."

"I'm glad we had this conversation. I don't know what I'm going to do, but hey, Miguel's a sweet guy. There's no reason why you shouldn't be happy together. Just be careful, ok? It's not easy being with a submariner, and you can trust me on that!"

"I don't think there's much point sweating over it. I mean, I don't really understand what I'm feeling, and I don't even know what he thinks about me."

"Um, I think that's rather obvious."

"Yeah well, give it another couple of months and I'll be off the boat, and we'll both be back to our separate lives, as much as that sucks," she said sadly.

"I didn't mean to crush your enthusiasm with my tales of woe."

"I know, but you're right. I came onboard to complete this project, not to fall for some adorable, handsome sonar operator. Pretend I didn't say that," she blushed.

"We all think it, even if we don't say it," Katie admitted.

"What? You think he's cute too?" Beth laughed, not sure whether she'd understood right.

"Six twenty vision."

"Shame it doesn't see everything though, huh?" she teased, trying to lighten the mood.

"Oh, very funny." She was starting to really like Beth.

Beth chuckled, pleased with the response, and inwardly delighted that they'd made such a connection.

"We never did get around to looking at your whales did we?"

Beth looked up in surprise. "No, I thought you'd forgotten."

"I hadn't forgotten," Katie said lightly. If Beth knew her better she'd know she never forgot anything. She was just making Beth work a little harder for the privilege of her free time.

"Does that mean you're interested?"

"Honey, I only took this job because of the research."

She didn't know which was more surprising, the fact Katie had called her 'honey', something she'd only heard Kristin say to people, or the admission she'd be willing to help out with the project, something she would have never thought possible, considering their relationship a few months previously. "Well, whatever works best for you; I have the more flexible schedule, so I'll work around you."

"You know, this could be fun."

"I hope so."

***

_North Atlantic Ocean,  
__Off the coast of Iceland,  
__14th November 2018_

True to her word, Katie had set up the Hyper Reality Probe the very next day, ready to begin observations.

Both Katie and the Captain had given Beth a long lecture about the need for secrecy surrounding the HR Probe and it's operators. She'd lost count of the number of times she'd sworn not to reveal Katie's identify.

"You'd think you were a super-hero," she joked as she took a seat next to Katie.

"Yeah, well I don't think I'd get such a warm reception from the public, put it that way," Katie explained. She slipped the visor over her head and set her feet in the pedals, allowing her mind to adjust to the transition. "Ok, I'm ready to launch."

Beth looked up at Miguel, who gave her the thumbs up. He'd be watching their progress with one of the WSKRS. "Ready when you are," she told Katie.

"Alright," she said, easing the probe out of its' compartment. "I'm clear of the boat, give me the co-ordinates, Mr Ortiz, and disengage the passive sonar. We don't want to scare them off."

"Passive sonar is offline, Sir," he told her, and directed her towards a female humpback, swimming alone, not far off to port.

"Ok, just circle around her for a while, so we can get an idea of her general health," Beth instructed.

Katie moved the probe round the female, who was keeping a close eye on it. An amused grin spread across her face as she found herself staring at her – eye to eye. Those eyes held such curiosity in their depths that she couldn't help but be drawn into them, much like Ben always found himself drawn into hers. That unexpected thought caught her off guard, and she shook her head in an attempt to remove it from her mind and refocus on the data from the probe. The whale was ahead of her however, and she only just had enough time to duck out of the way of a playful swipe from a flipper. "She's faster than she looks," she said, suppressed a chuckle as the whale proceeded to roll over in a balletic dance, with flippers waving gracefully. "What's she doing?" she asked.

"Playing probably," Beth replied.

"She's a beauty."

"Sure is, and looking good too. No major scars or injuries. Probably seven years old. Could have mothered a calf by now."

The sounds of the males calling continued to fill Katie's ears. She remembered overhearing Doctor Briers say that the calls were a sign of fitness, and helped the females decide a mate. "She's a lot like us. Floating around in the ocean, trying to find a good companion."

"I hate to burst your bubble, Commander, but humpbacks don't mate for life. They live for the moment, if you know what I mean."

"Ain't that the story of every woman's life?" Katie joked, mirroring their conversation from the night before.

"Surely not," Beth insisted.

"You're young, Beth, you'll learn."

"I hope not!"

Katie couldn't help but smirk. There was a lot of infectious naivety surrounding the young woman, and it had certainly rubbed off on her last night. She was relieved to see that it hadn't been completely quashed by her tales of heartache.

"What do you think we should call her?" Beth asked, looking at Katie expectantly.

"What? You want me to choose?"

Beth nodded.

Silently pleased, Katie thought carefully, while still manoeuvring the probe round the whale. The answer came to her naturally. "Daisy," she said. "You see, she has a mark under her chin shaped like a daisy."

"Daisy," Beth tried. "Yeah, I like that."

Katie smiled with satisfaction, enjoying the experience far more than she had anticipated. "Oh, she's on the move," she commented. "Looks like she's heading for that group over there."

True enough, Daisy headed towards a gathering of four whales that were grouped together. The high-pitched squealing became more intense, as they all dived under the surface and began circling in the water.

"Katie, you have to get this!" Beth exclaimed.

"Why?"

"They're bubble netting."

"What's bubble netting?" Katie asked.

"Watch and you'll find out. But don't get too close, make sure you stay outside the group," Beth warned her.

Katie positioned the probe outside the circle of whales and watched as they began to blow concentrated circles of air from their blowholes, completely cutting off a panicked shoal of fish. The whales swam round them, making the circles ever tighter, until suddenly the leader emitted a sound, signalling all the others to begin the ascent to the surface, causing them to swim up beneath the fish, huge mouths gaping open, and swallow hundreds of fish each.

In a mirrored expression, Katie sat agape, watching the display. "That's incredible," she sighed, the sound of her pounding heartbeat pressing hard on her consciousness. When Jonathan had come back from his first surface observation with such enthusiasm, she'd instantly dismissed it and rolled her eyes at him. But having witnessed first hand the grace and beauty of these creatures, she now understood.

Daisy continued to feed with the other whales, so they decided to leave her to it.

When Katie slid off her visor, she immediately looked up at Beth. "Thank you," she said, warmly, feeling an air of mutual understanding pass between them, which would stay with her for a long time.


	10. Chapter 10

_North Pacific Ocean,  
__28th November 2018_

If Beth and Bill had thought the diversion to Okmok had been inconvenient, they were about to get an even bigger shock.

After tagging a number of whales in the North Atlantic population, including Daisy, they had made their way back across the Arctic Ocean and down through the Bering Sea to the North Pacific to start tracking that populations' migration southwards towards their winter breeding grounds.

Without much warning, the Captain had been summoned to the Pentagon amid much secrecy, which was always the way in the military.

Beth hadn't been aware of his return, but had been awoken sometime in the night by a banging door not far along from hers. She'd been surprised at realising she'd actually fallen into a dreamless sleep, but now having been woken and, as usual, having too many thoughts flying around her mind she knew she was never going to get back to sleep, so decided to go and investigate. As she padded along the deck, she noticed Lucas' door slightly ajar, so she peeked in and saw the young boy sitting on his bed, dressed in his colourful striped dressing gown, head hanging low. Tentatively, she knocked on the door.

Lucas' head slowly rose, and she noticed the glistening in his eyes. "Hey," she said, quietly, closing the door behind her with a hiss.

"Hey," he croaked.

"What's going on?"

For a moment he hesitated, but he'd spent a lot of time around Beth during the last couple of months, especially after the _Delilah_, and didn't mind sharing this with her. "I, uh, I've just seen the Captain."

"So, he's back?"

"Yeah, but not for long."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean he's leaving."

Beth struggled to comprehend the statement. "Leaving? Where to? How long?"

"To home, for good. He's handing in his resignation. He's leaving the seaQuest."

The news completely stunned her, forcing her to take a seat next to him to recover for a few minutes while her blood stopped rushing.

"And you know what's even better?" Lucas asked, with a sad smile. "He's ordered me off the boat."

Beth's mind struggled to force out the words. "Why? What happened?"

"The UEO are ordering him to do something he doesn't agree with. I can't tell you what, he trusted me."

Beth sighed, not entirely sure what to say. "It's not going to be the same without you here," she said.

"I know," he replied, lightening the mood with his usual cockiness, something she would genuinely miss.

***

The atmosphere in the mess at breakfast was subdued. Clearly the news had spread.

"Beth," Katie ushered her over to the table she was sharing with Ben. "Have you heard?" she asked as she took a seat.

"Yeah, Lucas is really upset," Beth answered. "Do you guys ever forget he's just a kid?"

"Used to, but not anymore. You learn to recognise his limit," Ben mused, "I have to take him ashore later."

"The Captain can't leave," Beth blurted.

"Why? Because it'll muck up the project?" Katie quipped without thinking, stabbing her breakfast with her spoon.

Ben simply shook his head. He knew what she was like.

"No," Beth glared at her. "Because this is his ship, and he's a bloody good Captain!"

Katie's anger subsided and she flicked her gaze away, feeling foolish. "I'm sorry," she offered, realising she'd been a little more affected by the news than she thought.

"Me too," Beth agreed.

***

The crew on the bridge were also feeling the strain of Captain Bridger's departure, especially when they discovered what it was in relation to.

Miguel's thoughts instantly turned to Beth, and the whales they'd been tracking. Because they were now following the southward progress of the North Pacific population, he hadn't checked the movements of the Atlantic whales for a good few days. Once the map was loaded, he quickly counted the tracking signals to account for them all, but his breath caught in his throat. NA-H 23 was missing.

"Commander," he called, summoning Hitchcock to confirm his suspicions.

"What is it, Mr Ortiz?"

"Sir, I think we've lost a whale," he told her.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. I've counted three times, and rebooted the system. There should be 25 signals, and there are only 24."

Katie took time to survey the board, and came to the same conclusion.

"It's in the same region that those whalers were reported to be active," Miguel added, voicing her concerns.

"Let's not jump to conclusions. Couldn't the tag have fallen off?"

Miguel shook his head. "No, Miss Allen said the tags were designed to remain attached for two years. They've never lost one this early. Besides, even if it did fall off, it would still be transmitting."

"Malfunction?"

Again, Miguel disagreed. "I've seen these tags, Commander. They're top-spec. There's no way it would malfunction within the first six months of activation, let alone three weeks."

"Can you tell which one is missing?"

He swallowed. "It's Daisy, Sir."

Katie exhaled deeply. This made the situation very complicated indeed. As part of the crew, she was meant to remain neutral, unbiased. But these sons of bitches had gone and killed a whale she had named and had personal contact with. That was hard to remain disconnected from. "I'd rather Beth heard this from you," she told him. "Just don't take too long. And be careful, she's already upset about the Captain."

"Yes, Sir," he nodded, removing his headset and making his way from the bridge, quietly relieved that he wasn't the only one who seemed to be showing concern for her anymore.

Confusion loomed over Katie's mind. She now understood completely why the Captain had chosen that course of action. If she was this frustrated over it, she hated to think how Beth would react.

***

In the science lab on B-Deck, Beth was standing behind a computer console.

Miguel took a few steps into the lab and cleared his throat. "Miss Allen?"

"Mr Ortiz," she said, surprised, reciprocating the formal greeting. "I meant to come past the bridge this morning but I got held up here. We're having a problem with the analyses, and without Lucas, it's taking a while to sort out. Is everything alright?" she asked, seeing the look on his face.

"Could I have a word?" he asked, avoiding her question and indicating she should step outside the door.

She nodded, and followed him out into the hall, closing the door behind her.

"What is it?" she asked, concerned.

He didn't see any point in avoiding it further. "The Commander and I were reviewing the tracking signals from the North Atlantic, and we've lost a whale."

She was silent, contemplating the news. "What do you mean we've lost one? Is the tag still active?"

He shook his head. "It's not transmitting."

"That doesn't make any sense," she said, screwing up her face. "The designers assured us we wouldn't have any signal cut-out before six months post-attachment."

"I know."

His expression was guarded. "There's something you're not telling me," she said matter-of-factly.

He sighed, heavily, and drew her closer. "I'm telling you this on a need to know basis. You keep it to yourself, understood?"

She nodded.

"There are whalers active in the North Sea," he revealed.

"What?" she asked, aghast, eyes wide in alarm.

"A rogue submarine has been targeting them. Three whaling ships have been sunk, and the UEO ordered the Captain to take care of it, that's why he resigned."

Understanding clicked into place, followed immediately after by confusion. "Why sink the sub? It's doing the UEO a favour."

"Because those whaling ships belong to UEO aligned nations. And we've just heard that sub sunk a passenger carrying vessel – a cruise ship."

"Oh my God," she uttered under her breath. It didn't take long before the second realisation took hold. "Oh my God, those assholes. They got the whale didn't they?"

Miguel nodded, sadly.

"Which one?"

"Daisy," he told her, and watched as she took everything in, breathing deeply to control the mix of anger and sadness. He knew how much she'd put into the project. Each one of those whales meant something to her; so losing any one of them was a blow. "Come here," he said, softly, and took her into a gentle embrace, which was gratefully received. He sighed, as grateful for the support as she was.

She held on tight, taking comfort in his warmth, but being careful not to let it last too long, for fear of things becoming awkward. She pulled back and looked at him with thanks. "Between the Captain and Lucas leaving, and now this…it's a lot to take in," she admitted.

"I know," he reassured. He and the crew were having just as hard a time coming to terms with the loss of their leader.

***

It wasn't long after the rogue submarine had sunk the cruise ship that Captain Bridger had returned to the seaQuest and assumed command, much to the relief of everyone. He'd quickly turned the boat around and they'd headed at full speed towards the Irish Ocean to hunt down the submarine, again halting the research.

On hearing word of the Captains' return, Beth had made her way to the moon pool at the nearest opportunity, hoping that perhaps Darwin had made his way back too. As she walked into the room and towards the pool, concentrating on finding Darwin, she was startled by movement.

"Ah!" she exclaimed. "What the hell are you doing here? I thought you'd gone!" she said, taking Lucas into a friendly embrace.

"I've kinda been hiding out with Krieg," he admitted.

She gave him a knowing nod. "I knew he was up to something."

Lucas smirked, knowing that, like the others, she had no idea what he was cooking up, _literally_.

They both jumped as the alert sirens wailed throughout the ship.

"What is that?" Beth asked.

"It's the Captain, he's going after the sub." He looked at her, indecision plaguing his mind. "I'm going to the bridge," he decided.

"I'm coming with you," she decided impulsively, and hotfooted it after him.

***

Katie was startled, but not entirely surprised to see Beth come round the corner and join them on the bridge. After all, they _were _using one of her pods as bate, a fact that made them all nervous. She reached out as Beth walked past, and caught her arm. "Let him do his job," she said, quietly, referring to Miguel.

Beth nodded, and took the seat next to him, observing quietly, careful not to disturb.

Bridger sent Lucas up to join them, feeling that having something to do might distract the boy, and sounded the alert once more.

They were tracking a pod of humpbacks, as was a whaling ship, with the rogue submarine close behind. As the submarine fired on the ship, Bridger gave the order for seaQuest to move into position and intercept the torpedo.

Beth looked up at Lucas, alarmed. '_We're going to get hit?_' she thought, panicked.

"Brace yourself," Miguel told her, quickly.

She held onto the seat and waited for the impact, which surprised her with its' ferocity, jarring all the bones in her body.

Miguel looked over at her briefly to make sure she was alright, before tracking the submarines' retreat with the WSKRS. Bridger swiftly took action, firing a torpedo to disable the subs' prop, leaving it dead in the water.

Tim tried to contact it, but after receiving no answer, Bridger decided to go over there himself and talk things out with Max Scully.

There was stony silence on the bridge after he'd gone. This particular encounter had them all feeling mixed emotions. They hadn't invested hundred of hours work to simply see these whales fall victim to illegal whalers. Deep down they all agreed with Max, just not with his methods, which made their job all the harder.

"You two alright?" Miguel asked Beth and Lucas.

"Yeah," they both nodded.

"Take Junior and keep tabs on Crocker in the launch," Miguel instructed her. "I need to watch the Captain."

It had been a long wait before he came back and they had watched solemnly as he sunk the sub.

Lucas, seeking reassurance, went down to him and they both left the bridge together.

"It's all so complicated," Beth sighed, after they'd gone.

"Yeah," Miguel agreed, placing his hand over hers and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

***

_North Pacific Ocean,  
__5th December 2018_

A week later, they were back in the North Pacific, having caught up with the migrating whales, and were following their journey southwards.

They'd been at sea for a while, and everyone was aware what time of year it was, and that they were bound to be due some shore leave. So, when the news came through that they were to dock in San Francisco on the 10th, the crew came alive with excitement.

The incident with the whalers had stirred up Beth's passions about the project, and filled her with such determination that Miguel was astonished by the transformation. The more time they spent together, the more he was amazed at how much progress she'd made. She was by no means over the hill, but she was getting there, more and more everyday. In fact, the more time they spent together, both on the bridge operating the WSKRS and in the evenings; the conversations between them grew dangerously personal. One evening in particular, they were sat in his room, chatting away, when he suddenly asked, boldly -

"So if you had a choice, which one of us would you go on a date with?"

"Excuse me?" Beth's mouth dropped open.

"Ben and I have a bet – he thinks me, I think him."

"You're assuming I'm single," she retorted. "What makes you think there's not a handsome scientist waiting for me back home?"

"Because if there was, he wouldn't have been stupid enough to let you loose on a submarine full of sailors by yourself. Or stupid enough to let you go full stop – anyone who would clearly doesn't care enough."

"Maybe he just respects my freedom," Beth suggested, making Miguel fall silent.

She noticed his unease and cleared her throat. "_Ben _would be right," she smirked, "and there's no-one waiting for me at home."

Miguel had looked at her shyly then, slightly pleased, slightly embarrassed. "So why, if you would go on a date with me, did you not want me to kiss you at the dare night?" he asked.

Beth sighed, "Because it's intimate. And if two people have feelings for each other, those feelings shouldn't be belittled or mocked by parading them in front of people on a dare. I don't think that's how kisses should be," she said honestly.

Miguel sat upright. "Is that what you're saying? That you have feelings for me?"

"I don't know what I'm saying," she laughed. After a while she spoke. "So would _you_ go on a date with me?" she asked innocently. "Hypothetically speaking of course," she added. That seemed to be all she did these days – speak in hypotheticals.

Miguel smiled and leaned back in his chair. "I don't know, I'm still debating on that one," he laughed.

She picked up his pillow and threw it at him.

He smiled, enjoying the banter between them. As they grew more attached to each other, he was highly aware of the fact they were nearing the end of the project, and he found himself pained at the thought of her leaving.

The research had gone better than anyone could have anticipated, and had given as much, if not more, back to the crew as it had to the future of the whales. Each one of them had been changed by the experience.

They'd almost tracked the complete migration routes of the North Pacific population, and by the time they were finished in Hawaii, would have mapped the most crucial areas for socialising, feeding and mating.

Beth was clearly overjoyed at the results. But despite also being happy that the project had been such a success, Miguel couldn't stop asking himself what the chances were that he'd ever see her again. It was this realisation that had made him bold enough to ask the question in the first place. With the day of shore leave coming up, he hoped to spend at least part of it with her.

"You know, we're docking in San Fran in a few days," he hinted.

"Are you asking me out on a date, Mr Ortiz?" she teased.

"No," he insisted. "I just thought, that considering how near it is to Christmas, you might have some shopping to do, say for a certain sensor chief who's helped you out loads, and you might like some company."

"You might want to check your logic," she smirked. "How am I meant to buy you a present while you're there?"

"I'll wait outside," he joked. "So what do you think?"

"I think a day in San Francisco with good company would be a great idea."

"Then it's a date," he smiled. "But not a date."

"Not a date," Beth agreed, though partly wishing it were.


	11. Chapter 11

_San Francisco,  
__Western Seaboard of the United States,  
__10th December 2018_

Christmas was always a difficult time of year – when thoughts turned to home, and the distance from loved ones never seemed greater.

For those with children and extended families, the sentimentality of the season always brought back cherished memories, as it did for Kristin. Seated in the launch on the way up to the surface, she had to suppress a sigh as she wondered what her children were doing and what they might be doing if they were all together.

When she'd taken the job on the seaQuest, she'd always known it was going to be tough around this time, since it was the one time of year when they all usually came together as a family. But, after the months onboard, she'd found her own family here too and so she just tried to concentrate on enjoying their company. Besides, she'd heard the city was beautifully decorated, with an enormous tree and skating rink in the central square. They all planned to make the most of it while they had the chance.

She, Nathan and Manilow had arranged to take Bill around with them for the day, leaving Beth free to enjoy herself. She had fussed that she should be taking care of him, but Kristin felt she needed the time off. And she enjoyed Bill's company. When he was coherent, Bill, she and Nathan had a real laugh together.

As they wandered onto the dock, they all split off into their separate groups. Having arranged to meet them later, the youngsters all disappeared into a few taxis.

"Where are we off to first, then?" Kristin asked the men.

"Somewhere with some good food. My taste buds are screaming for some flavour," Bill moaned.

"Amen to that," Manilow agreed.

"They do the best they can," Nathan defended.

Kristin chuckled. "I have to admit I could do with a good glass of wine."

"Let's see some sights first," Nathan suggested, as he helped Kristin push Bill along the sidewalk, still not sure of where they were headed, but not entirely bothered either.

***

"Hey!" Ben shouted, as he noticed Miguel discreetly trying to disappear with Beth. "Where are you two off to?"

"The market," Miguel shouted back. "We'll meet up with you later," he told them, before looking down at Beth and grinning.

The others simply shook their heads and watched as they walked away together.

"First date, huh?" Ben mused.

"It's not a date," Katie defended, having already been through this with Beth earlier.

"Sure," Tim commented.

"I know attraction when I see it," Ben insisted.

Katie snapped her head up and glowered at him in disbelief. Clearly he had no idea how blind he was. "It's _not_ a date," she repeated, more sternly this time.

"Alright," Ben said, holding his hands up in defence, and herded them all away in the opposite direction.

***

The Christmas market was something Miguel had heard about from other crewmembers and had decided would be the perfect thing for he and Beth to go and see. It was an assortment of every type of bric-a-brac under the sun. From old 20th Century movies, music and video games, to food and drink vendors, furniture and artists, there was something to amuse everyone.

Although everyone around them was infused with the joy of the season, she didn't seem to be so enthusiastic.

"How did you sleep last night?" he asked, as they wandered between the stalls.

"Um, not so great," she admitted. "It comes and goes. Some nights I'll drop off without even realising it, and then I'll wake-up and be too scared to go back to sleep. Other nights I'll sleep the whole way through, and then there's still nights I'll hardly sleep a wink, so it's hit or miss, really."

As they walked on, he looked down at her, thoughtfully. "I've never asked about this, because I know it's personal, but, why don't you speak about your nightmares?"

If it had been anyone else, she'd have been angry at the intrusion into her personal space, but with Miguel, she didn't mind. That didn't mean she was going to speak to him about it either, though. "It's a part of my life that I don't want to dredge up. I just want to forget about it."

"We all have skeletons in our closet, Beth, but most of us have dealt with them before sealing them away. The fact that these…events, whatever they may be, keep coming back to haunt you means you obviously haven't dealt with them."

"I know. But, I'll deal with them in my own way, in my own time," she said, defiantly, effectively closing the door on that line of conversation. She hated to shut him out after he'd done so much for her, but some battles were just too personal to share.

"I wonder how Bill's doing," she asked, suddenly.

"You've been thinking about him all morning, haven't you?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Only because I know about his condition, and I know you worry."

Beth looked at him thankfully. "I'm grateful for that. It's been really nice to have you to talk to over the last few months, and not just about Bill, but everything else too."

"Like I said, I really don't mind. But you're welcome," he smiled.

They walked on further, through a moment of uncertainty and discomfort.

"You know," she mused, "I didn't get a chance to tell you what I like and dislike about you," she grinned up at him, cheekily.

"Oi," he sighed, preparing himself.

"I know you said I expect a lot from people, and I agree with you, but you expect a lot from me too. You seem to have set these high standards for me and I find that hard, because I don't want to let you down…again," she admitted.

Miguel sighed, "I'm sorry you took it that way. I'm just trying to push you, because I know you're capable of being more."

"See that's the thing – how do you know that?" she said, slightly exasperated. "I don't even know that. Some things I need to find out for myself, ok?"

"Ok. And just for the record? You're not letting me down," he smiled, and gave her a playful nudge. "So, what about the good stuff?"

"Who said I was finished with the bad stuff?"

"Only _one_ thing, remember?"

"Oh yeah, damn!" she teased.

He chuckled, "Ok, so I know I'm not perfect, but there must be some good points."

"You are patient and kind and understanding beyond belief, and I've really appreciated that," she said, honestly.

He nodded, bashfully. "Thanks. Hey, about all that 'Casanova' stuff on dare night…" he began, but she stopped him, holding up her hand.

"I _really_ don't want to know," she laughed. "It's none of my business, and besides, it's in the past."

"You've got a thing about leaving things in the past, huh?" he teased.

"Ha ha," she mocked, and they moved apart to let a rather jolly looking Santa step between them. "You must miss your family around this time."

"Well yeah, of course I do. I miss them all the time."

"Did you have any Christmas traditions as a kid?" she asked.

"Not really," he shrugged. "Well, actually, you know that poem, '_The Night Before Christmas_'?" Beth nodded. "My Abuela used to gather me and my little sister on her knee and read it to us while my folks were getting things ready."

"Nice distraction. Is she much younger than you?"

"She's about your age, actually."

"Do you just have a sister?"

"No, an older brother too," he said, falling quiet, obviously not wanting to get onto that topic.

"Sounds like you have a really nice family."

"I do. And it's getting bigger. My sister is due to give birth in the next month. Rumour has it, its twins," he cringed.

"Your _little_ sister?" Beth said, surprised. "Doesn't that make you feel old?"

"I'm 25! I've got plenty time to feel old."

"Doesn't it scare you though, that your younger sister is having kids already?"

"Why; because I don't have anything? It's not that easy in the navy."

"I know," she said, apologetically. "If I'm honest, it intimidates me a bit, seeing all these women around me settling down and having families. If I had a mother she'd probably be telling me to watch the clock."

Miguel chuckled. "My Mama mentions the same thing every time I'm home. But I don't think you've got anything to worry about. . Everyone's time will come," he said, giving her another nudge, this time more affectionately.

As they continued walking among the stalls, Miguel was especially pleased to find a bookstall and began to browse happily among the old editions.

Beth also browsed among them, burrowing through a large pile in the non-fiction section. She turned one over and inhaled as she saw what she'd uncovered. The dusty, hard-backed book, entitled '_Myths and Legends, Volume III – The Lost Kingdom of Atlantis_' sat staring up at her invitingly.

After checking over her shoulder to make sure he wasn't around, she flicked through the pages, finding a lavishly descriptive interior. She quickly slapped the book shut and buried it again, as she heard Miguel's footsteps approach.

"Go and wait over there," she told him.

"Why?"

"Miguel, don't ask why, just do it," she laughed, giving him a gentle shove.

He gave her a mock salute and disappeared out of sight, allowing her to pay for the book and bury it at the bottom of her bag. By the time she had it hidden, he'd disappeared out of sight. She weaved in and out of the stalls, following the direction he'd gone in. The market spread out over a large area surrounding the square, with several streets having been closed off to accommodate all the traders for the Christmas period. She eventually found him a few rows away where, Ben, Tim and Lucas had joined him.

"Hey," she smiled, "where're the Commanders?"

"Around here somewhere," Lucas mused.

"So, Miguel; how's your balance?" Tim asked, with a grin.

***

It was early evening before Kristin and the three men made their way to Justin Herman Plaza, and met up with the rest of the crew.

They had enjoyed a leisurely day of shopping and sightseeing, taking their time to explore and take in the city in all its' seasonal glory.

"Do you see them anywhere?" Nathan asked.

Kristin and Manilow scanned the throng of people, crowded around the tree and stalls. It was a frantic waving from the ice rink that eventually caught their eye.

"Yes, there they are, on the ice," Kristin said, pointing.

Nathan looked over to see all seven of them sliding around the rink, with some staying upright better than others. "Lucas," he waved, and pulled out his camera to get a picture.

Lucas looked around, confused, before finding them in the crowd and returning Nathan's wave a little too enthusiastically, sending him off balance and onto his back. Skating behind him, Ben attempted to dodge the sudden obstacle, but failed miserably, tripping over Lucas' foot and landing on his belly.

Seeing the pile-up, Miguel exploded into hysterics, causing him to over-balance too, and fall at Beth's feet, still laughing, both at himself and the other two.

Beth came to a stop above him and held out her hand to help him up, but ended up falling down beside him, and lay flat on the ice, hand clutching her belly, laughing.

The remaining vertical skaters and the spectators at the side had a good chuckle at their antics. Bill waved happily as Beth and Miguel stood up again and continued skating round. It took both Tim and Jonathan grasping Ben's hands to haul him back onto his feet.

"You really do have a wonderful crew," he told Nathan.

"You certainly do, Cap," Manilow added.

"Yes, I know," he agreed.

"When are we going for dinner?" Bill asked. "The kids will be starving by now."

Kristin and Nathan exchanged a glance. "We've already had dinner, Bill, remember?"

Bill looked puzzled for a moment, before shaking his head and muttering under his breath. "Of course, of course, you silly old fool."

"It's alright, Bill," Kristin said, clutching his shoulder. She raised her head as Beth skated over to the side of the rink with Miguel.

"Captain," he greeted.

"Mr Ortiz. Having fun?"

"Yes, Sir," he smiled sheepishly. "Are you coming to join us?"

Nathan shook his head, laughing. "I don't think these old bones would take that kind of treatment."

"Come on the ice," Beth told Bill. "I've asked the attendant. It's alright."

Bill began to wave his hand in protest, not wanting to be made a fuss of, but Miguel was already stepping through the gate to take the wheelchair from Manilow.

"Got it?" Manilow asked, as they manoeuvred the chair through the gate and onto the ice. He then stepped back to watch as Beth skated alongside her mentor, while Miguel pushed him round.

"They're quite a pair aren't they?" Nathan asked.

"Yes, Sir. We always thought they looked quite cosy," Manilow chuckled.

Nathan glanced at him, amused. "I meant Bill and Miss Allen."

"Oh, beg pardon, Sir," Manilow mumbled, realising he might have dropped Miguel in it. "I'm sure it's just harmless fun."

Kristin giggled to herself, quite moved by the camaraderie between them all. She was also touched by the pure joy on Bill's face as he was spun round among the crowd. Beth, too, was overjoyed to see him so relaxed.

Ben skated up to them to say hello, but couldn't quite get stopped in time, instead going flying by them in the opposite direction, leaving them laughing in his wake. After a second pass, he managed to slow down enough to skate alongside them and start chatting to Bill.

"I expect your backside is going to be all kinds of different colours after this," Bill joked.

"Oh, it'll survive. I seem to remember it getting worse treatment from my mother when I was little."

"Oh, I see. A trouble-maker were you?"

"Of the highest order, yes," he grinned.

It was a long time since she'd seen Bill so calm and subdued, so Beth made sure to take in every wonderful minute of it, as she and Miguel skated side by side behind the wheelchair.

"Coming through!" they heard Katie yell, as she and Jonathan raced up behind them.

"Watch out," Miguel warned, lifting one of his arms up, allowing Beth to stand protected between them and the wheelchair.

"Speed freaks," Ben commented, and resumed chatting to Bill.

Beth ducked back under Miguel's arm to skate beside him again, feeling incredibly lucky to have someone so considerate looking out for her. "Thank you," she told him. "I mean really."

Miguel smiled warmly and put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer and planting a kiss softly on the side of her head. "For the hundredth time, you're welcome."

***

Complaining of cold feet and hands, and bruised backsides, they all eventually managed to make their way down to the Civic Centre Plaza, where Nathan gathered his crew in front of the Christmas tree for a photo.

"Here, let me take one," Beth offered, as she stood beside him with Bill. The others were busy lining themselves up.

"No, I don't want one with me in it," he insisted.

"Go," she said, frowning and prized the camera out of his hands.

Reluctantly, he trudged over and posed with a big grin beside his crew. Once she'd taken it, he walked back towards her, holding out his hand to take the camera.

"Now you go," he told her, gesturing towards the group.

"I'm not part of the crew," she said, shaking her hands.

"Don't be ridiculous, come on!" Jonathan yelled at her.

"Come on, Beth!" Miguel shouted, making space for her.

Half embarrassed, half delighted, she made her way over to stand beside him.

"Perfect," Nathan smiled as he clicked the camera, wanting to cement this image in his mind to treasure for the future.

***

_North Pacific Ocean,  
__25th December 2018_

All over the ship the crew were waking up to greet each other and give their best wishes. For most of them, the day carried on as normal, but with just a bit more sentimentality than usual, which brought tinges of both happiness and sadness to the atmosphere onboard.

Wanting to make a day of it, Beth had got up early and collected breakfast from the mess to take to Bill's room. While there, she noticed Joshua and Tanya sitting with some of the other scientists. She hadn't spoken to either of them in a while, and although the tension between her and Joshua had subsided somewhat, she and Tanya had never really picked things up again.

Nevertheless, she walked over to their table and hovered beside them until she got their attention.

"Hi," she smiled, nervously. "I just wanted to say Merry Christmas, and have a good day."

"Merry Christmas," Joshua smiled back, and raised his cup.

"Yeah, Merry Christmas," Tanya agreed, managing a tentative smile.

Her efforts not having gone to waste, she headed over to Bill's room with a lighter heart. He'd been sitting up in bed, expectantly, waiting to start the day with her. First thing in the morning was always a good time for him, relaxed after a nights rest, with no cloud covering his mind.

"Merry Christmas," he said, as they clunked their cups of coffee, and ate their meal together. "You're not working today are you?"

"No, I most certainly am not," she grinned.

"Going to spend some time with Mr Ortiz?" he asked, cheekily.

"Bill, I've barely known the man four months."

"He makes you smile though, and he supports you, I can see that."

She shrugged, not wanting to make a big deal of it. "He was on watch until 0400 anyway, so he'll be in bed or back on watch for most of the day."

"You look disappointed," he teased, trying to get her to open up more.

"Bill!" she laughed, screwing up her nose at him.

He chuckled at her obvious discomfort. "I'm glad we came here. You've spent more time among company on this boat than you have the entire time I've known you. It's doing you the world of good."

"Maybe you're right," she agreed, reluctantly.

"I know I'm right," he insisted.

***

'_You've been here before – stop being so ridiculous!_' she chided herself, as she walked along the deck containing the enlisted crews' quarters. It didn't take her long to find the door she was looking for, but took her longer to actually knock on it, as she stood and hesitated for some time.

'_Get on with it!_' she told herself, annoyed, and curled her hand into a fist to knock firmly.

She took a few steps back, hearing movement inside. The door handle spun and the seal hissed as it was pulled open, revealing Miguel dressed in his civvies, still looking rather tired.

"Merry Christmas," she smiled.

"Hey, Merry Christmas," he said through a yawn. "Come on in." He motioned her forward and shut the door behind them.

"Don't tell me I woke you up," she cringed, noticing the unmade bed.

"No, no," he insisted. "I'm just being lazy. You had a good morning?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Bill and I had breakfast together. It was nice."

"I haven't even seen anybody yet. I was about to head over for some lunch."

"Well, before you do," she said, pulling the rather obvious package from behind her back. "You can open this."

"Oh," he groaned, slightly embarrassed at the attention, and the fact he hadn't got her anything. "Thank you," he said, as she handed it over.

It was with trepidation that she watched him peel back the layers of paper.

"Wow," he said, running his hands over the cover of the book. He opened it to find a hand-written message on the title page –

'_To Miguel, for all the help and support you have given me, and the project, over the last few months. I hope our paths will cross again someday. With many thanks and best wishes for the future, from Beth Allen x x_'

He carefully closed the book and immediately walked over to hug her, pulling her snugly into his arms. "Me too," he mumbled into her shoulder, and gave her a tender kiss on the forehead.

As they pulled apart, she breathed a stilted laugh, and smiled awkwardly.

"What you got planned for the rest of the day?" he asked.

"Not a lot," she shrugged. "Just enjoying the time off."

"Thanks for reminding me," he teased.

"Sorry."

"The officers are going to be having dinner together tonight, but we do our own thing in the mess," he said, hesitantly. "You're welcome to join us if you're not doing anything."

It didn't take long for her to answer. Smiling broadly, she nodded. "That would be great," she agreed.

"Great," he said, smiling back. '_A very_ _merry Christmas it is,_' he thought.


	12. Chapter 12

_North Pacific Ocean,  
__Off the Hawaiian Islands,  
__6th January 2019_

"Wait until you see this," Joshua said, hurtling into the lab with a piece of paper in his hands.

Beth looked up from the computer, startled. "What?" she asked, as he thrust the paper towards her. She straightened it out and read the title,

'_Analysing the Chemical Content of Aquatic Plant Species Located Near Outflow Pipes of Hydro-Thermal Power Stations._' _J.R. Levin, K. Westphalen, T. Rothman, E. Allen.'_

Beth's mouth dropped open in shock. "That's us! You got my name on a paper!" she said, leaping up from her seat. "You sly dog!"

"It's been in the works for a while," he admitted.

"Did Kristin know?"

"No," he said, shaking his head. He'd always been good at keeping secrets. "Consider it a thanks for helping us out." He said, hoping she would hear the apology in there somewhere, for ignoring her for so long.

"My pleasure," she beamed. "J.R. Levin? What's your middle name?"

"Robert," he mumbled, sheepishly.

She laughed heartily, more at his embarrassment than the actual name.

"Miss Allen to the bridge, Miss Allen to the bridge," Miguel's voice called over the intercom.

Beth looked puzzled at Joshua, and stood up from her seat to leave the lab. "Can I take this to show them?"

"Sure, but don't take too long," he called. "I might crack open some chips to celebrate."

"I can hardly wait," she laughed, sarcastically, amused at his excitement, and was still smiling when she climbed out of the mag-lev at the bridge. Her smile soon fell when she heard the raised voices coming through the open clam doors.

"I don't want to sit down, I want to see Amanda!" she heard Bill yelling.

"Bill, please," Kristin soothed, trying to calm him down.

"Don't Bill me, I don't even know you woman! It's Doctor William Briers!" he snapped back, waving his cane aggressively.

Beth stood for a few moments, not even noticing the paper flutter from her hands, refusing to accept the horrifying scene in front of her as Bill's world fell from beneath him. He appeared to have lost all comprehension of the world around him, not able to recognise any one of them. The crew all gazed at him as if he were some crazed lunatic, and she balked as she realised there was no hiding the truth from any of them now.

"Beth, thank God," Kristin said as she spotted her, and came over to her side. "He's been like this for ten minutes," she explained.

"Amanda!" Bill called, looking at Beth, distraught.

"I think you should just play along with it," Kristin told her.

Beth shook her head in panic. "I can't do that, no," she croaked, as Kristin gently herded her forward onto the bridge. "I can't do that to him."

"Just until we can get him to med-bay and get him sedated."

"Get him what? No, no, I can't."

"Sweetheart, he's going to hurt himself, and he's disrupting the crew. We have to do something," she looked into Beth's eyes pleadingly.

Miguel watched, heart in his mouth, as Bill stumbled over towards Beth, repeating his daughters name over and over. Beth stared at him with fear in her eyes, sub-consciously backing away from the man she no longer recognised.

"Amanda, where have you been? Come on, we need to get home, it's late already," he said, linking his arm through hers and trying to take her off the bridge.

Beth looked desperately at Kristin, who nodded reassuringly.

"Sorry, yeah, let's go home," Beth said coldly, and walked with him and Kristin towards the mag-lev, and onward to med-bay.

The crew on the bridge all simultaneously let out a relieved sigh as their workplace fell silent once more.

Sadly, Jonathan and Katie stood looking out at the main doors where they had left. They were soon joined by Miguel, who picked up the paper from the doorway and glanced at it. He exhaled deeply with compassion as he realised what it was, and wished he were there for her. He turned to face the confused faces of his crewmates, and revealed the truth to them about Bill's dementia.

They were all genuinely shocked, and unable to respond for a good few minutes while they took in the tragic reality of it all.

"How long have you known about this?" Jonathan asked.

"Since they first came aboard," Miguel admitted. "She didn't want me to say anything," he explained.

"That's unbelievable," Katie sighed, feeling a mix of sadness at the situation and betrayal at this having been kept from them. In fact, when she thought about it, it explained a lot about why she and Miguel had been spending so much time together. Still, it hurt a little that she hadn't felt able to tell her about it, especially since she thought they were a lot closer these days.

"It's getting worse," Miguel told them.

"He really shouldn't be here anymore," Katie said, matter-of-factly. Despite the delicacy of the situation, in his unstable state, Bill could have caused some serious damage to the boat, and jeopardised all their lives.

Beside her, Jonathan nodded. "I know." He licked his lips and turned to face the crew. "Back to work, people."

***

"You're going to have no skin left on your lip if you keep that up," Kristin chided, as she pulled Beth's hand away from her lip.

The two of them stood, side-by-side in med-bay watching over Bill, waiting for him to come round from the anaesthetic.

"What do I tell him?" she asked, her voice flat. "How much of that will he remember?"

"Likely none of it," Kristin sighed. She looked over at the woman standing next to her and pulled her hand back down from her face, this time holding onto it firmly, feeling the tremors that were running through it.

"Will he be, _him_…when he comes round?"

"I don't know. These episodes are so unpredictable."

Beth sighed heavily. Clearly it wasn't the answer she'd wanted to hear. "What do I tell _them_? That's twice I've deceived them," she said, referring to the crew.

"It wasn't only you who lied about this," Kristin reminded her. "Nathan and I will handle it."

"I'm losing him, aren't I?"

The hopelessness with which she said those last words filled Kristin with concern. Even after all these months, Beth had told them very little about what had happened in her childhood to cause her such prolonged anxiety. With Bill being the only person who knew the full story, once his mind had faded, she would be without anyone to understand her.

It was that scenario that Kristin feared would be enough to send her back onto the Temazepam for release from her grief.

"Yes, you're going to lose him," she said, firmly. "But you've both known that for a while now. Beth," she pulled on the hand in hers and turned the woman to face her. "You've got to stay strong. Not just for yourself, but for him too, you hear me?"

Beth looked her in the eyes, and nodded, coolly, revealing nothing but a level headed determination to remain calm.

For Kristin, the look of determination was enough. Perhaps if she could be determined about this, then she could remain determined to keep her life on track too.

***

A few days later the boat had been thrown into more disarray when Lucas had been fired upon while testing the Stinger for the UEO single-seat submersible trials. The craft had disappeared from all the ship's sensors, resulting in a full-on search and rescue mission, which had the crew on the edge of their seats, wondering what had happened to the boy.

Once the initial relief of finding Lucas safe and well had faded, all attention became focused on finding out what had happened to the Stinger.

Miguel was sent out with Ben and Tim in a launch to see what they could find. On his way to the launch bay, he stopped by the lab to keep Beth up to date with the situation.

"We found him, he's alright. Just a scratch," he told her.

"Thank God," she sighed. "The Stinger?" she asked, knowing how frantic Katie would be to know the fate of her project. Having witnessed first hand the amount of time she'd spent on it, she could just picture the tension wound up in her, ready to spring.

"Don't know yet – I'm on my way up to the island to have a look around."

"Be careful," she said, concerned, knowing there was a chance that whoever targeted Lucas could still be out there.

"I will," he nodded, seriously. "Catch you later."

Katie and Lucas were indeed frantic, and even more so when they discovered the sub had been destroyed by their competitors, leaving them 24 hours to come up with something else.

In the end, with the help of the crew, and a hard night's work, they'd managed to construct a second Stinger.

Beth had felt rather impotent that evening, knowing nothing about engineering or electronics, so had done the only thing she knew – handed out drinks.

"How's it coming?" she asked, tentatively, stepping in among the metal sheets, paint and wires, strewn all over the floor of the room.

"Uh, I'm not sure," Katie sighed, caked with grease and sweat. "It's coming, and that's all that matters at this point. How are you doing?" she asked, concerned. She hadn't had a chance to speak to her since the truth came out about Bill.

"Ok_, really_," she insisted, seeing Katie's raised eyebrow. "I'm not much use with all…_this_, so I brought some drinks," she said, changing the subject, and indicating towards the box she was carrying. "Chilled drinks, not coffee. I didn't think you'd want coffee."

"Frankly, as long as it's got caffeine in it, I don't care."

"I've got caffeine," Beth said digging in the box for a can of stimulant. "I've also got soda, juice and water, fizzy and non-fizzy."

"Did I hear drinks?" Ben asked, poking his head above the metal framework.

"And snacks," Beth added. "There are a couple of bags of chips thrown in there somewhere." She and Katie both stepped back as the men suddenly descended on the box, virtually clearing it of its' contents.

"Vultures," Katie said, unimpressed, taking a long sip of her drink. "Thank you," she said to Beth, as she slipped back out the door.

The next morning, the new Stinger was lowered into the water for it's first and most important outing. But unfortunately, despite everyone's efforts, things weren't to turn out the way they hoped. The craft malfunctioned three quarters of the way through the speed trial, losing them the lucrative contract.

When Beth came to offer her condolences, Katie simply nodded. "Like I said, it was about the journey."

***

With all the commotion surrounding the UEO trials, Miguel hadn't been able to properly talk to Beth for a few days. As far as he was aware, Bill had recovered fully from his episode and had been in a fairly coherent state of mind ever since, thus causing an even bigger dilemma for her, so he felt he should seek her out and find out how she was feeling. It was late, but unsurprisingly he found her still working away in one of the labs.

"Hey, you," he said as he stepped through the door. She gave him a strained smile in response. "You're hiding out again, huh?"

"It's necessary sometimes," she said flatly.

Miguel wasn't sure what she'd meant by it, so offered to leave her in peace.

"No, it's ok, I don't mind."

"Can't sleep?"

"No, actually, I'm exhausted. I've just got loads to do before we leave."

"What are you working on?"

"I'm feeding the tracking data into the GPS software so we can map the migration routes," she explained, bringing the map onscreen.

Miguel looked at it, astonished. "I still can't believe how much we've got done in the last few months."

"Great, isn't it?"

"How much longer do you think you'll need?" he asked.

She turned to look at him. "That anxious to get me off the boat, Mr Ortiz?" she teased.

He scowled at her. "You know that's not it. I can't believe how far you've come in the last few months, either."

"Yeah," she agreed. "I actually feel like a person again."

"So, what's next on the cards? Will I be calling you, _Doctor Allen _in the near future?"

Beth chuckled at the thought. "Not likely. I'd like to do a PhD eventually, but probably not for a few years. If all goes well, though, this project should mean there'll be a new marine reserve to run."

"And you'll be involved in that?"

"Possibly. The University might not decide to put me on the committee, but it's Bill's work, so I'd really like to see it through to the end."

Miguel nodded, and smiled, pleased as ever to see the sparkle that came to her eyes when she talked about her work. He was about to speak, but was interrupted by Doctor Westphalen's voice over the intercom.

"Miss Allen to med-bay please," she called, her voice strained.

Beth looked to Miguel, her thoughts plain on her face and leaped from her seat. She flung the door open behind her and raced along the decks, too anxious to bother with the mag-lev. Miguel followed close behind her, meeting Tim along the way.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Don't know," Miguel breathed as he jogged past.

Beth flew into the med-bay to find Kristin, Lucas and Nathan looking sorrowful, crowded round a bed. As she approached they pulled back to reveal Bill lying peacefully.

Beth looked for a moment, comprehension refusing to dawn on her, then realised he wasn't rigged to any machines – they were all silent. He'd gone. He was gone.


	13. Chapter 13

_North Pacific Ocean,  
__Hawaiian Islands,  
__Off the east coast of Oahu,  
__15th January 2019_

"I didn't know what to do," Miguel admitted to everyone later on the bridge. "She just stood there."

"At least you were there for her," Katie said reassuringly.

"What happened exactly?" Ben asked.

"I found him slumped over in a chair in his room. By the time we got him to med-bay he was gone already," Lucas explained.

"Doctor Westphalen thinks it was a stroke," Jonathan added.

"Poor Beth," Tim sighed, "She must be torn to pieces."

Miguel nodded, gravely. "She is."

"The Captain is on his way to see her now to discuss arrangements for the funeral," Jonathan informed them.

"He doesn't have family does he?" Katie asked. "Not even distant relations?"

"No," Miguel replied. "That's why he and Beth were so close." He paused, thinking of her now, and what she'd do without anyone in her life once she left the boat.

Jonathan exhaled deeply. "Come on people, let's get this boat to dry land. We're docking at Pearl in an hour."

"You're ending the project?" Tim was surprised.

"From what I know, the project was virtually finished anyway, and with no disrespect intended, we can't keep a body on board. Let's concentrate on the job at hand," he said, sending everyone back to their stations.

***

Beth hadn't said a word, just listened – she'd done lots of listening. The sounds of everyone's voices had filled her mind and given her something to think about. But now in the silence of Bill's room she struggled to remain whole.

She switched on the speakers and selected the humpback recordings. Having some background noise set her slightly more at ease. She then set herself the difficult task of sorting through Bill's belongings. She had two piles – one for 'keep' and one for 'donate'. She'd decided to keep most of Bill's books, one of his hats and jumpers and his pocket-watch, and had just started sorting through his published works when the Captain had knocked on the door.

"Come in," she said quietly.

Nathan came in and sat himself next to her on the bed.

"How are you holding up?" he asked.

She didn't know how answer, so she didn't, instead changing the subject. "I don't know how he wanted to be buried. If he hasn't left any particulars I'll have to decide for him."

"We will need to know, but don't worry about that just now," he told her. He gazed at all of Bill's belongings strewn in what appeared to be an unorganised mess over the room. It looked as if she'd pulled everything out of his wardrobe and drawers, just to have it all out in the open.

With reluctance, he pulled a movie-disc out of his pocket and handed it to her.

"What's this?" she asked, turning it over in her hands.

"Bill knew he was getting worse. He wanted to record a message should anything happen to him while you were here," Nathan explained, watching with a pain in his heart as the realisation dawned on Beth. What she was holding were the last words she would ever hear him speak.

With great courage, she placed the disc in the machine and tentatively pressed play.

"Hello Beth," Bill spoke, as he appeared on the screen. "You're a strong woman, so I know you'll be coping with this well," he paused. "This message is for you, as well as the wonderful crew of this vessel."

On hearing this, Nathan transmitted the signal to the bridge, causing the crew to turn in their seats to view the main screen.

"The past few months have been tremendous for many reasons. Partly because I have seen my research used for the preservation of future marine life, and partly because I have seen my student take on the role as teacher. You have no idea the joy it has given me, Captain, to see Beth so looked after, and for that I thank your crew. I don't need to mention names, but I think we all know she's caught the eye of one man in particular."

On the bridge, Miguel's mouth twitched in a smile.

"Beth, I don't know how I want to be disposed of, find a spot you feel appropriate, I trust your judgement. I also trust that you will have no trouble fending for yourself from now on. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are also a beautiful, smart, warm, caring young woman and I want you to give me your solemn promise that you will not hide yourself away again. The world deserves to see you – to know you. I have been honoured to know you and to share your heart. You should let others see it too. Now, as for the matter of my estate – I want 20% to go to setting up a marine reserve with our research, and the rest, Beth my dear is yours to live your life with. Please use it, and be happy, you deserve it so much more than anyone knows. I'll not say anymore. Nathan, take care of my girl – see her right. Goodbye, and thank you all."

The moving speech silenced everyone on the bridge.

Miguel swallowed down a lump in his throat and the urge to leap from his station and run to hold Beth in his arms.

In Bill's room, Beth leaned against Nathan with a cold lump where her heart used to be.

***

"How are you doing?" Kristin asked, as she tentatively stepped into Nathan's quarters a few hours later. Unusually, she found him in his bed, lying with his arms folded across his chest, staring up at the ceiling. He didn't look himself, and that troubled her, but then they were all shocked by Bill's death.

His chest heaved as he took a deep breath and let it out in an agonising sigh. "Still in shock, I think," he replied. "He was a fantastic man."

"He certainly was. I'm going to miss our chats together. I think we've set the world to rights three times over during the last five months."

Nathan chuckled, and sluggishly sat up and swung his legs out of the side of his bed. Kristin looked at him compassionately. "I didn't prepare myself for people dying on my boat. Least of all kind old gentlemen," he said flatly.

"I know."

He looked up at her sadly. "How about you?" How are _you_ doing?"

"The same, probably. I've been too busy worrying about Beth to think about how I'm feeling. The poor girl," she mused. "How was she?"

"Lost," was Nathan's simple response. "I wonder what she'll do with herself."

"That's what concerns me." There was a pregnant pause, while Kristin decided whether or not to keep speaking her thoughts. "She could always stay here," she suggested, deciding just to get them out in the open.

"She could _what_?" Nathan asked, incredulously.

"Think about it," Kristin said, standing up to emphasise her point. "She's a good worker, she's smart, organised, motivated; everything you'd expect from a member of this crew."

"She hasn't got enough experience."

"Then she could get it here. And besides, she already gets on well with most personnel onboard."

"You seem pretty convinced."

"I am convinced," she quipped, staring back at him.

"Is this out of pity?"

"Of course not!" she exclaimed, horrified at the suggestion. "She's worked hard, and not just on this project. She's really turned herself around. I think she'd make a good addition to my team."

"_Your _team?"

"Well, _our_ team," she relented. "So, what do you think?" she asked, and watched as he mulled it over.

"I have to admit that her project management skills far surpassed my expectations. And I didn't think she'd pull herself together so quickly." He paused again, causing Kristin to wonder which way he would sway. In the back of his mind was also the task Bill had passed to him – to take care of his girl. "I think you could be right. But I'll have to give it more thought."

"That's all I'm asking for."

***

The funeral took place at dawn two days later on a Hawaiian beach, over-looking humpback breeding waters.

As if in mourning, a lone female passed by, spy hopping and breaching as she went. Many members of the crew wanted to attend, as much for Beth as Bill's memory, so, out of respect, Nathan had ordered that those in attendance wear full military dress.

Bill lay in a wooden boat at the waters edge, looking at peace, floating on a pontoon of reeds and flowers, with the crew standing in formation around him.

Kristin and Lucas stood arm in arm with Beth, one on each side for support. He reached out for her hand and clasped it in his own.

The presence of so many people gave Beth a reassuring strength. She turned to Lucas and he gave her hand a tight squeeze. She'd never been more grateful for having met these wonderful people.

Nathan solemnly addressed them all with a moving speech, before nodding to Beth, who began to sing a haunting folk tune. The line "_who now will sing me lullabies?_" ingrained itself in Miguel's mind, ensuring he'd never forget it.

Still singing, Beth walked forward and placed a single white rose across Bill's chest then stopped and stood silently, soaking in his features for the last time. Nathan appeared beside her, holding out a flaming torch.

With shaking hands, she took hold of it, and with a deep breath, lit the reeds around Bill's body, before handing back the torch. She stepped backwards and nodded to Jonathan and Miguel, who gave the pontoon a firm push, sending it out into the water. Nathan barked a command and the line of crew all saluted out of respect. They then relaxed and came over one by one to give their condolences or simply to embrace her, wishing her their best, before silently departing to leave her alone, watching as the flaming reed boat slowly floated out to sea.

Beth looked around for the one member of the crew who hadn't greeted her, and found him standing behind her, keeping silent guard.

Although something she usually took comfort in, the rhythmic sound of the waves, and the warm breeze blowing around them were simply reminders of her sudden, enforced solitude. Desperately in need of strength, she tentatively reached out and felt for Miguel's hand. He gently took it in his own and rubbed his thumb across her fingers, as they stood silently together, watching.

The boat gently made it's way over the waves, blown by the light sea breeze. Just as it was about to pass out of view, the flames grew taller, engulfing the boat, and it disappeared beneath the sea. Beth's body convulsed in a sob and she took a deep breath, trying to maintain control.

Miguel immediately released her hand and wrapped his arms around her body, relieved when she accepted his support and took his arms, pulling him closer. He leaned his head next to hers and lovingly kissed her forehead, gently rocking her back and forth.

With his warm, solid mass at her back, Beth allowed herself to release some of her grief. She leaned her head back against him and let the tears slide silently down her face, leaving burning trails of sorrow as they fell. When she could no longer bear it, she turned and buried her face in his chest, convulsing with great sobs.

With her enveloped in his arms, he tucked her head under his chin, and held her tightly as the sun rose in the sky.


	14. Chapter 14

Later that evening, Beth walked along the corridors of the seaQuest for potentially the last time. Out of habit, more than anything, she made her way to the moon pool, removed her shoes, sat on the edge and let her feet dangle in the water.

Darwin soon surfaced beside her, rolling over, eager for a belly rub. She tickled him with her toes in response, much to his delight.

"Well boy, I guess I've come to say goodbye," she murmured, sadly.

"Why?" he asked, confused.

"Yeah, why does Beth leave?" Lucas said, emerging from behind her.

"Where did you come from?" she asked.

"I've been…hiding."

"Yeah, I can identify," Beth sighed.

"How're you doing?" Lucas asked, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"Better. Thank you for being there today, Lucas," she squeezed his hand. "It really meant a lot."

"Do you have some time? The Captain would like to see you."

Reluctantly, and emotionally exhausted, she followed Lucas to the Captain's quarters, where Nathan and Kristin were waiting for them. Kristin immediately caught her in a friendly embrace, which she gratefully accepted.

"Oh Beth sweetheart, how are you?"

"Alright, I think. You wanted to see me?"

"Have a seat," Kristin said, guiding her to a seat opposite her and Nathan, while Lucas chose to stand behind her.

"You've become a very valuable and respected member of this crew, Miss Allen," Nathan began. "And we'll all be very sorry to see you leave. Which is why, I would like to give you the opportunity to stay with us."

Beth stared, stunned, and more than a little confused. "I'm sorry, I'm tired, what are you saying?"

"Doctor Westphalen and I have been so impressed by your professional attitude and work ethic, that we would like to offer you a position as a permanent member of the seaQuest science staff."

Lucas burst with excitement "That's fantastic!"

"Lucas," Beth said, immediately looking up at him. Her expression said it all and caused his grin to vanish.

"I'm honoured, I really am. But there's no way I can stay. If I stay here, I would just be hiding all over again. I need to go back and face the real world. Besides, I have to work on getting this project turned into a marine reserve…"

"But you could do that here!!" Lucas exclaimed.

Beth sighed and stood up, prompting Nathan and Kristin to do the same.

"Being onboard this boat has turned my life around, and although it hasn't ended the way I would have wanted it to, I will always remember what you've all done for me," she told them.

"But you have a home here. We want you to stay, I want you to stay, Ortiz wants you to stay," Lucas pleaded.

The sound of Miguel's name made Beth start, but she held firm. "One day you'll understand, Lucas. I have to finish one chapter in my life before I can begin another."

Lucas glared at her. She was right about one thing – he really didn't understand.

***

"Who is it?" Katie responded to the unexpected knock on her door.

"It's Beth," came the tentative answer. The officers quarters was one of the places on the boat she hadn't ventured very often, mainly because she'd been told it was off limits without an invite. But after spending more time with Katie, she hoped that was no longer the case.

"Oh, come in," Katie said, even more surprised, and watched as Beth pushed open the hatch and took a few timid steps into her quarters, looking around her. She hadn't seen her since the funeral. It had been a long day, so understandably she looked tired and pallid. She half expected her to have crashed out by now, and was slightly curious as to why she was there, but she didn't have to wait long for an answer.

"I think I just made a big mistake," she blurted.

"Dare I ask?"

"The Captain just offered me a permanent position on the science staff, and I turned it down."

Katie blinked for a few moments, trying to comprehend what Beth had done. "Why on earth did you do that?" she asked, as equally confused by her decision as her doubt on the matter.

All the answers seemed to escape her, even the one she'd given just minutes ago. "I have other things to do," she said, more to convince herself than Katie. "There's another part of my life sitting unfinished and I can't move on unless it's done."

"Another part? I thought this was your life now."

Beth raised an eyebrow, slightly amused. "I did have a life before I came onboard you know."

"Yeah, a pretty messed up one."

Beth glowered at her, unappreciative of her comment. "You may be right, but that's what I have to face up to. I can't run away from that."

"What about Miguel?"

"What about Miguel? It never went anywhere."

"That doesn't mean it couldn't. I just think you both deserve to be happy. And besides, happy workers equal productive workers if you know what I mean."

"This is a career decision. Miguel shouldn't have any bearing on that."

"How familiar those words are."

"You two were involved. I don't even know what this confusion is."

"You _are_ involved, otherwise you wouldn't be talking about it now."

Beth sighed in frustration, mostly because Katie was forcing her to face up to the subject she'd been trying to avoid. Her emotions were in turmoil, making it all the harder to remain clear about what she wanted to do. "I've just lost the one person in my life that meant most to me. I don't think I can stand opening up to anyone right now."

"Just don't throw away this opportunity, Beth, you'll regret it forever."

"Is that what you honestly think? That I've made the wrong decision?"

"I can't tell you that. All I know is you'll kick yourself if you don't give it a try."

"What are we talking about here? The job, or Miguel?"

"You're in a unique situation here. You _can_ have your cake and eat it. I just don't understand why you're running away."

"I don't like leaving things unfinished. As confused as I am about Miguel, I'm _not _confused about Bill's work, so that's what I need to focus on."

"They don't wait forever you know."

"I know," she croaked, the realisation of what she was leaving behind beginning to catch up with her. "But I need to find myself first."

"You have a chance to be happy. Don't make the same mistake I did."

Knowing about Katie's past, coming from her, those words hit a raw nerve, and ripped apart the fragile dam that had been holding her tears back. "I don't know what's real anymore," she sobbed. "I need to have something real holding me together." She desperately hoped that Katie would understand she just wasn't ready to put so much faith in something uncertain, and no matter how cold and heartless it appeared, what she needed was to work – to work through it.

The tears just made Katie uncomfortable. In the absence of something helpful to say, she grabbed a box of tissues and handed them to her, which she accepted gratefully.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Bill," she said, once she'd composed herself. "I felt like I could have, so many times, but as time went on it seemed there was more pressure to keep it quiet."

"It's not just the secrets, Beth. He could have put any one of us in danger."

"I know. He stayed here longer than he should have. But I wouldn't do it differently – he really enjoyed his time here."

It was never easy when someone you loved went away, even if they had lived a full life and hadn't suffered. Only time could lessen the feeling of loss and yearning. They'd all appreciated the contribution and the company of the old man over the past few months. He'd made a lot of friends onboard. "I'm sorry…I really am." There was something else she was eager to say, though, before the inevitable goodbye. "You've achieved a lot while you've been here, and you need to keep building on that. You've come too far to spiral back down the same hole. Just…promise me you'll stay strong."

"I will. Thank you. For everything." Those six words were all Beth could manage, and she hoped they encompassed everything she wanted to say – that she was grateful for all the support Katie had given her, and that despite their tense beginnings, she now regarded her as a friend.

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too," she said honestly, standing up and taking her in a quick embrace. After a moment of silence, she turned the conversation to a lighter topic, for her anyway. "Do you think you and Ben will patch things up?"

"I don't know, but I want to believe in second chances."

"Yeah, me too." They looked at each other, awkwardly, knowing what had to come next. "I'd better go and pack, I'll be catching a flight out in the morning." She held out her hand. "Maybe I'll see you again sometime."

Katie took her hand. "Maybe," she said warmly.

***

Miguel had returned to seaQuest with Beth late in the afternoon and, after seeing her to her room, had returned to his, where he'd been talking to Tim ever since. He'd explained how he'd held Beth until she was too tired to cry, then walked up the beach to the shade of some trees, and sat with Beth asleep in his arms, watching the world go by.

"I'm all over the place – I don't know what I'm thinking," he admitted.

"But you _do _care about her?" Tim asked.

"Of course I do, but what is this? Am I mistaking close friendship for something more?" he shook his head in frustration.

"I can't answer that Miguel." Tim paused, considering his friend's situation. "Tell me something – just answer with your gut feeling. If by some odd coincidence she were to stay onboard – would you want something to happen?"

The question just frustrated him even more, because he couldn't decide on the answer. His gut instincts had got him into enough trouble during his lifetime to be relied on for such an important question, even if they were just speaking hypothetically. "I don't know," he sighed. "I mean, you can't work with someone for that long and not develop some kind of bond, I just…I don't know what kind of bond it is, or what I want it to be."

"You're exhausted," Tim told him. "So, this probably isn't the right time to be thinking about it anyway. Get some sleep."

"How can I get some sleep and think about this later, when she's leaving tomorrow?"

Tim really didn't have an answer for that, instead managing to calm him down with further conversation. They had still been talking when Lucas had crashed through the door.

"You've got to talk to her!!" he exclaimed.

Miguel sat up. "Lucas, what?"

"The Captain asked Beth to stay – he offered her a job on the crew and she turned him down."

Miguel sat up, surprised and awestruck. Tim looked at him, and knew exactly what thoughts were running through his head – '_She had the chance to stay and she said no – what does that mean?_' "Why? What did she say?" he asked, tentatively.

"She spewed out some garbage about having to finish chapters," he said, dejected, and coming to sit beside them.

"Lucas, it's Beth's decision," Tim added.

"I know that," he snapped, looking at Tim with derision.

"She has to live her life the way she sees fit," Miguel explained, half-heartedly. But Lucas wouldn't be subdued. He continued to nag until he persuaded Miguel to go and talk to her.

As he walked along the corridor, he thought over what Lucas had said; that she'd wanted to finish with one part of her life before starting another. At that point, it was with a heavy heart, that he decided whatever it was between them, it should go no further, not when she was clearly as confused about the future as he was.

He reached her door, took a nervous breath and knocked.

"Come in," the soft voice called from within. He made sure to relish the sound.

"Hi," she said as he came through the door. Her two suitcases were sat on her bed and she was piling her belongings neatly into them.

"So you're really going?" he sighed.

"I'm getting a flight back to the mainland from here, first thing tomorrow," she explained flatly.

"Lucas is pretty confused. He bullied me into persuading you to change your mind."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, but I'm not going to do that."

"Why's that?" she asked, tentatively.

"Because I know you need to leave," he said simply.

Beth nodded, touched by his consideration, and realised how much he really understood her. She could sense that, deep down, he already knew of the reason she needed to leave, and that it didn't completely revolve around finishing Bill's work.

"I am however going to add to your luggage," he said, pulling his hand from behind his back to reveal a package.

Beth took it warily, and pulled back the layers of paper to find a digital photograph album with hundreds of pictures from her stay on the seaQuest. Everything from photos of her and Bill, to ones from the dare night and the ice rink, were in it. Attached to the back, was also a printed copy of a photo of her and Miguel, taken at the sonar station on the bridge. Remembering that moment made her eyes well with regret.

"I need you to know that my decision to leave has no bearing on you," she sniffed, "and that if it hadn't been for your words that night, saying that you believed in me, I would never have found the strength to come off the pills."

"No," he said, shaking his head in disagreement. "You already had it in you. You just needed to hear someone say it."

She placed the gifts down on her bed and walked straight into his waiting arms.

"I'm glad that person was you," she whispered, softly. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you, too," he said quietly, and laid one final kiss softly on her head.

***

She tried to recall the strength of that memory as the plane sped over the Hawaiian waters, taking her far from the reach of the seaQuest.

"If you change your mind, there will be a place here waiting for you – travel well," had been Nathan's parting words to her.

She locked them away deep in her heart and set her mind to the future – her future, whatever it may hold.


	15. Epilogue

Watched by millions around the world, Beth Allen stepped up onto the podium alongside Admiral William Noyce to officially designate the _Briers – Allen _temporal marine life reserve.

Six months of dedicated work and negotiations had finally come to fruit. She had protested against the name, insisting it was Bill's achievement alone, but apparently a certain Captain within the UEO was set on the idea, so they wouldn't be shifted.

She cleared her throat, gazing out at the sea of faces with trepidation, but also with courage, knowing that Bill was always standing beside her.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, esteemed delegates. Thank you for joining us today for the designation of this reserve. This is the culmination of many years of dedicated research by my late colleague Doctor William Briers. He never stopped fighting to achieve rights for the wonderful creatures within our oceans, and neither should we. It becomes more and more apparent each year that the earth's oceans are to be part of our future development as a species. So we need to take steps to ensure our relationship with the oceans is not a parasitic one. To achieve symbiosis we need to start giving something back, and that starts today."

She paused as the audience broke into rapturous applause.

"Over the past year I have worked with some inspiring and dedicated people and I'd like to give thanks to them, in particular the courageous crew of the recently destroyed seaQuest, who could not be here today to share in this event."

At the very thought of them all, her heart caught in her throat and she breathed deeply to gather composure.

"So, with no more to say, it gives me great pleasure to officially designate the _Briers – Allen _Temporal Marine Life Reserve."

With a nod from Admiral Noyce, she pushed a button on the platform, lighting a buoy on the stage to signal that all 100 marker buoys in the reserve had been activated. Relief coursed through her.

***

At Fort Gore in Florida, Miguel had managed to tune into the live stream of the ceremony, and watched with pride as Beth took the stage.

As the marker buoys were lit, he found himself smiling along with her, wishing that he were by her side, and hoping against hope that someday, once again, he would be.


End file.
